Mortgage question

[AP3215]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

Hi, My husband and I have been married for 3 years. We got married outside the US and are not US citizens. We live and work in the US and are residents of California. We haven't officially registered our wedding in CA, but have been filing taxes jointly as married since three years. We also jointly purchased a house where husband is primary borrower and I am secondary. Also we are both on the title. I recently found out that my husband has been cheating on me for the last 2.5 years of our marriage by going to escorts and using their services. On his pleading , I agreed to counseling for his sex addiction and me for my hurt and pain.

However, in the last month, there has been no improvement and only more reasons for me to get out of the marriage. So my two questions are these:

1. Given the circumstances, can I apply for divorce i.e. Is the marriage considered legal here?
2. Our monthly mortgage is about 3K (husband makes net of $6600/month and I make $2900/month). Is there a way I can apply to not be liable for the mortgage?

Any advice or pointers in the right direction would be highly appreciated.

Thank you!
AP3215What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

Hi, My husband and I have been married for 3 years. We got married outside the US and are not US citizens. We live and work in the US and are residents of California. We haven't officially registered our wedding in CA, but have been filing taxes jointly as married since three years. We also jointly purchased a house where husband is primary borrower and I am secondary. Also we are both on the title. I recently found out that my husband has been cheating on me for the last 2.5 years of our marriage by going to escorts and using their services. On his pleading , I agreed to counseling for his sex addiction and me for my hurt and pain.

However, in the last month, there has been no improvement and only more reasons for me to get out of the marriage. So my two questions are these:

1. Given the circumstances, can I apply for divorce i.e. Is the marriage considered legal here?
2. Our monthly mortgage is about 3K (husband makes net of $6600/month and I make $2900/month). Is there a way I can apply to not be liable for the mortgage?

Any advice or pointers in the right direction would be highly appreciated.

Thank you!
AP3215What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

1) Yes you can file for divorce in CA. You would need to state where you were married and when and how long you have lived in CA in the county in which you reside on the complaint.
2) The only way to get rid of the liability of the mortgage is for your husband to refinance strictly in his name OR you sell the house OR the mortgage is completedly paid.

 

[mistoffolees]

2) The only way to get rid of the liability of the mortgage is for your husband to refinance strictly in his name OR you sell the house OR the mortgage is completedly paid.

Or, in some cases, the bank will voluntarily remove one name from the mortgage without going through a complete refinancing. However, that requires that there be significant equity and that the person keeping the loan have very sufficient income to pay it. It doesn't look like OP's STBX will meet either of those criteria, so it probably doesn't apply here, but might apply to others reading this (I was able to do it).

Given that the mortgage alone would be about 45% of husband's income, it doesn't look like he can really afford it, either. Their best bet is to sell the house.

 

[AP3215]

Thank you for the reply guys. The problem is my husband does not want the divorce (he is the one who cheated with escorts and deceived me for 2.5 years of our 3 year marriage). He wants to work things out, but I do not trust him anymore because of his constant lies and manipulation.

I assume I should get a lawyer and file for divorce....if i do, is there a way to lessen my obligation to the house (also brought in good faith while he was cheating but I was unaware at that point) using his deception and infidelity and my subsequent hurt and pain as a reason.

If the above is not feasible, then, if I have to sell the house, will he then be forced to agree to sell as well (since I a guessing he won't want to pay the entire thing himself) because of divorce or should I get a court order or something to this effect?

Just really trying to get an idea of the various options available....

All/Any advice/feedback is much appreciated.

Thanks!

 

[nextwife]

Isa there equity? If not, the only way to force the sale is the either make up the shortfall or get the lender to agree to a shortsaLE. tHE LENDER CANNOT BE ORDERED TO AGREE TO A SHORT payoff.

 

[mistoffolees]

I assume I should get a lawyer and file for divorce....if i do, is there a way to lessen my obligation to the house (also brought in good faith while he was cheating but I was unaware at that point) using his deception and infidelity and my subsequent hurt and pain as a reason.

Probably not.

As Nextwife points out, the bank is not a party to the divorce and can not be forced to do anything. They MIGHT accept a short sale, but they don't have to (and a short sale would hurt your credit rating, anyway).

In SOME states, you could argue that you should be indemnified because of his actions which led to the breakup of the marriage and his squandering marital assets. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to apply in CA. It looks like you each get 1/2. Basically, whoever keeps the house would also get the mortgage on the house and have to pay the other party 1/2 of the equity. That still doesn't solve the problem of your credit being tied up.

Your best bet is probably to get an order for him to refinance in his name, and if that's not possible, to sell the house - with the two of you making up any difference between selling price and mortgage (unless you can get the bank to take less).