Medical, always medical

[Amy_75%]

What is the name of your state? Missouri
Our parenting plan states that I carry insurance and he pays 75% of not covered medical. We have 3 kids, 2 of which refuse to see him, and he could care less. In June 2017 we finally went to court over medical bills he has not paid since the new parenting plan (1.5 years). The judgement came 8/28/17, he was found in contempt, that he had 90 days to pay medical bills, 1/3 of my legal fees, and deliver children's personal items. Right at the 90 day mark he paid the legal fees, but that's all. Since the court date another $1,000 had accumulated in medical bills, I took him to small claims (I was order $168 because I had not paid all the medical bills). I took him back to court for not following through on the contempt order from 8/28/17 judgement. The judge said, we'll I thought maybe he had forgot, I wanted to give him a chance, that was 2/2018. Here it is almost 365 days after his 90 days and nothing has been done. At all. The judge just keeps giving him a chance. Keeps well let's see. Always making excused. He currently owes $4,700 in medical bills to me. I can't get him to pay, court isn't forcing him, and it's costing me more in court than the medical bills. What does one do? Why must I follow through with the parenting plan but he doesn't have to?

 

[t74]

If you are allowing any of the children to refuse to see their father, how are you following the parenting plan?


If he to reimburse you, why are you expecting payments to if you have not paid the providers? You mention how much you feel you are due, how much is outstanding in total?

 

[TigerD]

If you don't have an attorney, you need one. The solution you are looking for is a CRIMINAL contempt motion. As the judge to jail him until he pays.

TD

 

[LdiJ]

If you are allowing any of the children to refuse to see their father, how are you following the parenting plan?


If he to reimburse you, why are you expecting payments to if you have not paid the providers? You mention how much you feel you are due, how much is outstanding in total?

Dad doesn't appear to care.

 

[Amy_75%]

If you are allowing any of the children to refuse to see their father, how are you following the parenting plan?


If he to reimburse you, why are you expecting payments to if you have not paid the providers? You mention how much you feel you are due, how much is outstanding in total?

In the custody papers it states "subject periods of parenting time with Petitioner descretionary with the daughters", he threw the oldest out and used the second one as a slave in his home for his own purposes. They want to be adopted by their stepfather but he has to allow it first. They don't have to see him and dont want to.
I don't know if I understand you said "you mentioned how much you feel you are due?"
The outstanding balance doesn't mean anything. He is to pay, not reimburse 75% of not covered medical bills.

 

[Amy_75%]

If you don't have an attorney, you need one. The solution you are looking for is a CRIMINAL contempt motion. As the judge to jail him until he pays.

TD

I have an attorney. A good one l, so far but when you go into the court room after 120+ days after a judgement for contempt and the judge says, "we'll I thought maybe he had forgot or something", "trying to give him a chance".

 

[Amy_75%]

I have an attorney. A good one l, so far but when you go into the court room after 120+ days after a judgement for contempt and the judge says, "we'll I thought maybe he had forgot or something", "trying to give him a chance".

And the judge will not put him in jail, he said that won't fix anything, no one will get any money then.

 

[t74]

In the custody papers it states "subject periods of parenting time with Petitioner descretionary with the daughters", he threw the oldest out and used the second one as a slave in his home for his own purposes. They want to be adopted by their stepfather but he has to allow it first. They don't have to see him and dont want to.
I don't know if I understand you said "you mentioned how much you feel you are due?"
The outstanding balance doesn't mean anything. He is to pay, not reimburse 75% of not covered medical bills.

There is a stepfather in the picture. You want the adoption. This may explain the animosity and their supposed reason that they do not want to see him. You have put them in the middle of a very difficult situation. They live with you, and if the attitude towards their father in your postings is apparent to them, they will want to appease you to make their lives easier in your house. Rather than encouraging the father-daughter relationship, you want to replace their dad.

If the adoption goes through, he should be relieved of support from that time on. If adoption is the goal;, forgive the arrears.

If he is to "pay" and not "reimburse", why is he not being billed directly? Why should he trust you to pay the medical bills and not use the funds for other purposes? He should only pay the providers directly. Did you bother to have the EOBs forwarded to him or are you just making demands for dollar amounts? Has he been informed of and consented to non-emergency and non-routine procedures?

Your intense dislike for your EX as evidenced in your postings is likely contributing to your inability to work with him. In addition to the attorney, all of you and your shared children should be in counseling. This high conflict relationship is not good for anyone involved.

 

[not2cleverRed]

There is a stepfather in the picture. You want the adoption. This may explain the animosity and their supposed reason that they do not want to see him. You have put them in the middle of a very difficult situation. They live with you, and if the attitude towards their father in your postings is apparent to them, they will want to appease you to make their lives easier in your house. Rather than encouraging the father-daughter relationship, you want to replace their dad.

If the adoption goes through, he should be relieved of support from that time on. If adoption is the goal;, forgive the arrears.

If he is to "pay" and not "reimburse", why is he not being billed directly? Why should he trust you to pay the medical bills and not use the funds for other purposes? He should only pay the providers directly. Did you bother to have the EOBs forwarded to him or are you just making demands for dollar amounts? Has he been informed of and consented to non-emergency and non-routine procedures?

Your intense dislike for your EX as evidenced in your postings is likely contributing to your inability to work with him. In addition to the attorney, all of you and your shared children should be in counseling. This high conflict relationship is not good for anyone involved.

Just a minor quibble: many times direct billing of the other parent is not possible. And the parent who takes the kid to the dr is the one who signs the paperwork, and is considered responsible for getting those bills paid. The dr's office really just cares about getting the bill paid, not what some court order says. Amy's credit takes a hit if it goes to collections, not Dad's, because he's signed nothing.

So, if Dad REFUSES to pay up, Amy gets to be taken to collections. If Amy pays Dad's share in order to avoid the debt going to collections, why shouldn't she be reimbursed? There is nothing to indicate that Amy hasn't provided invoices with all the information to Dad. In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Amy has sent copies of all bills, at which point Dad could have paid his share directly to the healthcare provider should he choose to follow the court order. I haven't seen a bill yet from a healthcare provider that didn't include info about how to pay for it.

No matter what Mom does, Dad doing a tit for tat is not legally supportable. If he wants to enter a motion for contempt because he's not seeing the kids, fine. If he wants reunification therapy with Mom paying, he can try to file a motion for that. But that is legally separate from the FACT that he has repeatedly been informed of these medical bills, chooses not to pay for them, refuses to the children's belongings, doesn't appear to give a d*** about the girls, except to claim them as "his" like they're chattel. He has no use for daughters, let someone else adopt them, otherwise support them.

 

[t74]

Just a minor quibble: many times direct billing of the other parent is not possible. And the parent who takes the kid to the dr is the one who signs the paperwork, and is considered responsible for getting those bills paid. The dr's office really just cares about getting the bill paid, not what some court order says. Amy's credit takes a hit if it goes to collections, not Dad's, because he's signed nothing.

So, if Dad REFUSES to pay up, Amy gets to be taken to collections. If Amy pays Dad's share in order to avoid the debt going to collections, why shouldn't she be reimbursed? There is nothing to indicate that Amy hasn't provided invoices with all the information to Dad. In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Amy has sent copies of all bills, at which point Dad could have paid his share directly to the healthcare provider should he choose to follow the court order. I haven't seen a bill yet from a healthcare provider that didn't include info about how to pay for it.

No matter what Mom does, Dad doing a tit for tat is not legally supportable. If he wants to enter a motion for contempt because he's not seeing the kids, fine. If he wants reunification therapy with Mom paying, he can try to file a motion for that. But that is legally separate from the FACT that he has repeatedly been informed of these medical bills, chooses not to pay for them, refuses to the children's belongings, doesn't appear to give a d*** about the girls, except to claim them as "his" like they're chattel. He has no use for daughters, let someone else adopt them, otherwise support them.

Then ask for a court order directing that dad sign the financial responsibility form so the the medical office will bill dad.

When talks of adoption come up and the children are required to visit only at the discretion of the mother when dad had been cooperative (at least somewhat) in the past, he is certainly justified for being angry. If dad asked for visitation in the past and mom has denied it which appears to be possible in the order as she posted, then I cannot fault dad for being a jerk when he has been replaced yet seems to be a funding source. IMO, dad - and the children - would be better off if he allowed the adoption. Sometimes love is letting go.

 

[jonathan94112]

What is the name of your state? Missouri
Our parenting plan states that I carry insurance and he pays 75% of not covered medical. We have 3 kids, 2 of which refuse to see him, and he could care less. In June 2017 we finally went to court over medical bills he has not paid since the new parenting plan (1.5 years). The judgement came 8/28/17, he was found in contempt, that he had 90 days to pay medical bills, 1/3 of my legal fees, and deliver children's personal items. Right at the 90 day mark he paid the legal fees, but that's all. Since the court date another $1,000 had accumulated in medical bills, I took him to small claims (I was order $168 because I had not paid all the medical bills). I took him back to court for not following through on the contempt order from 8/28/17 judgement. The judge said, we'll I thought maybe he had forgot, I wanted to give him a chance, that was 2/2018. Here it is almost 365 days after his 90 days and nothing has been done. At all. The judge just keeps giving him a chance. Keeps well let's see. Always making excused. He currently owes $4,700 in medical bills to me. I can't get him to pay, court isn't forcing him, and it's costing me more in court than the medical bills. What does one do? Why must I follow through with the parenting plan but he doesn't have to?

There is a reason he is reluctant to pay all the bills. There are good dads that goes all the way to support his kids and wife. What is the root reason he is doing that.