modification of existing custody agreement

[doorz]

See, there's your problem. In your quest to have a "do-over" on your court case, you want to rock the boat with kiddo's schooling, even though you acknowledge that the school is perfectly acceptable. In other words, the child's best interest is taking a back seek to your own desires.

i'm going to disagree with you on this one
i am a physician so i have a lot of schooling and i understand the school is more than how well you do in reading or math
each family has certain values and beliefs and i can't allow a school to dictate those on my family
there are better schools in the area but this one happens to be the closest
within 15 min there is one of the best schools in the whole state
the second child hasn't even started 1st grade and i have been arguing schools with her for more than 1 year
the one thing i learned is what may seem obvious to you as a lawyer may not be as obvious to me

i have compromised, i have taken them to school even though my opinion wasn't heard
i have attended teacher conferences and i even volunteer in the school at times
as a parent i think there is a superior option within 15 min - however even with joint legal i don't know how to get my voice heard
can i just sign them up somewhere else ? what is the answer?


also there is a difference in childs best interest and my own desires and this is relevant to the same case
the children spending 5 nights a week every 2 months with a nanny while i'm down the road and ready and willing is not in their best interest in any way but how do you prove harm ?
isn't it obvious its better to be with dad ?
you can say try to get more time - i did - they said agreement says any time and place mutual agreeable therefor even if i have them more time thats not a significant change

could you imagine how i feel when i drop them off to the mothers house at 7 pm and she's not there and some stranger spends the night with them and gets them ready for school in the morning just because they are doing " fine " academically ?


so even though everyone in the world would agree time with dad is better than time with nanny first you have to prove change in circumstances then you can address parent's parenting ability

deposition documents say she has no problem with the father as a parent and no attempt to discredit him in any way
she simply wants to limit his time because she can


i don't know the law as i mentioned i want to spend more time with my kids
and yes i am grasping at straws and yes i would do anything
the time i am requesting would only limit caregivers time it would not even limit the mothers time

 

[Zigner]

You already acknowledge (in this thread) that you have no problem with the school.

 

[doorz]

You already acknowledge (in this thread) that you have no problem with the school.

academically !!! yes no problem with academics
i have problems with the religious teachings - does that not count ?

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Unless they are forcing the students to believe teachings in some way, no it really doesn't count.

 

[doorz]

Unless they are forcing the students to believe teachings in some way, no it really doesn't count.

interesting perspective

i guess maybe i should rethink / reconsider this particular perspective
thanks

 

[Zigner]

academically !!! yes no problem with academics
i have problems with the religious teachings - does that not count ?

If it did, you would have raised it as an objection in court.

I forget...were you represented?

 

[doorz]

If it did, you would have raised it as an objection in court.

I forget...were you represented?

i was told ( by 2 different lawyers ) not to bring it up in court because its a conservative county / conservative judge - was that bad advice?

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

No that was probably good advice.

 

[doorz]

i did want to see what zinger thinks about this piece of information

anyone can weigh in as well

one of the issues i have with the school is its size
its a very small school k-12 250 students total
now i do agree small class sizes in the first few grades is awesome and everyone is looking for that but what if i told you the graduating class was 4 students ?
i don't even think there was a class that had more than 10 kids in the last 10 years
average graduating class 4-6

so what do you guys think
is having 4 kids in 12th grade scoring well on a standardized test more important that developing socially/ emotionally as a teenager?

to me that is not providing my child with a well rounded education , as i mentioned earlier school is more than a test

 

[Zigner]

I'm sorry, but since when is it on the school to provide social and emotional development to an almost-adult?

 

[doorz]

they don't provide it , the kids spend half their time there not everything is provided by the school or the parents
you have to place them in the right or best environment to succeed and develop

and sometimes that environment is not measured by test scores

 

[Zigner]

they don't provide it , the kids spend half their time there not everything is provided by the school or the parents
you have to place them in the right or best environment to succeed and develop

and sometimes that environment is not measured by test scores

You miss the point. It's NOT the school's job to do that. Sure, they may participate in it, but it is ultimately the parents' job to do that.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

A few minutes ago it was all about religion. Now it is about socialization. With two good private schools you clearly live somewhere that has a number of opportunities for your kids to socialize outside of school.

Smartest thing I did as a teenager was that after 9th grade I dated nobody that went to my school. I dated girls from neighboring school districts. Grades went up. No drama at school life was about as close to perfect as it could get. Of course gasoline was cheaper then but then cars didn't get as good gas mileage either.

 

[LdiJ]

i did want to see what zinger thinks about this piece of information

anyone can weigh in as well

one of the issues i have with the school is its size
its a very small school k-12 250 students total
now i do agree small class sizes in the first few grades is awesome and everyone is looking for that but what if i told you the graduating class was 4 students ?
i don't even think there was a class that had more than 10 kids in the last 10 years
average graduating class 4-6

so what do you guys think
is having 4 kids in 12th grade scoring well on a standardized test more important that developing socially/ emotionally as a teenager?

to me that is not providing my child with a well rounded education , as i mentioned earlier school is more than a test

Many people would consider that to be ideal. Lots of one on one attention for the students.

 

[HRZ]

Strictly as a layman ...if one of the parents was not able to be there at assigned times then why was not a right of first refusal sought before the use of a 3d party / nanny