Mediation question

[buka]

MN -- This issue is trying to revise the visitation schedule with NCP, as the current e/o weekend schedule conflicts with her work schedule and child ends up spending about 2 hours with NCP the entire weekend - child is very unhappy and fights having to go over there. NCP is not being cooperative, thinks the goal is to "take time away" rather than arrange a schedule that might allow the child to spend some more time with her.

Met with a lawyer, was advised to try mediation and gave me the name of a mediator. We've never gone thru mediation, so I have a few questions:
1) Are both parties required to go or am I just going to be asking her to please come?
2) Is the mediator supposed to be advising in the child's best interest and if so, do we give the mediator background info?
3) What if we still can't agree? Then are we automatically pushed back to court?

Any info would be appreciated. Thanks.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Mediation is a voluntary process and, depending upon the issues involved, can take anywhere from a few hours to a few days worth of mediation efforts.

Since it is voluntary, neither party is required to attend - - however, it really looks good to a judge when the judge reads the mediation report that both parties participated. Conversely, a judge really frowns upon a party who doesn't, at least, give it a whirl. If a party wants to get the judge's "ear" at trial, that party had better be able to demonstrate cooperation in, at least, trying to come to some agreement BEFORE wasting the court's time.

A mediation is NOT an arbitration; i.e., the mediator makes no decisions between the parties. The mediator's role is to merely help the parties identify the issues, and to help each party come to their own decision(s) on the issues - - to find "common ground." A mediator is there to help make each party's wishes "workable" - - a give and take session, if you will.

If the mediation is successful, that's the end of it. If it's unsuccessful as to any or all of the pending issues between the parties, then it is those issues that are scheduled for trial. A judge only wants to know that both parties tried, in good faith, to come to their own conclusions prior to trial via mediation. Judges realize that not all issues can be resolved through mediation, which is the reason for the judge's existence. But, like I said, all a judge wants to know is that both parties tried to work out their problems.

Think of mediation as a voluntary "filter process" to clear away the little "ticky-tacky" squabbles, bringing only the most difficult issues before the court if mediation does not completely work.

Good luck, Buka.

IAAL

 

[buka]

Thank you very much. That helps a lot.