Military Deployment - Pick Guardian

[poysenivye]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

I need some advice for my husband on how he can name myself, his current spouse (together 5 years - had custody of his children since 04) as his conservator if he is deployed, instead of them staying with their birth mother. The children have done this once, and they suffered a lot of trauma (BM tried to commit suicide, beat her mother with a wire hanger in front of oldest child), and we got drug through court a lot. She tried to cite deployment as voluntary abandonment of his children and neglect. The children are back in our care, and we would like to make sure they stay in at least my care if he were to leave again.

 

[Just Blue]

What happened wit the criminal charges with the assault?

 

[poysenivye]

Nothing, the grandmother didn't say anything, I only found out because my oldest broke into tears about it one evening and wanted to know why it happened.

 

[Just Blue]

Nothing, the grandmother didn't say anything, I only found out because my oldest broke into tears about it one evening and wanted to know why it happened.

Then since GM never allerted the police it isn't relivent. Mom will get custody.

 

[CJane]

Nothing, the grandmother didn't say anything, I only found out because my oldest broke into tears about it one evening and wanted to know why it happened.

YOUR oldest? Is this Dad now?

In order to be able to infringe so thoroughly on Mom's Constitutional Right to parent her children, Dad would need a court order basically saying that she's unfit to care for the children in his (voluntary) absence and you're a fit and proper guardian to act in his (and her) stead.

In short? Probably not gonna happen.

 

[LocalRocket]

By the way, you cannot call her the "birth mother" unless you have legally adopted these kids. She is their MOTHER.

 

[Just Blue]

Read this members posting history...

 

[LocalRocket]

And OMG. I just read your previous posts. I advise others to do the same. I would think you'd be ashamed to even post this question.

 

[mom482]

if any of what you were alleging is true then dad could file for a court custody order allowing him to designate someone other than the mother to be the custodian. i know it has happened before - but the one i'm familiar with, mom allowed it. and when mom decided to be a mom years later instead of leaving stepmom to raise her child for her while dad was deployed......the courts let her even though there was a status quo of stepmom taking cutody in his absence. and mom wasn't real stellar, she lost custody because of some drug issues etc. not saying people cant rehabilitate, but if ever a court could have reasonably allowed dad to designate stepmom, it would have been in this case if nothing else because of status quo - but in fact when mom wanted to exercise her legal rights, they were put before a consideration of childs best interests (not saying it was in his best interests to stay w/ stepmom, but the court didn't even allow a hearing on the issue, they just stated that custody will go to mom should she desire it during his deployment and they didn't want to hear any reasoning otherwise because that's just 'how it works' legally.

 

[Proserpina]

if any of what you were alleging is true then dad could file for a court custody order allowing him to designate someone other than the mother to be the custodian. i know it has happened before - but the one i'm familiar with, mom allowed it. and when mom decided to be a mom years later instead of leaving stepmom to raise her child for her while dad was deployed......the courts let her even though there was a status quo of stepmom taking cutody in his absence
and mom wasn't real stellar, she lost custody because of some drug issues etc. not saying people cant rehabilitate, but if ever a court could have reasonably allowed dad to designate stepmom, it would have been in this case if nothing else because of status quo - but in fact when mom wanted to exercise her legal rights, they were put before a consideration of childs best interests (not saying it was in his best interests to stay w/ stepmom, but the court didn't even allow a hearing on the issue, they just stated that custody will go to mom should she desire it during his deployment and they didn't want to hear any reasoning otherwise because that's just 'how it works' legally.

Is this relevant?

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

Is this relevant?

check out her other posts... mostly drivel. And mostly sounding like the Hope character who has been asked by several people to close her mouth. OG (I think) told her to quit padding her post count with irrelevant crap... (I'll have to look to see who it was, but am pretty sure it was OG)

 

[mom482]

obviously i thought it was relevant or I wouldn't have posted it. I think if someone can open their minds or hear of a similar situation they will rethink wasting their time seeking something that is not going to be doable - and/or wreaking havoc on the 'birth mother' as she refers to her for something that is a waste of time. I'm of the opinion that some people respond better to scenarios of what someone else experienced rather than being 'told' someone else's facts of what is right or wrong.

 

[Proserpina]

obviously i thought it was relevant or I wouldn't have posted it. I think if someone can open their minds or hear of a similar situation they will rethink wasting their time seeking something that is not going to be doable - and/or wreaking havoc on the 'birth mother' as she refers to her for something that is a waste of time. I'm of the opinion that some people respond better to scenarios of what someone else experienced rather than being 'told' someone else's facts of what is right or wrong.

Except the case to which you're referring is completely different from that of the OP.

A minor point, I know.

 

[Ohiogal]

I love how she is the one who committed adultery with her now husband while both were in the military and slams mom every chance she gets but expects us just to buy into her innocense and how mom is evil. Not happening.

 

[poysenivye]

Okay...

Alright, well, I guess, thanks for the advice, I think...don't really know where all of that other stuff came from. Also, I only called her Birth Mom because that is what the court called her to distinguish between us. And, I referred to "the oldest" as "my oldest" because I have been raising them for the past almost 5 years. It's a habit. It's weird, people post on these things to get assistance from other people, and all I have noticed is that the habit on these forums is to tear these people down because of their legal ignorance, but of course we are ignorant, otherwise we wouldn't be posting. And of course people are going to argue if they read something that is different than what they want to read. That's human nature and coping with the relevant truth. MOM482, thanks for the scenario, that is better than...just not going to happen. Everyone else, cool down, take a breath, figure out another way to vent, and just help the people that need it.