What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MI
Son is 16. Previous trouble with law. Incorrigibility charge 2 (3?) years ago that resulted in diversion. He completed that successfully. Domestic Violence charge in August of 2013. The prosecutor asked referee to drop it, which he did. When he did, he told son something along the lines of if he's disrespectful or has more issues at home, I (mom) can come back into the court and ask that they reopen the case. *That's a bit fuzzy in my memory. Son remembers it basically the same way. (DV was incident against me.)
Weekend in November I'm home paying homage to my dead daughter as it was the date she passed when the cops beat on my door. Son (during dad's parenting time) had been at a party drinking. People at the party say son brought the booze. Son's gf winds up in hospital in serious condition. Luckily, she didn't die.
He's got a MIP charge, as well as now ex-gf. I am stepping all the way back and saying what'll be, will be. I do not intend to hire any lawyer or look for any way to get him off this. Dad, on the other hand, is talking and plotting ways to get son out of this (no surprise for those that know the history). I believe he's hiring an attorney and am aware he and son are putting heads together to figure out how to get him off on this charge. I vehemently disagree with this strategy. Son told me he's not worried because they have "no way of proving it." I'm relatively certain he told cops on the phone the night they came to my door that he'd been drinking. He certainly did tell me that he had.
My questions are:
How can dad hire atty. without discussing it with me first, given that we have joint legal custody? I sent him an email yesterday telling my intent. He said he's "open to discussion" and that I should call him if I want. I haven't. I let him know my intent. I responded by reiterating my intent and told him that if he has a difference in opinion, we need to mutually attempt to come an agreement and that if I don't hear back from him, I'll assume feels the same. Yet I believe he's planning to actually pull son from school to meet with lawyer. So, question is how to deal with dad not honoring the joint legal part of our custody agreement? Can I object to the choice of lawyer? *Dad's relatives would be paying for it, so I couldn't object from the financial perspective. I object with anything more than a court appointed atty. as I don't think it's necessary and sends the completely wrong message to son. What can I do?
Secondly, how will his DV charge and incorrigibility charge play a role in this? Will this make him not a first time offender in the eyes of the law for MIP punishment, or is first time offender relative only to MIP charges? For the record, believing there's a ton of planning and plotting going on with dad behind my back, I did tell son that if there is anything shady going on that I am unaware of and I understood the admonishment from referee regarding issues/disrespect at home, I will not hesitate to go back in and ask for that case to be reopened. And I meant it.
For the record, I told son I'm not all about getting him off on this. I am about making sure his rights are protected (even though he then chose to ignore what I said by talking to the liason officer at his school about the incident). I told son if he wanted to try to help himself in this, he'd go get a job, join up for every club in school he could, volunteer somewhere and take an alcohol education course on his own - before the judge orders it and be a model citizen at home so if the judge were to ask me I could say he's been very respectful, etc. He's chosen only to do the first thing and to plot with dad how to get off on the rest.
Thanks in advance.
Son is 16. Previous trouble with law. Incorrigibility charge 2 (3?) years ago that resulted in diversion. He completed that successfully. Domestic Violence charge in August of 2013. The prosecutor asked referee to drop it, which he did. When he did, he told son something along the lines of if he's disrespectful or has more issues at home, I (mom) can come back into the court and ask that they reopen the case. *That's a bit fuzzy in my memory. Son remembers it basically the same way. (DV was incident against me.)
Weekend in November I'm home paying homage to my dead daughter as it was the date she passed when the cops beat on my door. Son (during dad's parenting time) had been at a party drinking. People at the party say son brought the booze. Son's gf winds up in hospital in serious condition. Luckily, she didn't die.
He's got a MIP charge, as well as now ex-gf. I am stepping all the way back and saying what'll be, will be. I do not intend to hire any lawyer or look for any way to get him off this. Dad, on the other hand, is talking and plotting ways to get son out of this (no surprise for those that know the history). I believe he's hiring an attorney and am aware he and son are putting heads together to figure out how to get him off on this charge. I vehemently disagree with this strategy. Son told me he's not worried because they have "no way of proving it." I'm relatively certain he told cops on the phone the night they came to my door that he'd been drinking. He certainly did tell me that he had.
My questions are:
How can dad hire atty. without discussing it with me first, given that we have joint legal custody? I sent him an email yesterday telling my intent. He said he's "open to discussion" and that I should call him if I want. I haven't. I let him know my intent. I responded by reiterating my intent and told him that if he has a difference in opinion, we need to mutually attempt to come an agreement and that if I don't hear back from him, I'll assume feels the same. Yet I believe he's planning to actually pull son from school to meet with lawyer. So, question is how to deal with dad not honoring the joint legal part of our custody agreement? Can I object to the choice of lawyer? *Dad's relatives would be paying for it, so I couldn't object from the financial perspective. I object with anything more than a court appointed atty. as I don't think it's necessary and sends the completely wrong message to son. What can I do?
Secondly, how will his DV charge and incorrigibility charge play a role in this? Will this make him not a first time offender in the eyes of the law for MIP punishment, or is first time offender relative only to MIP charges? For the record, believing there's a ton of planning and plotting going on with dad behind my back, I did tell son that if there is anything shady going on that I am unaware of and I understood the admonishment from referee regarding issues/disrespect at home, I will not hesitate to go back in and ask for that case to be reopened. And I meant it.
For the record, I told son I'm not all about getting him off on this. I am about making sure his rights are protected (even though he then chose to ignore what I said by talking to the liason officer at his school about the incident). I told son if he wanted to try to help himself in this, he'd go get a job, join up for every club in school he could, volunteer somewhere and take an alcohol education course on his own - before the judge orders it and be a model citizen at home so if the judge were to ask me I could say he's been very respectful, etc. He's chosen only to do the first thing and to plot with dad how to get off on the rest.
Thanks in advance.