Michigan I have twin boys 20 months old. Since mother discovered she was pregnant she has changed narratives about why I shouldn't be in children's lives.
I believe it is because she has a personality disorder like narcissism, malicious mother syndrome, bi-polar, who knows. As a precursor I am a felon. I had a drug problem when I was younger and got clean in 1999 and stayed clean until I started growing cannabis here a couple years ago. I don't drink or use drugs regularly, except cannabis.
We only knew each other for 2 months.
Narratives:
1. She read a conversation with my Father, to which he suggested I look into abortion and adoption. When Mother read this, she texted me and said that I mentioned abortion, which I did not...and told me to never call her again and I will never see my children.
2. Our first Friend of the Court meeting. I had recovered from a herniated disc and was on pain meds the emergency room prescribed. She found
out from a mutual friend I was on pills and got a court order for a hair drug test which I failed, as my last use was 1 1/2 months prior to the test.
As a result I was subjected to 45 weeks drug testing and AA meetings.
3. I am a licensed cannabis caregiver and she said I had mold growing in my home. I passed an air quality test
4. I have a large breed dog she wont stop complaining about. The kids have already bonded with the dog and they co-exist fine.
I started my visitations at Catholic Social Services. a visitation/exchange facility. After she embarrassed herself enough the judge cancelled the visitations
at CSS. We now meet at the police station. We had a settlement conference 10/16/19 and I was set up on a tiered
visitation schedule to which she violated the first 5 visits. The only reason she has obeyed this court order as of the last 3 recent visits is because
she wants to look good in front of the courts for our motion for parenting time during her wedding she just filed. The court date is a few weeks away and id like some suggestive input from this forum, as I have learned a lot already and thank you in advance. Since the beginning of my unsupervised visitations she has done
nothing but try and hustle me out of my parenting time, and for the most part succeeded. At FOC they keep only giving me half the time the mother stole back to me.
Incidents:
1. She has obeyed less than 50% of ALL orders.
2. She assaulted me at an exchange in front of the kids, then turned around and filed a PPO on me, claiming I assaulted her.
At the PPO hearing, my attorney got her to drop the charges, as long as my parents assist with pickups/drop offs (they live 4 hours away). I have footage of her kicking me from the exchange location (Sheriffs station) and the court never saw it.
3. She has hacked into my Facebook and Instagram account and harassed, defamed, slandered and impersonated me on 5 separate occasions, to which she
admitted to one time on my 2nd attorneys interrogatories. she posted sensitive information like support enforcement orders, saying I was a deadbeat. I am a musician and own a record label and this did effect my business.
4. She produced a document from a friend who works in daycare. That raised my Child Support to twice as much.
When I was able to get the doctors report, I saw for a period of almost a year, she admitted to having no daycare at doctors visits. She works from home. I view the daycare (or lack of) as foul play and potential fraud. Is this correct?
5. She is constantly trying to prove neglect. there is nothing so far I have noticed that she can get me for though.
Now Mother claims:
a. my kids smell like weed when they come home.
b. They come home with rashes (she blamed me for one from a visit I had almost 5 months ago)
c. She demands my kids are raised vegan but won't tell me what to feed them or what their favorite foods are. in the court order I am supposed to
let mother know any new foods introduced, and after just about every visit she has a problem with something I did. in the doctors notes it says she emailed saying she "needed a note"stating the kids were lactose intolerant. After reaching out several times, the doctor gave her a note saying the kids were allergic to cows milk. She says the kids are lactose intolerant because they are African-american, failing to realized her kids are bi-racial
d. she insists her children can't grow up in a "weed house". my home is spacious and you would never even know I grew unless you went downstairs.
She asked if she could have the kids during the week of her wedding. I said we will have to see how she behaves, because of how poorly she has been following the order made 4 months ago. She immediately filed a motion for parenting time during her wedding. I filed 5 parenting complaints on her since the settlement and we had one meeting (Friend of the Court grouped them together). They told her next time she will be showcaused (the next day she asked me for parenting time during the wedding).
Mother already told me face to face before we broke up, that if we did in fact break up, she couldn't raise kids under 2 separate households. Since then she has done just about everything in her power to keep my from the kids. She won't let me form the bond I need with them. I've known she was going to do just about everything
she has done from the start. She said:
a. I gave the kids herpes and hepatitis in the visitation center.
b. I am not allowed to bathe my kids
c. Nothing I feed them is appropriate and there are problems with them after every visit for weeks and sometimes every month
d. I am a pill dealer and can't be trusted around the children
Every question she asks me pertains to her case she is building in her head, or so she thinks. She keeps saying i admitted to my kids smelling
like weed, which just makes no sense because I would imagine the courts wouldn't care about that at all. I'm fighting this person with everything I have just to stay
in my children's lives and the courts and FOC have mentioned they have taken note of it. I come in the the court room every single time with an accordion binder full of papers lol. I have copies and backups of everything. I personally don't think she will be able to be the proper custodial parent. She won't be able to follow court orders, like telling me the kids favorite foods, handling exchanges, or anything else for that matter.
Next court date (motion for parenting time during her wedding):
1. There should be a custody change but its highly unlikely at this hearing. I at least want first right of refusal for daycare, but I think getting her to follow it would be impossible. Im still going to ask but I have no idea how the court would enforce it, as I see her pulling any stunt she can to keep me from seeing my kids and waste as much money as possible (I drive a truck and live 40 minutes away). Example: Saying the kids are at one daycare center, but when I get there, they aren't there.
2. I am going to suggest swapping my birthday week for her wedding weekend.
3. I'd also like to change the pickup location to the police station closest to me for all the inconvenience she has caused me driving so far and having her not show up.
Does anyone else have any suggestions for things I could do to make sure I can properly raise my children? I just want all the time I can get with them. I want to be with themevery step of the way. I want to teach them as much as I possibly can and enrich their lives in every possible way. The mother wants the exact opposite for them, as she only wants to do that for them. She is now marrying another white guy. This has already confused my kids on top of the inconsistencies with parenting time. The judge doesn't really act on anything until we both agree to it, and its just not working because the judge simply ins't enforcing the order. My child support is $900 for both kids. I made 20k a year for the last two years, due to all the unmanageability in my life because of her. She makes 65k a year. Im getting beat up pretty bad.Next Saturday visitation I have is my first overnight. I graduate to tier 2. and for 4 months I have overnights, then tier 3 is Wed-Fri and one weekend a month. I'll be amazed if we even make it there based on how she has been acting.I think her fiance talked some sense into her, along with the parenting time enforcement officer. I still am not sold on her straightening up though. She still doesn't think makeup time is necessary and just giving a doctors excuse is fine for missing a visitation. This has been so terrible and excruciating on my entire family and It just needs to stop. I can take her ignorance when we communicate on my family wizard. But I cannot take the lies and petty crimes she continues to commit freely. She needs to learn how to behave and co-parent but no one can force her to do that. I've never met someone so petty and willing to shoot herself in the foot.It's hard to watch someone chop their nose off despite their face, especially if I also have to pay for her mess every step of the way.Does anyone have any other suggestions on how to get my kids in my life more, and how to stop or manage all these problems I am having with Mother? I'm banking on the first right of refusal clause so I can pick my kids up from daycare and have them for the daytime if mother allows it after the clause it written in the order.
Thanks
I believe it is because she has a personality disorder like narcissism, malicious mother syndrome, bi-polar, who knows. As a precursor I am a felon. I had a drug problem when I was younger and got clean in 1999 and stayed clean until I started growing cannabis here a couple years ago. I don't drink or use drugs regularly, except cannabis.
We only knew each other for 2 months.
Narratives:
1. She read a conversation with my Father, to which he suggested I look into abortion and adoption. When Mother read this, she texted me and said that I mentioned abortion, which I did not...and told me to never call her again and I will never see my children.
2. Our first Friend of the Court meeting. I had recovered from a herniated disc and was on pain meds the emergency room prescribed. She found
out from a mutual friend I was on pills and got a court order for a hair drug test which I failed, as my last use was 1 1/2 months prior to the test.
As a result I was subjected to 45 weeks drug testing and AA meetings.
3. I am a licensed cannabis caregiver and she said I had mold growing in my home. I passed an air quality test
4. I have a large breed dog she wont stop complaining about. The kids have already bonded with the dog and they co-exist fine.
I started my visitations at Catholic Social Services. a visitation/exchange facility. After she embarrassed herself enough the judge cancelled the visitations
at CSS. We now meet at the police station. We had a settlement conference 10/16/19 and I was set up on a tiered
visitation schedule to which she violated the first 5 visits. The only reason she has obeyed this court order as of the last 3 recent visits is because
she wants to look good in front of the courts for our motion for parenting time during her wedding she just filed. The court date is a few weeks away and id like some suggestive input from this forum, as I have learned a lot already and thank you in advance. Since the beginning of my unsupervised visitations she has done
nothing but try and hustle me out of my parenting time, and for the most part succeeded. At FOC they keep only giving me half the time the mother stole back to me.
Incidents:
1. She has obeyed less than 50% of ALL orders.
2. She assaulted me at an exchange in front of the kids, then turned around and filed a PPO on me, claiming I assaulted her.
At the PPO hearing, my attorney got her to drop the charges, as long as my parents assist with pickups/drop offs (they live 4 hours away). I have footage of her kicking me from the exchange location (Sheriffs station) and the court never saw it.
3. She has hacked into my Facebook and Instagram account and harassed, defamed, slandered and impersonated me on 5 separate occasions, to which she
admitted to one time on my 2nd attorneys interrogatories. she posted sensitive information like support enforcement orders, saying I was a deadbeat. I am a musician and own a record label and this did effect my business.
4. She produced a document from a friend who works in daycare. That raised my Child Support to twice as much.
When I was able to get the doctors report, I saw for a period of almost a year, she admitted to having no daycare at doctors visits. She works from home. I view the daycare (or lack of) as foul play and potential fraud. Is this correct?
5. She is constantly trying to prove neglect. there is nothing so far I have noticed that she can get me for though.
Now Mother claims:
a. my kids smell like weed when they come home.
b. They come home with rashes (she blamed me for one from a visit I had almost 5 months ago)
c. She demands my kids are raised vegan but won't tell me what to feed them or what their favorite foods are. in the court order I am supposed to
let mother know any new foods introduced, and after just about every visit she has a problem with something I did. in the doctors notes it says she emailed saying she "needed a note"stating the kids were lactose intolerant. After reaching out several times, the doctor gave her a note saying the kids were allergic to cows milk. She says the kids are lactose intolerant because they are African-american, failing to realized her kids are bi-racial
d. she insists her children can't grow up in a "weed house". my home is spacious and you would never even know I grew unless you went downstairs.
She asked if she could have the kids during the week of her wedding. I said we will have to see how she behaves, because of how poorly she has been following the order made 4 months ago. She immediately filed a motion for parenting time during her wedding. I filed 5 parenting complaints on her since the settlement and we had one meeting (Friend of the Court grouped them together). They told her next time she will be showcaused (the next day she asked me for parenting time during the wedding).
Mother already told me face to face before we broke up, that if we did in fact break up, she couldn't raise kids under 2 separate households. Since then she has done just about everything in her power to keep my from the kids. She won't let me form the bond I need with them. I've known she was going to do just about everything
she has done from the start. She said:
a. I gave the kids herpes and hepatitis in the visitation center.
b. I am not allowed to bathe my kids
c. Nothing I feed them is appropriate and there are problems with them after every visit for weeks and sometimes every month
d. I am a pill dealer and can't be trusted around the children
Every question she asks me pertains to her case she is building in her head, or so she thinks. She keeps saying i admitted to my kids smelling
like weed, which just makes no sense because I would imagine the courts wouldn't care about that at all. I'm fighting this person with everything I have just to stay
in my children's lives and the courts and FOC have mentioned they have taken note of it. I come in the the court room every single time with an accordion binder full of papers lol. I have copies and backups of everything. I personally don't think she will be able to be the proper custodial parent. She won't be able to follow court orders, like telling me the kids favorite foods, handling exchanges, or anything else for that matter.
Next court date (motion for parenting time during her wedding):
1. There should be a custody change but its highly unlikely at this hearing. I at least want first right of refusal for daycare, but I think getting her to follow it would be impossible. Im still going to ask but I have no idea how the court would enforce it, as I see her pulling any stunt she can to keep me from seeing my kids and waste as much money as possible (I drive a truck and live 40 minutes away). Example: Saying the kids are at one daycare center, but when I get there, they aren't there.
2. I am going to suggest swapping my birthday week for her wedding weekend.
3. I'd also like to change the pickup location to the police station closest to me for all the inconvenience she has caused me driving so far and having her not show up.
Does anyone else have any suggestions for things I could do to make sure I can properly raise my children? I just want all the time I can get with them. I want to be with themevery step of the way. I want to teach them as much as I possibly can and enrich their lives in every possible way. The mother wants the exact opposite for them, as she only wants to do that for them. She is now marrying another white guy. This has already confused my kids on top of the inconsistencies with parenting time. The judge doesn't really act on anything until we both agree to it, and its just not working because the judge simply ins't enforcing the order. My child support is $900 for both kids. I made 20k a year for the last two years, due to all the unmanageability in my life because of her. She makes 65k a year. Im getting beat up pretty bad.Next Saturday visitation I have is my first overnight. I graduate to tier 2. and for 4 months I have overnights, then tier 3 is Wed-Fri and one weekend a month. I'll be amazed if we even make it there based on how she has been acting.I think her fiance talked some sense into her, along with the parenting time enforcement officer. I still am not sold on her straightening up though. She still doesn't think makeup time is necessary and just giving a doctors excuse is fine for missing a visitation. This has been so terrible and excruciating on my entire family and It just needs to stop. I can take her ignorance when we communicate on my family wizard. But I cannot take the lies and petty crimes she continues to commit freely. She needs to learn how to behave and co-parent but no one can force her to do that. I've never met someone so petty and willing to shoot herself in the foot.It's hard to watch someone chop their nose off despite their face, especially if I also have to pay for her mess every step of the way.Does anyone have any other suggestions on how to get my kids in my life more, and how to stop or manage all these problems I am having with Mother? I'm banking on the first right of refusal clause so I can pick my kids up from daycare and have them for the daytime if mother allows it after the clause it written in the order.
Thanks
