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Military Move

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What is the name of your state? :California


Hello. I separated from my ex in early 2014. At the time I was active duty in the military in a unit that would soon be called overseas and agreed to an every other weekend visitation for our then 3 year old daughter. I believed this to be in her best interest.

Since then, I have relocated to the east coast and am now apart of a unit that does not require deployment. Prior to leaving I contacted the mother asking we together come up with a plan to change custody. As it lies I have 25% I discussed many visitation options. Some of which were located online (custody xchange ect.) Mother refused to anything more than 3 days alone time.

Mother said she insists on flying here and staying local. She would allow me to see my daughter in the for a day or two and then take my daughter back. (I would be responsible for my daughters airfaire.)

The suggestion in laughable. Almost alienating. My now wife called attorneys using a womens prospective (she playing a mom who doesn't feel comfortable with out of state visitation) and every single lawyer told her she could not be that controlling.

Fast forward to mediation. And the mediator agreed with the mother. There is no cases of abuse, police reports, aside from being in training I dont miss days. What is the likelyhood that the court will accept this plan?
 


Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
You need an attorney in California if you want to have any real chance at successfully disputing the plan developed through mediation.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I am currently looking for one. But would the judge not look at that and question why my time is so limited?
Nobody can guess at what the mediator's report may say, and nobody can guess at what the judge will order. I suspect the judge may give the report a lot of weight.
 
The official report has not been released from the mediator. But with no abuse history, no missed visitation (aside from military obligation) I am just having a hard time wrapping my head in how 8 days a year is in the best interest of the child.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
The official report has not been released from the mediator. But with no abuse history, no missed visitation (aside from military obligation) I am just having a hard time wrapping my head in how 8 days a year is in the best interest of the child.
I sympathize with you, but the fact of the matter is that you have to aggressively fight for your rights and for the rights of the child. To do that from New York is going to require that you hire a local (California) attorney.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? :California


Hello. I separated from my ex in early 2014. At the time I was active duty in the military in a unit that would soon be called overseas and agreed to an every other weekend visitation for our then 3 year old daughter. I believed this to be in her best interest.

Since then, I have relocated to the east coast and am now apart of a unit that does not require deployment. Prior to leaving I contacted the mother asking we together come up with a plan to change custody. As it lies I have 25% I discussed many visitation options. Some of which were located online (custody xchange ect.) Mother refused to anything more than 3 days alone time.

Mother said she insists on flying here and staying local. She would allow me to see my daughter in the for a day or two and then take my daughter back. (I would be responsible for my daughters airfaire.)

The suggestion in laughable. Almost alienating. My now wife called attorneys using a womens prospective (she playing a mom who doesn't feel comfortable with out of state visitation) and every single lawyer told her she could not be that controlling.

Fast forward to mediation. And the mediator agreed with the mother. There is no cases of abuse, police reports, aside from being in training I dont miss days. What is the likelyhood that the court will accept this plan?
Judges normally take a mediator's recommendation very seriously. They can be challenged, but you would have to demonstrate that the mediator was biased.

If you have not spent much time with your daughter up until now, you would normally have to take things in phases, in order to allow the child to get used to spending time with you again. For example, if you have never spent more than 3 nights with the child, you are not going to suddenly get the whole summer. You might have to start out with one week at a time.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What is the name of your state? :California


Hello. I separated from my ex in early 2014. At the time I was active duty in the military in a unit that would soon be called overseas and agreed to an every other weekend visitation for our then 3 year old daughter. I believed this to be in her best interest.

Since then, I have relocated to the east coast and am now apart of a unit that does not require deployment. Prior to leaving I contacted the mother asking we together come up with a plan to change custody. As it lies I have 25% I discussed many visitation options. Some of which were located online (custody xchange ect.) Mother refused to anything more than 3 days alone time.

Mother said she insists on flying here and staying local. She would allow me to see my daughter in the for a day or two and then take my daughter back. (I would be responsible for my daughters airfaire.)

The suggestion in laughable. Almost alienating. My now wife called attorneys using a womens prospective (she playing a mom who doesn't feel comfortable with out of state visitation) and every single lawyer told her she could not be that controlling.

Fast forward to mediation. And the mediator agreed with the mother. There is no cases of abuse, police reports, aside from being in training I dont miss days. What is the likelyhood that the court will accept this plan?
Your now wife is overstepping. That in and of itself is a problem. As for the rest, how much time have you had with your daughter in one shot? Where on the east coast are you located? How often do you talk to your daughter (who is now 7 maybe)? You relocated so you should pay transportation for the child round trip for each visit. Why can't you relocate to California if you are NOT active duty military? Who was your child's teacher this past year? What were her grades? What doctor does she see? Can you answer those questions?
 

CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
Has the child even met your "now wife"?
The official report has not been released from the mediator. But with no abuse history, no missed visitation (aside from military obligation) I am just having a hard time wrapping my head in how 8 days a year is in the best interest of the child.
Because you agreed that it was in the best interest of the child.

Yes, your circumstances have changed and that likely warrants another look at the situation - but don't sit there and pretend to be baffled about something you actively chose.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Has the child even met your "now wife"?


Because you agreed that it was in the best interest of the child.

Yes, your circumstances have changed and that likely warrants another look at the situation - but don't sit there and pretend to be baffled about something you actively chose.
Remember, this is California mediation. There may not be an agreement. It can be a mediator's recommendation instead of an agreement.
 

HRZ

Senior Member
You chose a plan back under different circumstances, things have changd...that's a good reason to revisit order....as you post it, mom seems far too controlling...but your current wife has no roll and she needs to stop meddling ....and you best be using counsel in jurisdiction where this will be heard.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Remember, this is California mediation. There may not be an agreement. It can be a mediator's recommendation instead of an agreement.
It's also entirely possible for the judge to not follow the recommendation in whole or in part. The OP needs an attorney to represent his interests.
 

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