Mental Abuse

[goldengirlblue]

What is the name of your state? Pa

Got some question's and hope to find the asnwer too.
I got divorsed about two years ago.
With in the marriage there was mental abuse.
My ex husband was a very badly control freak and he still is.
I see things in my children that he control's such as my oldest won't talk much more and dont smile as much anymore unless her dad is out of the picture he questions them on the phone every time so much that she gets scared about things she says.
She is scared of getting in trouble.
I have never spanked my children at all.I know he uses the wooden spoon on them or has bevore.
I used to call it with in the marriage that I was brain washed by him.
He is so good that he can tell you. you did something and you know you did not do that and the next minuute you realy sit there and ask your selfe did i realy do that?
I see little stuff in my girls the scare in the eyes when he buts them on the middle of something.
He bribe's the girls all the time if you do this you can have this.
Any thoughts on what I can do here?

 

[BL]

What is the name of your state? Pa

Got some question's and hope to find the asnwer too.
I got divorsed about two years ago.
With in the marriage there was mental abuse.
My ex husband was a very badly control freak and he still is.
I see things in my children that he control's such as my oldest won't talk much more and dont smile as much anymore unless her dad is out of the picture he questions them on the phone every time so much that she gets scared about things she says.
She is scared of getting in trouble.
I have never spanked my children at all.I know he uses the wooden spoon on them or has bevore.
I used to call it with in the marriage that I was brain washed by him.
He is so good that he can tell you. you did something and you know you did not do that and the next minuute you realy sit there and ask your selfe did i realy do that?
I see little stuff in my girls the scare in the eyes when he buts them on the middle of something.
He bribe's the girls all the time if you do this you can have this.
Any thoughts on what I can do here?

He could be a control freak , and manipulative .

If He doesn't cause bruising by spanking , it wouldn't be abuse .

I hear nothing in your post that suggest DV .

As was put to me one time , " Different families , have different styles of living " . That does make the way they live wrong .

Your story doesn't even sound close to what I observed with my brother , his young daughter at the time , and his X . No where near it , and there was never an issue of neglect or abuse on his part of control and freaking out , brought up outside the family .

 

[goldengirlblue]

What's DV?
Sorry but I dont know what is.

My daughters both went to therapie and he stoped taking them telling the counceler that he wont bring them anymore because they dont have a mental illness so he stoped taking them.
The councelor told me about it and he is the insuracne holder so he stoped taking the girl's there.
The councelor told me that it would be very good if the girl's come and see her she can tell something is going on and it took the girl's a while to come out with it.
They are hurt and need a nutarul person to talk to not just mom and dad.
Not sure if I explained it all right.
I am not sure what you brother is going thru but any divorse that dont end in friendchip is not good for kid's.
It hurt's the children badly all they want for all this to stop.
I know that what mine want .

 

[BL]

If the children are old enough to go to outside counseling , they should be old enough to go to school .

Talk to the school(s) about having the school physiologist evaluate and council them every so often , IF need be .

 

[goldengirlblue]

Yeah my oldest is going to school second grade .
I will talk to the school about it .
I just hurt realy bad knowing they are hurt emogenaly

 

[BL]

Yeah my oldest is going to school second grade .
I will talk to the school about it .
I just hurt realy bad knowing they are hurt emogenaly

If you are using IE ( INTERNET Explorer browser ) , may I suggest downloading , installing , and using IEspellcheck .

I'm one to talk . LOL It helps tremendously though .

 

[goldengirlblue]

Hahaha I will make sure I spell check before posting the message
That's my way of spelling the way I think
It's the way I speak it.
It's the German in me.

 

[angelmama]

OP, What county do you live in? PA typically has centers in every county that could provide counseling services to your children based upon mental abuse at little to no cost to you.