Mom seems to be relocating?

[Hd1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? N J

We share custody and equal parenting time of our son. This agreement is based on us living in the same town and outlined in a court order.

I'm the father. Mom seems to living in a neighboring state (an hour away) but still owns her home in town. I'm concerned that she's positioning herself to move with our son by spending all her parenting time there.

She seems to be breaking our agreement by living an hour away in a neighboring state. Is there anything I can do?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? N J

We share custody and equal parenting time of our son. This agreement is based on us living in the same town and outlined in a court order.

I'm the father. Mom seems to living in a neighboring state (an hour away) but still owns her home in town. I'm concerned that she's positioning herself to move with our son by spending all her parenting time there.

She seems to be breaking our agreement by living an hour away in a neighboring state. Is there anything I can do?

How will this affect your parenting time?

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? N J

We share custody and equal parenting time of our son. This agreement is based on us living in the same town and outlined in a court order.

I'm the father. Mom seems to living in a neighboring state (an hour away) but still owns her home in town. I'm concerned that she's positioning herself to move with our son by spending all her parenting time there.

She seems to be breaking our agreement by living an hour away in a neighboring state. Is there anything I can do?

You can't force her to stay in the same place and, frankly, an hour isn't all that far away.

What concerns you about the move?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? N J

We share custody and equal parenting time of our son. This agreement is based on us living in the same town and outlined in a court order.

I'm the father. Mom seems to living in a neighboring state (an hour away) but still owns her home in town. I'm concerned that she's positioning herself to move with our son by spending all her parenting time there.

She seems to be breaking our agreement by living an hour away in a neighboring state. Is there anything I can do?

Has her possible move affected your parenting time? His school attendance?

ETA: Speedy and Speedier!

 

[Hd1]

Equal parenting time will not work at this distance when our son is in school.

We went through a pretty lengthy, horrible, and unnecessary custody battle to get to our current arrangement. It started out very similar to this, she moved and tried to establish our son in a different state then we had fight it out. Because of that the parenting evaluation recommended me as parent of primary residence and that we live in close proximity to maintain equal parenting time.

I'm looking for advice if I have any right to keep our son in this state, maintain status quo, and avoid another custody issue supported by her attempting to establish our son in a different state again.

 

[Proserpina]

Equal parenting time will not work at this distance when our son is in school.

We went through a pretty lengthy, horrible, and unnecessary custody battle to get to our current arrangement. It started out very similar to this, she moved and tried to establish our son in a different state then we had fight it out. Because of that the parenting evaluation recommended me as parent of primary residence and that we live in close proximity to maintain equal parenting time.

I'm looking for advice if I have any right to keep our son in this state, maintain status quo, and avoid another custody issue supported by her attempting to establish our son in a different state again.

You don't have the right to unilaterally do anything without approval from the court and you may have a problem which has been alluded to earlier; in neighboring states, an hour may not be seen as a drastic change by the court. On the other hand, it could also be seen as a blatant attempt to usurp your parenting time.

I do wonder though, what would you do if she moved an hour away in-state?

 

[LdiJ]

You don't have the right to unilaterally do anything without approval from the court and you may have a problem which has been alluded to earlier; in neighboring states, an hour may not be seen as a drastic change by the court. On the other hand, it could also be seen as a blatant attempt to usurp your parenting time.

I do wonder though, what would you do if she moved an hour away in-state?

The problem would be the same when the child is in school.

Dad, I think that you are borrowing trouble at this point in time. Mom already tried that and did not get away with it, and there is little reason to believe that she would actually think she could get away with it this time. I suspect, since she has kept her home in your town, that she intends to continue residing there, at least during her parenting time, during the school year.

 

[Hd1]

I understand to not make a significant change without approval from the court, that would also look bad to our son. Isn't this what she is doing by relocating our son and living much father away and in a different state without duscussing it or getting approval from the court?

That's why I'm seeking advice on how to approach this and what my rights are to make sure that her unilateral move very similar to what was described in our parenting eval as not recommended with equal parenting time is not seen as accepted by me but contested within reason.

Both locations, my home and her relocation, would make equal parenting time very uncomfortable for our son and difficult if not impossible for us during the school year which is why the parenting eval recommended living closer for us to continue equal parenting time. Currently it's excluding him from summer camp during her time.. not a show stopper probably but the inconstancy for him concerns me.

I would still have this concern if it were an in-state move but out of state does make some difference....

 

[Proserpina]

I understand to not make a significant change without approval from the court, that would also look bad to our son. Isn't this what she is doing by relocating our son and living much father away and in a different state without duscussing it or getting approval from the court?

If that's what she actually does then yes, she's in the wrong. But ...

That's why I'm seeking advice on how to approach this and what my rights are to make sure that her unilateral move very similar to what was described in our parenting eval as not recommended with equal parenting time is not seen as accepted by me but contested within reason.

Here's the problem. NJ does (if not by statute, by practice) consider neighboring state moves a little differently from across-the-country moves. They typically don't consider it a crime to move to a neighboring state without permission, either. In other words, you may find it more difficult to block the move than you realize.

Both locations, my home and her relocation, would make equal parenting time very uncomfortable for our son and difficult if not impossible for us which is why the parenting eval recommended living closer for us to continue equal parenting time.

If it's feasible, then obviously parents living close together is usually the best thing for the child. But note I said "if it's feasible" ... if one parent needs to relocate for better work opportunities, or for a few other decent reasons (as opposed to "I'm moving with my new Internet boyfriend who I haven't met in person yet but he's reeeeeal nice") it's not reasonable to expect the parents to remain local to each other, nor is it reasonable to expect one parent to follow the other if the other moves.

I would still have this concern if it were an in-state move but out of state does make some difference....

Alas, not really much difference in NJ.

What you DO have is more or less a 50/50 schedule and this could be the deciding factor. If she does move, then you can absolutely file to modify the current agreement based upon her relocation. On the other hand, if an hour is going to be a huge deal for you regardless of whether it's in- or out-of-state, the court just might consider that in and of itself unreasonable (on your part, ironically).

The final decision may not be in your favor, and I think you need to speak to a local attorney ASAP to discuss your options.

 

[LdiJ]

If that's what she actually does then yes, she's in the wrong. But ...



Here's the problem. NJ does (if not by statute, by practice) consider neighboring state moves a little differently from across-the-country moves. They typically don't consider it a crime to move to a neighboring state without permission, either. In other words, you may find it more difficult to block the move than you realize.



If it's feasible, then obviously parents living close together is usually the best thing for the child. But note I said "if it's feasible" ... if one parent needs to relocate for better work opportunities, or for a few other decent reasons (as opposed to "I'm moving with my new Internet boyfriend who I haven't met in person yet but he's reeeeeal nice") it's not reasonable to expect the parents to remain local to each other, nor is it reasonable to expect one parent to follow the other if the other moves.



Alas, not really much difference in NJ.

What you DO have is more or less a 50/50 schedule and this could be the deciding factor. If she does move, then you can absolutely file to modify the current agreement based upon her relocation. On the other hand, if an hour is going to be a huge deal for you regardless of whether it's in- or out-of-state, the court just might consider that in and of itself unreasonable (on your part, ironically).

The final decision may not be in your favor, and I think you need to speak to a local attorney ASAP to discuss your options.

I agree with all of this an will add, as a repeat, that if mom intends to move back and forth between homes, so that she can maintain her parenting time and still be in the other location for part of the time, then you have nothing at all...because nothing will be changing for your son, during the school year.