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Marriage legal if names on required docs don't match?

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manda.panda

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina

Good morning, and thank you for having me on the forum. I have a question, that I am curious about. My brother is separated from a woman and they have a divorce pending (once he locates her to have papers served). He mentioned something that has me curious; her name on her birth certificate, SS card, and marriage license are different. Not just a typo, but pretty much a different name, and parts of the name omitted. I'll use a name as an example to show the difference, but with the same basic differences as her real name:
BC- Jane Lynnette Arden (minus the i)
SS- Jane Lyn Arden (minus the i)
Marriage - Jaine Lyn Arden
I had just never heard of a situation like that and thought they all had to be the same; so I was just curious :) Bride did not legally take his last name, though she used it for social media, etc. (probably irrelevant but a little more info just for knowledge's sake). Thanks for any input!
 


Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Carolina

Good morning, and thank you for having me on the forum. I have a question, that I am curious about. My brother is separated from a woman and they have a divorce pending (once he locates her to have papers served). He mentioned something that has me curious; her name on her birth certificate, SS card, and marriage license are different. Not just a typo, but pretty much a different name, and parts of the name omitted. I'll use a name as an example to show the difference, but with the same basic differences as her real name:
BC- Jane Lynnette Arden (minus the i)
SS- Jane Lyn Arden (minus the i)
Marriage - Jaine Lyn Arden
I had just never heard of a situation like that and thought they all had to be the same; so I was just curious :) Bride did not legally take his last name, though she used it for social media, etc. (probably irrelevant but a little more info just for knowledge's sake). Thanks for any input!
Why do you assume she would have take your brother's name? Why are you so involved in this?
 

manda.panda

Junior Member
I didn't assume anything. I stated that it was just for extra knowledge. I'm aware that you can marry and keep your maiden name. I just don't see the point in marrying if you're going to do that. To each their own though.

Because he is my brother and doesn't know much about divorce stuff. That's why, as if I need to explain that. I had a simple question of curiosity. No need to be rude.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I didn't assume anything. I stated that it was just for extra knowledge. I'm aware that you can marry and keep your maiden name. I just don't see the point in marrying if you're going to do that. To each their own though.

Because he is my brother and doesn't know much about divorce stuff. That's why, as if I need to explain that. I had a simple question of curiosity. No need to be rude.
I wasn't rude. I asked two questions. We don't normally answer third parties on here. You may not see the point in marrying if you are not going to follow patriarchal habits but some people don't follow that and marry someone because of love not of duty or to follow ages old traditions.
 

manda.panda

Junior Member
My apologies....

I understand, I apologize. He's just not nearly as internet savvy as I am, and I WAS curious after he mentioned the names being different. I told him that looking up other advice, I had seen this forum on Google searches many times and decided to give it a try. :) I'm usually good at digging up info, and have sortof been helping him with the divorce papers and such, so he said I could try to find an answer on here if I liked.

Again, my apologies :)
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I understand, I apologize. He's just not nearly as internet savvy as I am, and I WAS curious after he mentioned the names being different. I told him that looking up other advice, I had seen this forum on Google searches many times and decided to give it a try. :) I'm usually good at digging up info, and have sortof been helping him with the divorce papers and such, so he said I could try to find an answer on here if I liked.

Again, my apologies :)
The names are not different enough to matter.
 

emilyrambal

Junior Member
Emily Rambal

Even after you change your maiden name to your married name, there are still some situations in which you may need to continue using your old name.
 

justalayman

Senior Member
Even after you change your maiden name to your married name, there are still some situations in which you may need to continue using your old name.
Really? So after legally changing your name the woman would still be required to use her maiden name for some reason?

What reasons would those be?
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I just don't see the point in marrying if you're going to do that. To each their own though.
Lots of reasons. It is often very difficult to change a name on a professional license, so a lot of women keep their maiden name for that reason (I have a friend who is a CPA who held her name as a result). Many women feel it is a throwback to when women were considered chattel and prefer to maintain their own identity. My Godmother urged me to keep my name when I married (nearly 30 years ago) - I wish I'd taken her advice.

To take your opint further - why couldn't your brother have changed his name to hers, if it was an issue important to him? And no "for the children" isn't a valid answer in my book - both of mine have their father's last name (as do I), and my oldest is in the process of changing hers to my maiden name.
 

rooms222

Member
Things were not as picky before SSN was used for dependents on the IRS tax form (early '80s) and then 9/11.

My parents wanted me to use my middle name. On the birth certificate I was (e.g.) Homer James Simpson. Back in the 70's they got my SS Card and Record to be H. James Simpson. Later, when I needed a replacement card, the Social Security Office did a full birth record check and changed my SS Record to Homer James Simpson on its own initiative.

These small differences do not seem significant. For her own interests, she should probably get them to be more consistent if desired. I know I had to change one of my frequent flier accounts after the scrutiny of travellers became more persistent after 9/11.
 

NellieBly

Member
Things were not as picky before SSN was used for dependents on the IRS tax form (early '80s) and then 9/11.

My parents wanted me to use my middle name. On the birth certificate I was (e.g.) Homer James Simpson. Back in the 70's they got my SS Card and Record to be H. James Simpson. Later, when I needed a replacement card, the Social Security Office did a full birth record check and changed my SS Record to Homer James Simpson on its own initiative.

These small differences do not seem significant. For her own interests, she should probably get them to be more consistent if desired. I know I had to change one of my frequent flier accounts after the scrutiny of travellers became more persistent after 9/11.


The Social Security Administration has decreed that my son's middle name is Gerald, when I thought it was Gerard.
 

commentator

Senior Member
I did actually find out about a person who was meeting folks on "Christian tingle" and "Match my con" sites. We all noticed that she used several different spellings and variations of her name, like Jennifer, Jenni, Jen, Gen, etc. and we sort of figured out why when we did a little research for the benefit of a very computer illiterate older widower friend of ours who was about to marry her.

We noticed that this constant name flipping made her slightly harder to Google and find out things about, including about at least three previous marriages (new last names, anyone?) that she had forgotten to mention to him, a D.W.I. and possibly some criminal charges (if she was the person with the very similar but slightly different name.)

I sort of agree with the soon to be ex-sister in law that there may be some devious reasons why this person used so many variations of her name(s) Not to mention that he can't find her now to serve the divorce papers. But it was really her brother's place to figure it all out. No one should marry anyone without checking for criminal record and making sure they are who they claim to be in this day and time. And he should be glad he has gotten out of the marriage without drinking anti-freeze in his sweet tea after she got the insurance policy in effect.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
I did actually find out about a person who was meeting folks on "Christian tingle" and "Match my con" sites. We all noticed that she used several different spellings and variations of her name, like Jennifer, Jenni, Jen, Gen, etc. and we sort of figured out why when we did a little research for the benefit of a very computer illiterate older widower friend of ours who was about to marry her.

We noticed that this constant name flipping made her slightly harder to Google and find out things about, including about at least three previous marriages (new last names, anyone?) that she had forgotten to mention to him, a D.W.I. and possibly some criminal charges (if she was the person with the very similar but slightly different name.)

I sort of agree with the soon to be ex-sister in law that there may be some devious reasons why this person used so many variations of her name(s) Not to mention that he can't find her now to serve the divorce papers. But it was really her brother's place to figure it all out. No one should marry anyone without checking for criminal record and making sure they are who they claim to be in this day and time. And he should be glad he has gotten out of the marriage without drinking anti-freeze in his sweet tea after she got the insurance policy in effect.
You could be right but it could also be whim as much as anything. My daughter doesn't use her middle name on anything so its only on her birth certificate and Social Security card, and she changes the spelling of the shortened version of her first name at whim...kind of along the Jennifer, Jennyfer, Jenny, Jenni, Jen route. In addition, we have an unusual last name, along the lines of "de Vega" and it appears that way on our SS cards, but we have both given up and just use it as Devega everywhere else because nobody ever gets it right and its just a hassle otherwise.

Just as an FYI, the IRS, for example, doesn't care what you call yourself as long as the first letter of your first name and the first 4 letters of your last name match what is on file with the SSA. I suspect that other government agencies have similar policies.
 
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cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
Until I was eighteen, I used a common spelling of the most common nickname for the name I was christened. Example: Maggie for Margaret. When I was eighteen, I changed to a less common spelling of the same name: Maggy instead of Maggie.

When I married I took my husband's name. When my brother married my SIL kept her own name. My cousin's wife, who was christened the same name I was and uses the same spelling I originally used, took my cousin's name so she is now known by the same name I had prior to age 18.


My father in law, husband and son all have the same first name. My FIL uses a nickname (Charlie); my husband uses a nickname for his middle name (Bob) and my son uses the full name, Charles. (FIL's father used a different nickname - Chuck)

Different people, different ways they want to use their name. No biggie.
 

manda.panda

Junior Member
Thanks everyone.

Thank you all, he was just kinda hoping that with the name difference, especially since one is the birth certificate and one is the SS card, there would be a loophole so he could just get rid of her. The marriage license isn't even the same as EITHER of those legal documents and it just seems that in order for a marriage to be valid, it would have to match SOMEthing. It's basically 2 different names, which is so weird....still don't understand it. She's an evil woman and he wants rid of her, rightly so!! lol

But soon, hopefully. I told him it's up to him now, I can only be so much help, and I tried. :)
 
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