Milpers Manual Question

[ILOVEMYGSM3]

What is the name of your state? ca

its dictated in the milpers manual, (navy side), that we have a moral obligation to support our family...i currently send my soon to be ex wife $800, but in our divorce papers it says i give her $487, b/c thats what navy legal said to give. my command will not authorize the change in payment to her, even though NAVY LEGAL is the 1 who asked them to change it...now, my question is, since our divorce is due to her not wanting to leave her family, and her cheating(i'm in a no-fault state, so it's not like i'm using that in my divorce...but anyways, the milpers says that in the event of abandonment or adultery on her part, i only have to send money for my child...which is 1/4 of my base pay incl bah, but minus the $500 loan(mo. pymt) i was pretty much forced to giver her through the NMCRS...so it came to like $487...now, my command will not sign the waiver of support, even though i've given my navy legal atty the proof of her adultery, b/c she called to complain to my LPO...how can i go about getting this lowered? b/c the amount i'd send that Navy Legal advised, covers half of his daycare, and half of his monthly expenses, plus i provide full medical through tricare...can my command do this after navy legal dictated something different? who is right? NL or the command???

 

[rmet4nzkx]

What is the name of your state? ca

its dictated in the milpers manual, (navy side), that we have a moral obligation to support our family...i currently send my soon to be ex wife $800, but in our divorce papers it says i give her $487, b/c thats what navy legal said to give. my command will not authorize the change in payment to her, even though NAVY LEGAL is the 1 who asked them to change it...now, my question is, since our divorce is due to her not wanting to leave her family, and her cheating(i'm in a no-fault state, so it's not like i'm using that in my divorce...but anyways, the milpers says that in the event of abandonment or adultery on her part, i only have to send money for my child...which is 1/4 of my base pay incl bah, but minus the $500 loan(mo. pymt) i was pretty much forced to giver her through the NMCRS...so it came to like $487...now, my command will not sign the waiver of support, even though i've given my navy legal atty the proof of her adultery, b/c she called to complain to my LPO...how can i go about getting this lowered? b/c the amount i'd send that Navy Legal advised, covers half of his daycare, and half of his monthly expenses, plus i provide full medical through tricare...can my command do this after navy legal dictated something different? who is right? NL or the command???

Do you have tempoary support orders through the CA family court? Remember the child was born before you married and there is no paternity established yet. Perhaps Badapple40 will be able to answer your questions he is a JAG in the USAFR.

 

[fozzy2]

First of all, you said "i send her" 800 dollars a month. Is that a check you are writing yourself, or has your pay been garnished (i.e. deducted by the government before you ever get your hands on it)? Secondly, you say "soon to be ex-wife" and then say there are "divorce papers". Has your divorce been finalized, and if not then did you set the amount of interim support by agreement with your wife, or has a court ordered interim support?

You say that you do not want to pay support for your spouse because of her infidelity. Have you filed a waiver request to DFAS as outlined in MilPersMan 1754-030? Apparently you send the request to DFAS, your command does not send it. You must include "comments or recommendation" from your CO, but the decision is up to DFAS. (i.e. you do not need *approval* by your CO, he can recommend dissaproval, but DFAS gets to decide). You say the CO "will not sign" the waiver of support. Do you mean the he refuses to put anything down at all (even a recommendation for disapproval or merely a comment)? If the request is otherwise complete (including the evidence called for by the regulation) then I don't know why a command wouldn't at least write "no comment" on the form.

I guess the key question is: Is there simply a misunderstanding about who has to do what, or is your command intentionally "stonewalling" you to try and prevent your waiver request from ever getting to DFAS? It may well be that somone in the command thinks that you need "approval" from the CO, not just a "recommendation" (or a 'no comment').

 

[ILOVEMYGSM3]

actually this was over a month ago that i got the waiver

and yes its the 1 i got from dfas, and the proof i have was enough for my atty, however, you're correct, i do feel they are stonewalling...there are divorce papers filed here in ca, and in them, i did put that i give her $487 for child support ONLY...another curiosity i have, is that since i have filed my papers, doesnt that make my marriage a civil action, versus military? i read somewhere in the milpers that the navy has no part in a civil matter, so i would assume that since i have filed, it isnt really up to the military to dictate this any longer...or am i wrong?

i do not have "written correspondence" i have only the yahoo profiles that she and this person have, and the fact she's admitted to being pregnant by this individual...in fact it said that on her profile...my atty said that was enough...but my command wants all kinds of statements written by me and others "proving" this...dfas didnt ask for them, my command did...apparently, thats part of the instructions for it, which i knew, but i'm doing my best not to bring others around us, as in friends and family into this...

 

[rmet4nzkx]

and yes its the 1 i got from dfas, and the proof i have was enough for my atty, however, you're correct, i do feel they are stonewalling...there are divorce papers filed here in ca, and in them, i did put that i give her $487 for child support ONLY...another curiosity i have, is that since i have filed my papers, doesnt that make my marriage a civil action, versus military? i read somewhere in the milpers that the navy has no part in a civil matter, so i would assume that since i have filed, it isnt really up to the military to dictate this any longer...or am i wrong?

i do not have "written correspondence" i have only the yahoo profiles that she and this person have, and the fact she's admitted to being pregnant by this individual...in fact it said that on her profile...my atty said that was enough...but my command wants all kinds of statements written by me and others "proving" this...dfas didnt ask for them, my command did...apparently, thats part of the instructions for it, which i knew, but i'm doing my best not to bring others around us, as in friends and family into this...

On your other post you stated that the man who got her pregnant is also military and that his comand was notified and he is being separated for other infractions, and that she has visited him in February, but there is no proof that she is actually pregnant. While it is good to post your military questions on th emilitary forum, you really need to provide the same set of facts on each thread especially when you are sharing a screenname with another person. Right now your "child Support" is voluntary, there is no court ordered child support, no paternity established for this child not born of your marriage. YOu need a DNA test and a CA licensed attorney to assist you. You may have an allotment for her as your wife, I believe that is what you are referring to, that is not court ordered spousal support or child support. You may need to amend your divorce papers, you really need an attorney as you have already been advised, the military legal aid may not be enough for you to file your own papers and represent yourself, perhaps you may want to also consult the family law facilitator's office in the county where you filed. It is very important you establish paternity by DNA for that child and then YOU figure out where you are going to file for custody IF it is your child. How can your commander insist you pay child support for a child that isn't legally yours or for who paternity hasn't been established? You acted in good faith thus far, but now you have knowledge otherwise of your wife's fraud and danger to the child. While Adultery isn't an issue in CA per se, it is in the military and since this child isn't included in your CA divorce but you also have the issues of child endangerment and custodial interference made more complicated in that there are paternity/custody & jurisdiction issues unresolved. THe Yahoo profile and communication records can be subpoenaed.

 

[ILOVEMYGSM3]

i know i didnt write the exact same thing...

i was tryin not to cut and paste....but yes i do share this s/n with someone else...ok well that pretty much answered the question i had...thanks very much

 

[GSM3CAP081978]

ok i got my own name

so i guess maybe you'll be able to fish me out from her posts...

 

[rmet4nzkx]

so i guess maybe you'll be able to fish me out from her posts...

If you are going to get your own screenname then go to the other threads and reference your new screenname.

 

[ILOVEMYGSM3]

lol i'm lost

do u mean b/c we have some of the same characters? or b/c i'd used her name when i originally posted??? lol sorry i guess i need a translation, i can be slow sometimes