Medical neglect?

[suppermom57]

What is the name of your state? Wisconsin

I have joint legal custody with ex having physical placement. My son has allergies and is prescribed medicine to take daily. His allergies are so bad that the Dr. thinks that my son should start having shots to control his allergies. My ex doesn't make sure my son is taking his medicine, nor does he keep his medicine full. Now, my son is 14 and should take responsibility for his meds, but he doesn't. My ex and his wife tell my son that his allergies aren't that bad and really don't need his meds. My question is this medical neglect?

 

[confused10]

it is not medical neclect you need to tell them to talk to the childs doctor so they can hear it for themselves

 

[suppermom57]

I had the Dr write a letter to my ex explaining everything to him. I got a copy of the letter that was sent.

 

[CJane]

How is the child suffering due to dad not taking the allergies as seriously as you think he should? Why isn't a 14 year old more responsible when it comes to his own health? My just turned 9 year old demonstrates more responsibility for her medications than it seems your 14 year old is.

Especially in a joint custody arrangement, Dad is probably well within his rights to not medicate the child - provided he's not causing actual physical harm by doing so.

 

[Mbarr77]

What is the name of your state? Wisconsin

I have joint legal custody with ex having physical placement. My son has allergies and is prescribed medicine to take daily. His allergies are so bad that the Dr. thinks that my son should start having shots to control his allergies. My ex doesn't make sure my son is taking his medicine, nor does he keep his medicine full. Now, my son is 14 and should take responsibility for his meds, but he doesn't. My ex and his wife tell my son that his allergies aren't that bad and really don't need his meds. My question is this medical neglect?

We are talking about actual allergies to things like pet dander, pollen, those types of allergies, correct? Not actual allergies to things that could be seriously fatal like food allergies?

 

[suppermom57]

Yes, my son is VERY irresponsible, but it also has to do with the fact of dad telling him that he doesn't have allergies and that he is fine.
He is allergies to ALL types of mold. His reaction is that he is always tired, black circles under eyes, runny nose, constant coughing and trouble breathing.

 

[Mbarr77]

How much much time does the child spend with dad? Can the medication not be left with the school nurse along with the note saying he has to have it every day, and have it administered there?

 

[justalayman]

We are talking about actual allergies to things like pet dander, pollen, those types of allergies, correct? Not actual allergies to things that could be seriously fatal like food allergies?

The OP did not state if asthma is involved. If so any of these could cause probelms that do become life threatening.

So OP....is asthma involved? Or any other pulmonary illness that may be aggrevated to the point of being life threatening?

 

[suppermom57]

Dad has physical placement and I live approx. 2 hours away.
That is a GREAT idea about giving a note and meds to the school nurse and having them distribute to him.

 

[Mbarr77]

The OP did not state if asthma is involved. If so any of these could cause probelms that do become life threatening.

So OP....is asthma involved? Or any other pulmonary illness that may be aggrevated to the point of being life threatening?

She said it could create trouble breathing, but never stated asthma. That is why I asked if the medicine could be administered by the school nurse. That way she knows he is getting it the majority of the week. Other than that, yes the father should be taking responsibility to ensure the child gets it, but definately so should the 14 year old!

 

[suppermom57]

Asthma is not part of his problem right now. But, the Dr. has indicated by not taking his meds and the severity of his allergies it could bring on asthma.

 

[CJane]

Asthma is not part of his problem right now. But, the Dr. has indicated by not taking his meds and the severity of his allergies it could bring on asthma.

Ok, so Dad has physical placement of the child and you live far enough away that it's a safe assumption that you don't see him more than EOW, correct?

My kids both have allergies. The ENT doctor prescribed a 6 week program of the following meds for my then 8 year old...

sudafed (adult strength) 2x/day
claritin (adult strength) 2x/day
rhinocort 1x/day
Afrin nasal spray 2x/day

I was VERY committed to making sure she got the meds exactly as recommended and exactly on time. Ex, not so much - and in fact he decided after about 3 weeks that all of the OTC stuff was just too expensive and too much of a pain in the a$$, so he stopped everything but the Rhinocort. Result: fluid retention in child's ears and possible permanent (though minor)hearing loss. I was pissed, but it's not medical neglect.

Now, she's on OTC Claritin and Afrin 'as needed'. And at 9 (barely), she's VERY good at assessing when she 'needs' her meds. I'd have a talk with your 14 year old and tell him he'd stop feeling like crap all the time if he'd take his medication.

 

[suppermom57]

I have spoke to my son and his father has him convinced that his symptoms are just the way he is, even though the Dr has even spoke to my son. I guess my only option is waiting for my son to get older and see for himself. It just saddens me to know my son has to feel like crap for the next how many years!

 

[Mbarr77]

I have spoke to my son and his father has him convinced that his symptoms are just the way he is, even though the Dr has even spoke to my son. I guess my only option is waiting for my son to get older and see for himself. It just saddens me to know my son has to feel like crap for the next how many years!

Ok, and still I ask is there any way the medicine can be administered at school?

 

[CJane]

Ok, and still I ask is there any way the medicine can be administered at school?

If dad has placement, it's going to be difficult for mom to 'order' the meds to be given at school - especially if dad were to step in and say that he didn't approve. The school isn't going to put themselves in the middle.

I'm thinking that if the kid at 14 feels sick enough, he'll take his meds.