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Military Divorce from Abusive Husband

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SarahLL

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Living in South Dakota, but the divorce is in southern California.

My husband is in the Navy and I have been trying to divorce him for over a year now. We were married for 12 days before I packed my car and left, while he was at work, for fear of my life. He filed for divorce 3 days after I left, while I was traveling to a friend's place in northern CA. We have had 3 hearings since then and he has not shown up for any of them. He also has not filed any required paperwork since his initial petition. Shortly after he had filed, he began to harrass me, my family and my friends with drunken phone calls and texts, stating that he would destroy me and bankrupt me by dragging the divorce out. I then immediately got a restraining order against him through the military. I also filed for a restraining order through the the Superior Court and was granted a TRO, but I was never able to get him served for the PRO, as he hides out on base where no one can serve him. I left the state of California after he had his mother (whom I had only met once, at a restaurant) begin to file bogus restraining orders against me in retaliation. Both of her ROs were denied, as the judge knew she was lying. I was then advised by an attorney, in a free consultation, to leave the state. I then moved to South Dakota.

I have no money. I spent what little I had trying to get as far away from my husband and his crazy mother as I can. I cannot afford an attorney or process servers. I have been trying to do all of this on my own and I just don't know how to finally get this man out of my life. I was told by the Family Law Facilitator that, due to his apparent abandonment of his petition, that I should ask the court to dismiss the case and file my own. The problem with that is that I cannot get him served with the paperwork as long as he hides out on base. The Navy refuses to help, other than putting military restraining orders on him. His ship was also decommissioned about 2 weeks ago, so I'm not even entirely sure of his whereabouts at the moment. At the same time, he deleted his Facebook account, most likely to make sure that I don't know where he is. I don't know what to do anymore. I have not requested any sort of spousal support, nor do I want anything of his. I just want him gone, but he is intentionally dragging this out.

Please help.
 
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What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Living in South Dakota, but the divorce is in southern California.

My husband is in the Navy and I have been trying to divorce him for over a year now. We were married for 12 days before I packed my car and left, while he was at work, for fear of my life. He filed for divorce 3 days after I left, while I was traveling to a friend's place in northern CA. We have had 3 hearings since then and he has not shown up for any of them. He also has not filed any required paperwork since his initial petition. Shortly after he had filed, he began to harrass me, my family and my friends with drunken phone calls and texts, stating that he would destroy me and bankrupt me by dragging the divorce out. I then immediately got a restraining order against him through the military. I also filed for a restraining order through the the Superior Court and was granted a TRO, but I was never able to get him served for the PRO, as he hides out on base where no one can serve him. I left the state of California after he had his mother (whom I had only met once, at a restaurant) begin to file bogus restraining orders against me in retaliation. Both of her ROs were denied, as the judge knew she was lying. I was then advised by an attorney, in a free consultation, to leave the state. I then moved to South Dakota.

I have no money. I spent what little I had trying to get as far away from my husband and his crazy mother as I can. I cannot afford an attorney or process servers. I have been trying to do all of this on my own and I just don't know how to finally get this man out of my life. I was told by the Family Law Facilitator that, due to his apparent abandonment of his petition, that I should ask the court to dismiss the case and file my own. The problem with that is that I cannot get him served with the paperwork as long as he hides out on base. The Navy refuses to help, other than putting military restraining orders on him. His ship was also decommissioned about 2 weeks ago, so I'm not even entirely sure of his whereabouts at the moment. At the same time, he deleted his Facebook account, most likely to make sure that I don't know where he is. I don't know what to do anymore. I have not requested any sort of spousal support, nor do I want anything of his. I just want him gone, but he is intentionally dragging this out.

Please help.
If you can show that you are legally married to a military member you are entitled to free legal advice on any military base. Contact the Staff Judge Advocate or Judge Advocate General office on the nearest base and make an appointment. Many legal offices have a walk-in day, no appointment required. Who have you been talking to in the Navy? A final resort if the Navy does not help, is contact your congressman or senator.
 

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