more issues with NCP

[mommyofmany27]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

NCP informed me on 1-31-10 during the visit that as of 2-5-10 he would no longer be residing in TX. He is required per our decree to submit to me, the county clerk and state registry a 60 day notice by certified mail with return receipt his new address and intent to relocate. He has stated that he will not provide a new address.

He is still receiving supervised visits but has stated that he will no longer work with CPS or comply with any of their recommendations. He has stated that I am interfering with his constitutional rights as a father, etc, etc. Despite his rantings during that visit I extended to him the opportunity to see the girls from 4-7 mon-thurs the week he was supposed to be leaving, supervised by me in the same public location. He took the visit on Monday and then emailed me stating that he would no longer allow me to supervise and would see the children when/how he wanted. He then emailed me again on Thursday and stated that he would be picking up the children on Friday from school/daycare. I had originally planned on just taking the agreed upon protective order to the school/daycare but was advised by both locations that I would be better off keeping the children out of school/daycare that day because they were afraid that if he tried to take the children they would have a hard time stopping it. Though I did not want to disrupt their normal schedules I went ahead and took the day off and went to my mother's with the girls to avoid any type of showdown at my home (he does not have my mother's address). I was notified later in the day that he showed up at both locations furious about his children not being in school.

I am unsure if he has moved because I have had no further contact with him. I showed up with kiddos for the visitation but he was a no show.

CPS is aware that he will no longer participate in the investigation. The social worker does not believe that he fully understands the weight of his decision and has tried to get in contact with him several times but has yet to have emails/phone calls returned.

His other issue that he has made abundantly clear is that he does not agree with what I do with the child support. The money comes in and I put 1/2 in one child's account and 1/2 in the other which I am saving to fund their college education. He has stated that every dime he sends is to be spent on them every month and that I'm not allowed to do with it as I please. Please tell me he's wrong! He went on to say that he is going to file in whatever state he is residing in to lower the support because my income combined with my husband's is higher than his. But, Texas is just a flat percentage of NCP's income and my husband's income is not factored in--both of which he seems to not understand.


I am very concerned about him showing up at their school/daycare. My question is, what do I do? Do I go back to court? Do I wait it out and see what the final recommendation of CPS is?

 

[CJane]

I don't remember your whole story, but based strictly on what you've posted here... dad is crazy.

It's REALLY none of his business what you do with child support. Even if you choose to get your nails done and buy yourself a margarita for a night out with the girls. Stop worrying about that.

His new state will not modify CS for him. Stop worrying about that.

Make sure both locations have a copy of the restraining order, and put the sheriff's office/police department in your area on alert that he has made threats about abducting the children. Supply them with the emails he's sent you and a contact at CPS if they have questions.

 

[Zigner]

When I finally get all that's owed to me ($132k at last count), I plan on getting a fast car and an airplane.

 

[ecmst12]

I don't think your HUSBAND'S income would be counted in ANY state.

 

[mommyofmany27]

Thank you all for responding.

I have checked on his unit information with the military and it is all the same (though it may not be updated quickly?). So, if he has moved it is quite possible that he has gone AWOL(which would not be shocking) or he has been given temporary orders. I'm not sure. He could also be bluffing which is why I have continued to show up for the visits as this may be a way for him to hold me in contempt and present me to the courts as being unwilling to co-parent.

The school and daycare now both have copies of the order. I did speak with an officer at our local police station and they have copies of everything he has sent along with the order. The officer basically said unless he actually takes them there isn't anything they can do.

I tried to explain to him that he needs to read up on how CS actually works, but he is convinced that he is right and that I am wrong. I was about 100% sure that I could do with it however I wanted but sometimes he is almost so good at making things sound believable I started to second guess what I had previously believed.

He was diagnosed with ADD or ADHD (not sure and not what I'm the most concerned about) as well as anxiety and depression in 2008 and was put on medication and I do worry that he has stopped taking his medication. Though, not something I can prove, but his continuing erratic behavior I think demonstrates this.

Thanks again!

 

[gr8rn]

The craziest thing about the entire situation is that he would have a problem with you putting the CS in separate accounts for THE KIDS COLLEGE EDUCATIONS!!!! How nuts is that???

Make sure you have a way to prove you were there for each visitation (like buy a soft drink from a local store and save receipt) Hey, you can even use child support money for that!!

 

[mommyofmany27]

The craziest thing about the entire situation is that he would have a problem with you putting the CS in separate accounts for THE KIDS COLLEGE EDUCATIONS!!!! How nuts is that???

Make sure you have a way to prove you were there for each visitation (like buy a soft drink from a local store and save receipt) Hey, you can even use child support money for that!!

I know, I thought he would be pleased that their college will be fully paid for by the time they are ready to go.

We meet at a local McD's because I figured that would make it most comfortable for the girls. I always buy them something and I always keep receipts but didn't think about using the receipts as proof. Thank you for pointing that out.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Child support monies is to reimburse you for the cost of feeding, housing and clothing the chillins'! So, if you have the money to put away for their college education, the more power to you. Trust me - if he made that complaint to the judge, he would laugh.

So, why was CPS involved?

 

[LdiJ]

The craziest thing about the entire situation is that he would have a problem with you putting the CS in separate accounts for THE KIDS COLLEGE EDUCATIONS!!!! How nuts is that???

Make sure you have a way to prove you were there for each visitation (like buy a soft drink from a local store and save receipt) Hey, you can even use child support money for that!!

I had an NCP on another forum tell me that I was STEALING from my ex (many years ago)because I banked my daughter's child support into a college fund. That if I didn't spend the CS directly on my child that I was stealing from the NCP.

 

[mommyofmany27]

I had an NCP on another forum tell me that I was STEALING from my ex (many years ago)because I banked my daughter's child support into a college fund. That if I didn't spend the CS directly on my child that I was stealing from the NCP.

Sounds so much like my ex!

Many things have happened since my last posting. I'm having to post from my phone due to my internet service/cable being magically changed to a different address(twice in the last week)&my phone may or may not put white spaces, so I apologize in advance.

Internet/cable is the least of my worries though. No way to prove that its him doing this just yet but getting the proof is in the works.(He messed with a lot of my bills/email accts when we were divorcing so I'm guessing he's decided to re-visit old territory)

He is constantly emailing me stating that he wants to sign over his rights. Then the next day he sends me another email saying he misses them&I need to send x amount of pictures in x amount of time or "you'll get it". Every single day it's one or the other.

In one of the latest emails he told me that since he no longer lives in the state we were divorced in (tx) that our divorce is no longer legal, we are still married& I'm breaking the law by being married to my husband. I understand how ridiculous that is! Correct me if I'm wrong, our divorce is covered under the full faith&credit act, correct? He goes on to say that he wants me to join him&his gf where they are (still not revealing what state he is in) and that she& I will be sister wives. If only I were joking.

I have had the police show up at my house numerous times to do a welfare check. Each time I explain the situation&each time they say they have to come out. Is this correct? The last time the police were here I showed them the emails&the report regarding when he showed up at their schools. I got the "everything here looks fine,the kids look good,we'd love to not bother you again but our hands are tied" talk. Will this end???


So for my question....in our divorce decree (you know,the one that's not legal ) it states that I have NO geographic restrictions. The ex is saying that even though he is no longer living here I am not allowed to move. But, even if he were still here&i decided to relocate (have no plans to do so) would I have to petition the court or just give my 60 day notice? The decree does NOT state that I need the court's permission but I didn't know if there was some sort of law stating otherwise. I'd love to do the research but my phone loads so slowly.

Thanks!

 

[LdiJ]

Sounds so much like my ex!

Many things have happened since my last posting. I'm having to post from my phone due to my internet service/cable being magically changed to a different address(twice in the last week)&my phone may or may not put white spaces, so I apologize in advance.

Internet/cable is the least of my worries though. No way to prove that its him doing this just yet but getting the proof is in the works.(He messed with a lot of my bills/email accts when we were divorcing so I'm guessing he's decided to re-visit old territory)

He is constantly emailing me stating that he wants to sign over his rights. Then the next day he sends me another email saying he misses them&I need to send x amount of pictures in x amount of time or "you'll get it". Every single day it's one or the other.

In one of the latest emails he told me that since he no longer lives in the state we were divorced in (tx) that our divorce is no longer legal, we are still married& I'm breaking the law by being married to my husband. I understand how ridiculous that is! Correct me if I'm wrong, our divorce is covered under the full faith&credit act, correct? He goes on to say that he wants me to join him&his gf where they are (still not revealing what state he is in) and that she& I will be sister wives. If only I were joking.

I have had the police show up at my house numerous times to do a welfare check. Each time I explain the situation&each time they say they have to come out. Is this correct? The last time the police were here I showed them the emails&the report regarding when he showed up at their schools. I got the "everything here looks fine,the kids look good,we'd love to not bother you again but our hands are tied" talk. Will this end???


So for my question....in our divorce decree (you know,the one that's not legal ) it states that I have NO geographic restrictions. The ex is saying that even though he is no longer living here I am not allowed to move. But, even if he were still here&i decided to relocate (have no plans to do so) would I have to petition the court or just give my 60 day notice? The decree does NOT state that I need the court's permission but I didn't know if there was some sort of law stating otherwise. I'd love to do the research but my phone loads so slowly.

Thanks!

You would simply have to notify him. It would be up to him to take it to court if he wanted to try to stop you. If he has moved out of state the court would not be able to stop you from relocating with the child. Also, based on everything that is going on there is no way a judge could justify giving primary custody to dad, so honestly you have nothing to worry about there.

Do you own your home? A move in your own area (to an address dad wouldn't know since you have no place to send a change of address to him) might get rid of the police well checks. A change in school would also help avoid the chance of any snatch.

Your ex is clearly delusional. It would be wise to take steps to protect yourself and your children.

 

[mommyofmany27]

You would simply have to notify him. It would be up to him to take it to court if he wanted to try to stop you. If he has moved out of state the court would not be able to stop you from relocating with the child. Also, based on everything that is going on there is no way a judge could justify giving primary custody to dad, so honestly you have nothing to worry about there.

Do you own your home? A move in your own area (to an address dad wouldn't know since you have no place to send a change of address to him) might get rid of the police well checks. A change in school would also help avoid the chance of any snatch.

Your ex is clearly delusional. It would be wise to take steps to protect yourself and your children.

We do own our home and have talked about renting our home out and renting a house until this can be resolved. I don't know how realistic that really is for us, but we're trying. As far as the schools go I love where they both attend but will be transferring my eldest out of district (and incurring those fees) and the youngest childs daycare recommended a facility and she starts tomorrow.

The CPS investigation is winding down and should be closed in the next few weeks. The social worker has implemented a safety plan now that says dad is to have no access based on his actions (the ones that required the case to be opened and his recent ones) and the recommendation of the oldest child's therapist (both are in therapy but my youngest is not having an easy time with it). Though it doesn't trump the decree or the PO it's a start and I believe with that and the testimony of the social worker/therapist that a judge may implement her plan. That's only a guess. The social worker also mentioned having a revised PO (no contact) put in as a permanent injunction. I've looked up the legal definition but I am confused as I thought that PO's expired after so many years. Can someone clarify this for me?

He is delusional without a doubt. I believe that he sees this as a game and is attempting to fill me with so much anxiety that I can no longer function. This will not happen and I will continue to do what is in the best interest of my children.

Since I am now pro se I have contacted his attorney directly. She has had no contact with him in quite some time. She stated that she has no plans of helping him pursue custody and that her representation of him is a mere technicality because she is under retainer. My ex did state that this attorney would represent him in any state, which I knew was untrue and she confirmed untrue as she is only licensed in tx.

Do I have any chance of obtaining a PO against him for myself as well? Or will I be laughed out of court?

 

[stealth2]

As far as the schools go I love where they both attend but will be transferring my eldest out of district (and incurring those fees) and the youngest childs daycare recommended a facility and she starts tomorrow.

Why? Wouldn't it make more sense to get an RO on their behalf, prohibiting him from being within X distance of the school grounds?

 

[CJane]

I was having similar issues with a family member re: utilities many years ago.

I finally set it up so that NONE of my utilities could be changed without WRITTEN notice from me. That nipped it. No more "please press 1 to discontinue service".

 

[mommyofmany27]

Why? Wouldn't it make more sense to get an RO on their behalf, prohibiting him from being within X distance of the school grounds?

Because I'm not willing to take chances. Even with the current PO he still went to their schools attempting to take them. This may be seen as an over-dramatic move, but we're not talking about someone who behaves like a normal person.