I received a phone call today from my daughters sister. Some of you know my story on this but here is a brief recap:
My ex moved out of our home in Florida 3 days after our daughter was born. She moved while I was at work and went back to her parents in North Carolina. I last saw her 5 months later at Christmas and was told then that I would never see her again. My ex then promptly dissapeared. It took me almost 11 years to find her as she moved often. Once she remarried she could not just up and move anymore and I finally got her address. I was then served with papers to terminate my rights and that case was dismissed by the judge after 2 hours of testimony. I basically let her and her family get on the stand and lie thru thoer teeth then I showed all of my proof that they were lieing.
After court I requested to sit down with my ex, her husband, and my daughter to talk and my ex refused and again stated I will not be allowed to see her. My daughter was now 14 at the time and by the time I saved the money for an attorney she was 15. After getting some suggestions on here and other sites I decided not to push it because I did not want to traumatize her by just showing up in her life after all this time, I decided to wait till she contacted me if she wanted to.
Well it seems that day has come. Her sister called me because it seems my ex has told my daughter all this time that I did not want her and she was scared to call. Although she will be 16 this summer and from what I was told she is quite mature, I still do not want to throw to much info at her at one time.
My question are:
1. She is only 15 now so when I go there next weekend to see her at her sisters it will be behind her mothers back and I currently have no court orders for visitation, Can I get in trouble for going to see her if her mother finds out? I told her sister she should tell her mother what she is planning on doing but it seems she is scared to do that to.
2. I have 4 boxes of items from court papers to letters and phone records and many other items for the last 15 years where I have tried to find and contact her, should I bring it all and see how much she wants to consume at once or just bring some relevant papers and letters that I have written over the years.
3. I do not want to bad mouth her mother (even though I think she deserves it) because she is her mother and she did raise her. So what is a good way to go about it without sounding like her mother is a terrible person.
4. I have an online journal that I have been keeping for about 5 years now and am thinking of giving her the address to it so that she can read it before I get there, however it has a lot of info and personal stuff on it. Do you think this would be a good idea.
My concern is legally since there was never any visitation papers drawn up thru the courts(only the divorce papers giving the ex sole custody) can I go to jail if I show up there. I do not need to have my daughter see me getting arrested.
My ex moved out of our home in Florida 3 days after our daughter was born. She moved while I was at work and went back to her parents in North Carolina. I last saw her 5 months later at Christmas and was told then that I would never see her again. My ex then promptly dissapeared. It took me almost 11 years to find her as she moved often. Once she remarried she could not just up and move anymore and I finally got her address. I was then served with papers to terminate my rights and that case was dismissed by the judge after 2 hours of testimony. I basically let her and her family get on the stand and lie thru thoer teeth then I showed all of my proof that they were lieing.
After court I requested to sit down with my ex, her husband, and my daughter to talk and my ex refused and again stated I will not be allowed to see her. My daughter was now 14 at the time and by the time I saved the money for an attorney she was 15. After getting some suggestions on here and other sites I decided not to push it because I did not want to traumatize her by just showing up in her life after all this time, I decided to wait till she contacted me if she wanted to.
Well it seems that day has come. Her sister called me because it seems my ex has told my daughter all this time that I did not want her and she was scared to call. Although she will be 16 this summer and from what I was told she is quite mature, I still do not want to throw to much info at her at one time.
My question are:
1. She is only 15 now so when I go there next weekend to see her at her sisters it will be behind her mothers back and I currently have no court orders for visitation, Can I get in trouble for going to see her if her mother finds out? I told her sister she should tell her mother what she is planning on doing but it seems she is scared to do that to.
2. I have 4 boxes of items from court papers to letters and phone records and many other items for the last 15 years where I have tried to find and contact her, should I bring it all and see how much she wants to consume at once or just bring some relevant papers and letters that I have written over the years.
3. I do not want to bad mouth her mother (even though I think she deserves it) because she is her mother and she did raise her. So what is a good way to go about it without sounding like her mother is a terrible person.
4. I have an online journal that I have been keeping for about 5 years now and am thinking of giving her the address to it so that she can read it before I get there, however it has a lot of info and personal stuff on it. Do you think this would be a good idea.
My concern is legally since there was never any visitation papers drawn up thru the courts(only the divorce papers giving the ex sole custody) can I go to jail if I show up there. I do not need to have my daughter see me getting arrested.