messed up situation

[0861jro]

Ohio I have custody of my 13 year old daughter and moved to Cincinnati for my youngest child by my second marriage to have a bone maroow trasnplant. My 13 year old went to school out here in Ohio for a year. She went back in June to Nebraska to visit with her dad and didn't want to go to school out here. I allowed her to stay there and go to school. Now summer is here and She doesn't want to come back out here. Her father is not helping by telling her she don't have to come. I do not have an order from when I moved out to Ohio to move her out of state. Does that matter? Can I go and pick my child up? If he refuses to let me have her can law enforcement be called for back up?What is the name of your state?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Ohio I have custody of my 13 year old daughter and moved to Cincinnati for my youngest child by my second marriage to have a bone maroow trasnplant. My 13 year old went to school out here in Ohio for a year. She went back in June to Nebraska to visit with her dad and didn't want to go to school out here. I allowed her to stay there and go to school. Now summer is here and She doesn't want to come back out here. Her father is not helping by telling her she don't have to come. I do not have an order from when I moved out to Ohio to move her out of state. Does that matter?

Yes it does matter. It means, absent any permissible language in the order allowing you to abscond with your daughter from the jurisdiction of the court, you are in contempt.

Can I go and pick my child up?

Yes. But then he can also file for custody for your absconding.

If he refuses to let me have her can law enforcement be called for back up?What is the name of your state?

What backup? This is a civil matter. Unless you can show that he has no rights the police will likely not become involved.

 

[0861jro]

Absconding????

I guess I should have mentioned that we both agreed to her coming to Ohio when she did. There was no issue then and the courts did know that I moved. If parents come to a parental plan in agreement why is a court order necessary? Does the amount of time he has had her do anything to the court order of my having custody? And if you want to bring up the issue of me paying child support to him while he has had her I can save you that one. He is about 4 years behind on child support himself. Any time he does pay me anything, I spend it on her dental work, clothing and such. Yes, I have rcpts too. As far as a civil issue, I don't really understand all that. If a parent has custody of a child and the non-custodial parent will not return them, what else do you do besides take a police officer with you to get the child? That advice was given to someone else on here. I live 15 hours away and my child needs medical attention so the idea of filing an emergency petition with the court is not something I can really do. Ohio

 

[0861jro]

Help me please

I really need some help here and some good answers so I know if I should get an attorney or not. We BOTH agreed that she would move to Ohio with me. There was not a legal fight about it and it was something we agreed upon. Is it or was it necessary for me to get an order to do this? Can I bring her out here now and have her here while I am in the process of filing the apers?

She went for her legal visitation last summer and THAT is when she decided not to come back because of school. She was TOLD by him she didn't have to come if she didn't want to. With my other childs illness, I could not drive 16 hours to go there and fight with him and load her up. She said she diudn't want to come back and he didn't make her. Can he tell her she doesn't have to come back?

After many heated phone calls, I agreed to let her stay there with him for the school year so she would be where she is more comfortable in the environment. Does my letting her stay there for school have any bearing on the original custody order? Can they say that I let him have her for the school year so he has custody now? Can my letting her stay there for school make an issue when I want to push my parental rights and make her be returned home?

Now school is out and I want her to spend the rest of May, June and part of July with me. He is telling her now that if she doesn't want to spend the summer with me that she doesn't have to. He is letting her say that basketball camp, volleyball camp and some babysitting jobs are more important than spending the summer with me. He was cursing at me on the phone last night and told me to bring the cops and the army. If she doesn't want to go she is not going. Can he tell her she doesn't have to come? Can he keep her if I go to pick her up?

WHAT DO I DO IF I GO THERE TO GET HER AND HE WON'T LET ME HAVE HER?
DOES SHE HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY I WANT TO STAY HERE AND NOT GO? dOES SHE HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL A JUDGE SHE WANTS TO BE WITH HER FATHER AND NOT WITH ME?

 

[LdiJ]

Judges do tend to take a teenager's wishes into consideration to some extent or another when it comes to primary residence. Its very possible, particularly since you moved away, that a judge would take her wishes into consideration. However, at the same time a judge would rarely take a teens wishes into consideration regarding visitation.

My suggestion is that you let her stay with dad during the school year, but insist that she spend the summers with you.

 

[0861jro]

Not working

I did let her spend the school year with him and now school is out. When I called to make arrangements to pick her up, she didn[t want to come because of basketball camps, volleyball camps and babysitting. WHen I talked to her father he started cursing me and said he wouldn't let me have her if I made the 15 hour trip back to Nebraska to get her. Then what do I do?

My divorce decree states the petitioner (me) is awarded the care, custody and controlof the minor children of the parties subject to reasonable visitation, Appendix "A" , and subject to the condition that the respndent not consume alcohol during visits with the minor child. We won't get into the alcohol issue. Nowhere in the decree does it state I have to get permission to move out of state, nor does it in the Appendix.

The appendix states that as long as the parties agree, and continue to agree, they may modify this visitation schedule as they desire. Well, we modified the visitation by lettinghim keep her for the school year. Now he won't return her so we aren't in agreement. Where does that leave me?

He has no home phone so nobody can call her.

He would not let her return out here last summer and it was a big ordeal almost to the point where I had to get law involved to file police reports. I finally agreed to let her stay. BUT, it also states, willful violation of visitation orders is considered contempt of court. Am i wrong in stating he is in contempt of court now and has been by not letting her or telling her she has to return home? He didn't even allow me to have her for Christmas vacation.

Again I ask, what do I do if I go there andhe will not give her to me?????????????????????

 

[stealth2]

You can call the cops and have them write a report, but they will not likely force her to go with you. So then you file with the courts - in NE. And you can expect that he will file for a modification of custody - and will likely get it. Your best bet is to file for a mod yourself, requesting appropriate visitation.

 

[NotAnAttorney]

In a different state, a different case, and a different Judge, history has told me that this exact same defense of "the order allows us to modify the visitation schedule" so we allowed the child to remain with the NCP for the school year... came with a response from the Judge of "yes, visitation, not custody... you modified custody without the Court's consent, not visitation" and the NCP was granted sole custody based on that. As I said, different state, different case, different Judge. Plus in that case, the NCP had filed for custody before the school year had ended based on the fact that the child was living with them, under a signed agreement by both parents for the child to live with them until the end of the school year with specific visitation, so it is a little different scenario.

So, if the NCP has yet to file anything by summer, I suggest (after contacting an attorney to be sure) going to attempt to pick the child up. If he refuses, see if you can file some sort of report for Interference with Custody or something similar to that and file your own motion in the court using the police report as evidence.

 

[0861jro]

more info

Thanks for all the great help so far. I spoke with the county attorney in the county where she is at right now and he told me I would have to get a court order to take her right now? I guess I am not understanding why I would need a court order for visitation when I have custody "legally on paper" of her. If the situation were different and he had the custody, I would still only be enforcing my rights to visitation. Again, why do I have to go through the courts to get an order to pick her up for visitation? This makes no sense to me. ALso, I researched and didn't find anything about having to get the courts permission to move her out of state. It does not state that I have to in our divorce decree either. One member said something about absconding since there was no order to move her out of stae. What exactly is that or what does that mean and if there is no order for me to do that, how did I do anything wrong? Honestly, she can stay there for school. She does better and is happy there. I just want my time in the summer with her. Is he not in contempt by allowing her to make plans and schedule activites without my consent when it impedes on my visitation? It is his responsibility to see to it that she does visit. She does not like the idea of coming to my home and having rules, not being able to run the show. Clearly ,he is letting her do that and a whole lot more I won't get into. Thanks for any answers to these questions you might have.

 

[0861jro]

another question

I am reading a lot of different threads here where either mom or dad has been absent for a lengthy amount of time and the noncustodal parent or joint parent has the child. The question has been asked if they can walk back in afer 6 months or so and take the child since it is in the court papers that they live with them. The reply is yes, they can come back after so many months and take the child. How is this so different from my situation?

 

[0861jro]

Is there anyone on here that has any help with these questions. If you are why I didn't ask the county attorney myself, SIMPLE, it was a weekend and he didn't want to spend his time answering a bunch of questions. I really need some advice on this.