money grabbing family

[Fedupwithfam]

were in PA. my mom-in-law passed Jan 9th, and we buried her shortly after, then all hell broke loose. Ive been her caregiver for almost 8 years unpaid along with my husband her eldest son, i turned down work opportunities because no one else stepped forward.
MIL's hubby lives overseas, his immigration to USA got denied so he never came here, offered no assistance monetary or otherwise. Now im dealing with MIL's toxic family who forced their way into the house to rummage through paperwork, they were looking for life insurance polices and the will (they never found it), we had to get FIL to sign a waiver so we could get her buried as he cant come here, so my hubby could deal with his moms burial with dignity.
So since they (MIL's fam) couldnt find the will and found they were not beneficiaries, one of them slapped us with an eviction notice a week after MIL died ( different debate ill get to that one later).
I am waiting on death certificates to sort out the payment to the funeral home, amd stressed out beyond belief, hubby is now on meds as hes close to a breakdown and now FIL is demanding a copy of the will (we havent had it read yet!!!), copies of the insurance and policies and is complaining about hubby getting money from his late mother. I am sorely tempted to send a bill for my time as her caregiver to FIL since he yelling he wants 'transparency' in her affairs, yet she never sent him copies of any of these. Should i be sending him copies of these policies and will, my gut tells me hes trying to be a pain in the butt and im battling him and MIL's fam who are vultures

 

[adjusterjack]

It's obvious that you and your husband know nothing about probating an estate. I'll give you some of the basics.

1 - You don't have to have the will "read." You read it yourself.
2 - Who does the will nominate as executor or representative of her estate? Is it your husband?
3 - If it's your husband you get his butt down to the probate court (Court of Common Pleas, I think) and have him sign up to be representative of the estate.
4 - Once he gets his court papers, he is in complete control and can tell everybody else where to go while he is handling things.

If he doesn't know what to do after that he needs to get a lawyer involved.

 

[Zigner]

were in PA. my mom-in-law passed Jan 9th, and we buried her shortly after, then all hell broke loose. Ive been her caregiver for almost 8 years unpaid along with my husband her eldest son, i turned down work opportunities because no one else stepped forward.
MIL's hubby lives overseas, his immigration to USA got denied so he never came here, offered no assistance monetary or otherwise. Now im dealing with MIL's toxic family who forced their way into the house to rummage through paperwork, they were looking for life insurance polices and the will (they never found it), we had to get FIL to sign a waiver so we could get her buried as he cant come here, so my hubby could deal with his moms burial with dignity.
So since they (MIL's fam) couldnt find the will and found they were not beneficiaries, one of them slapped us with an eviction notice a week after MIL died ( different debate ill get to that one later).
I am waiting on death certificates to sort out the payment to the funeral home, amd stressed out beyond belief, hubby is now on meds as hes close to a breakdown and now FIL is demanding a copy of the will (we havent had it read yet!!!), copies of the insurance and policies and is complaining about hubby getting money from his late mother. I am sorely tempted to send a bill for my time as her caregiver to FIL since he yelling he wants 'transparency' in her affairs, yet she never sent him copies of any of these. Should i be sending him copies of these policies and will, my gut tells me hes trying to be a pain in the butt and im battling him and MIL's fam who are vultures

Absent an agreement to be paid, it would be wholly inappropriate for you to send any sort of "bill" for your time caring for your mother-in-law. In fact, that would put you firmly in the "vulture" category.

 

[Fedupwithfam]

thank you for the feedback and i know, im still grieving at this point, and well of course we know nothing about that we only lost his mom 2 weeks ago, we are in contact with his moms attorney who has the original will, we are still waiting for the death certificate to enact this, as for the executor, I have been named as that, I am seeking his guidnace on what to do, I came here as more of an outreach for info, but i can see that this is not the place to find it or find assistance, the whole billing my FIL was more of an ask since hes overseas has never ever come to the us, and is now demanding copies of life insurance payments that are not even named for him. thanks anyway for the advice.

 

[adjusterjack]

as for the executor, I have been named as that, I am seeking his guidnace on what to do,

Call the lawyer up and make an appointment to pick up the original will so you can file it with the court. It's your job now. The longer you wait, the worse the family hassles are going to be.

I came here as more of an outreach for info

You got some.

 

[FlyingRon]

3 - If it's your husband you get his butt down to the probate court (Court of Common Pleas, I think) and have him sign up to be representative of the estate.

Actually, if he has the will, he should take it to the "Clerk of the Orphan's Court." The Orphan's Court is indeed now a division of Common Pleas. Forms and other info here: http://www.pacourts.us/forms/for-the-public/orphans-court-forms

 

[LdiJ]

thank you for the feedback and i know, im still grieving at this point, and well of course we know nothing about that we only lost his mom 2 weeks ago, we are in contact with his moms attorney who has the original will, we are still waiting for the death certificate to enact this, as for the executor, I have been named as that, I am seeking his guidnace on what to do, I came here as more of an outreach for info, but i can see that this is not the place to find it or find assistance, the whole billing my FIL was more of an ask since hes overseas has never ever come to the us, and is now demanding copies of life insurance payments that are not even named for him. thanks anyway for the advice.

Only the executor of the will (whose appointment needs to be formalized by a judge) could evict you from the home if she owned the home. Who is the family member who is trying to evict you from the home?

 

[Dandy Don]

Please answer the question about which family member is attempting to evict you. Is that person's name on the deed/title--do they have the legal authority to evict you? Is there an outstanding mortgage on the home? Would you or your husband eventually be willing to make an offer to buy the home?

You can tell whoever you want to that if a person is not named as a beneficiary in the will, that the executor is NOT legally obligated to send a copy to anyone who is not named in the will. After you have filed it with the court, it will be public record and anyone who wants to get a copy then can get it from there. The same thing is true about the life insurance policies and the beneficiary designations.

In the interest of smoothing things over and trying to bring a little more peace, if you wanted to provide them with copies of that information, please do so.

Thank you for being kindhearted and selfless enough to provide homecare. The only reason you can't be compensated for it now is because you did not have a signed agreement previously.

 

[not2cleverRed]

were in PA. my mom-in-law passed Jan 9th, and we buried her shortly after, then all hell broke loose. Ive been her caregiver for almost 8 years unpaid along with my husband her eldest son, i turned down work opportunities because no one else stepped forward.
MIL's hubby lives overseas, his immigration to USA got denied so he never came here, offered no assistance monetary or otherwise. Now im dealing with MIL's toxic family who forced their way into the house to rummage through paperwork, they were looking for life insurance polices and the will (they never found it), we had to get FIL to sign a waiver so we could get her buried as he cant come here, so my hubby could deal with his moms burial with dignity.
So since they (MIL's fam) couldnt find the will and found they were not beneficiaries, one of them slapped us with an eviction notice a week after MIL died ( different debate ill get to that one later).
I am waiting on death certificates to sort out the payment to the funeral home, amd stressed out beyond belief, hubby is now on meds as hes close to a breakdown and now FIL is demanding a copy of the will (we havent had it read yet!!!), copies of the insurance and policies and is complaining about hubby getting money from his late mother. I am sorely tempted to send a bill for my time as her caregiver to FIL since he yelling he wants 'transparency' in her affairs, yet she never sent him copies of any of these. Should i be sending him copies of these policies and will, my gut tells me hes trying to be a pain in the butt and im battling him and MIL's fam who are vultures

Upon what basis are they evicting you?