more questions, any one please

[tiffanys]

What is the name of your state?
P.A.
I have posted before .Now I have a 3month old son. and I have
given my boyfriend plenty of chance to prove he gives a hoot. he talked me into putting his last name along with mine on the certificate, I also let him move in with me, after living alone for four months ,and he dint pay this months rent, so I told him he had to move out,before I got thrown out.
I havent seen him in two weeks, he has been staying with a friend of his and he is talking of going to california with him.

Now here is the problem, his mom, says if he goes to california, Ihave to take him to see him. yea right I dont even own a car, welfare dont supply travel fees!!
Anyway, she also says she wants visitation rights, well I was considering trying to stay with family in N.carolina, and getting a new life and I am afraid
that his mom will go to court and try to get manditory visitation for him and her, and expect me to do all the traveling.If he can run off to california, Why is it my ressponsibility to get the baby to him? I m also angry that I feel I cant leave P.a. because his mom will take me to court and demand her whatever rights.
So far his mom has talked me into not to fileing, for child support,because he is collecting unemployment all this time!!
but now because I have to get on cash assistance, welfare is making me,and I understand, so now his mom says if he has to pay child support he has rights, wellI don t disagree, but isnt running off to a state thats a week away by car, telling someone he dont care about rights? how are theygetting money from someone without a job? he isnt leaving for work either, hes leaving for the simple o pportunity to go with his weird friend.
nothing has gone to court, and I cant prove he does drugs, you'd never know to talk to him.
If I did his mom would just sweet talk the person who was in charge. and somehow she would get me involved and I dont want that.
I need something I can print up to show to her that she has no more rights than My own mother, rights that will cause more hardship than I already have to deal with and If I want to go to another state, I dont have to drive to PA so she can see the baby. If the father can up and run off to california, and Ill believe it when I see it, why cant I do what I want?
any suggestions?
tiffanys

 

[hexeliebe]

nothing has gone to court,

If that's the case, then you can go where you want.

And when you get there you have every right to file for Custody.

As for mommy dearest, she doesn't have any standing to file for anyone other than herself.

By the way, has paternity been established other than his name on the birth certificate? If not, Tell mommie dearest that if she wants to contest your move then you'll simply ask for a paternity test. If her son is in California she can pay the expense to have him return for the test.

As for visitation, since nothing is court-ordered, you don't have to pay for anything. Momma is blowing smoke out of her $ss...

 

[imxoz]

"He talked me into putting his name on the certificate" Tiffany is he or isn't he the biological father. That's pretty important information. Vistation and child support are two different seperate issues. Don't let his mom bully you around. If he is the bio father than he I doubt if he could pull that off. LOL But he does have rights

 

[tiffanys]

oh yes he is the father, I dint deny him the privilage of knowing he has a son,and a chance todo his share. remember, we used to live together, and support ourselves, things just got ugly when he discovered pot and alcohol. I am devestated he isnt the guy Ihoped he would be.
and I feel threatened because I dont have any experience in dealing with people who have knowledge of laws and any sort of rights.His mom thinks she knows everything.And I know nothing.
I am just being the best mom I can be.I dont want to deprive anybody the ability to see the baby,especially my mom, but If I want any gainfull employment, and the chance to meet a nice responsible man, I have to relocate .I may or may not, but I needed to know If I do,noone can cause trouble for me.
Tiffany

 

[hexeliebe]

oh yes he is the father,

And how does this answer the LEGAL question of paternity. Have you had a paternity test completed and was it established that he is the father? Please answer the questions put to you without the editorial comments.

You stated in your first post that "nothing has gone to court". In that case get off this computer and ask an attorney to file custody and support petitions for you immediately.

As for people claiming to "Know the Law" all you have to do is read some of the idiotic answer to questions on this forum to know most people blow smoke out their a$$ because they wouldn't know a law from their left ear.

 

[Whyte Noise]

And then, there are those of us that can't add either.

Sorry Hex.... had to pick.

Poster.... his last name on the birth certificate does not establish paternity. If he signed an Affidavit of Paternity at the hosiptal when the baby was born, that that legally establishes paternity. Just because you say, "oh yes, he's the father" does not establish paternity. However, if you file for custody and/or support, and you both go into that courtroom not disputing paternity, the court will adjudicate him the legal father. A DNA test also establishes paternity.

Establishing paternity is your first step in filing for child support and/or custody. You file your motion(s), and he will either accept paternity of the child, or deny paternity of the child. (IF he hasn't signed an AOP.) Depending on his response, you'll then have different avenues to go on from there on.

As for the relocation.... you're not married. There are no court orders in place. He may not have even established paternity yet, much less be in a position to have any sayso over your moving. His mother has no rights to the child, just as your mother doesn't. They can both petition for visitation possibly, but your child having a child and making you a grandparent doesn't automatically give you any rights TO that grandchild.

But, the question you need to answer on this forum is....

Has his paternity LEGALLY been established by him signing an Affidavit of Paternity at the hospital? Not by you saying he's the father, not by his last name being on the birth certificate, but by signing a legally binding AOP.

The reason I ask is because in PA, you can't list the father's name on the BC without first establishing paternity thru the signing of an AOP. You said that you put his last name as well as yours on the BC, but didn't state if you actually listed him as the father. And also in PA, when the parents are unmarried there is no legal establishment of a relationship between the child and the father UNTIL paternity is established. This is why we're asking if he signed the AOP at the hospital. It's an important question.

 

[hexeliebe]