mother interfering with visitation

[jim_pm75]

i am the father of a six year old boy. i lost in my first custody battle because i had a woman living with me, who i was not married to. my wife and i seperated because she was having an afair with a man from work. she became pregnant by him and decided to leave me. since that time we have been to court twice because she alleged that i had someone in the house after ten p.m. that wasn't related or married to me. in the custody papers it is stated that this isnt allowed. both times we have gone back to court i have been awarded more visitation rights. the last time we went to court was to get all the holiday visitation outlined so there would be no arguing over who was to get him and when. so now the papers give times of who has him during what parts of all holidays.
for the last two months i have to search for him when i am supposed to pick him up for my weekend visitation or he is at a friends house on a night when i am supposed to have him and i have to wait until after 8:00p.m. to go back and get him. on my birthday i am supposed to have him after work, i got off early that day, by about a half hour, and went straight to my ex's house, she was leaving when i pulled in and my son (jimmy) said they were going to the babysitters house. if i had gotten there at my normal time i dont know if i would have even gotten him. i try to be very active in jimmy's life and do my best to be there for him when he needs me. there are alot of other issues that concern me in his life such as school attendance how his grades are,( i have to call his teacher at home and talk to her because my ex will tell me nothing that is going on), his health i worry about because she does not feed him the way a young boy should be fed. he eats more junk than food, she works nights so he stays at a babysitters on the nights she works.
i dont have alot of money to keep going to court and paying for a lawyer (no offence but you guys aren't cheap), i dont like seeing jimmy go through all that happens almost every weekend because in the long run he is the only one hurt in this whole thing.
i am engaged to be married soon, and my ex is constantly making derogitory remarks about my fiance' and me to my son.
i live in virginia and am so emotionally drained from everything that is constantly going on, there is always an arguement when it is time for me to have jimmy. i feel like i am a good father to him and i love to spend time with him, i am not abusive or mean to him, usually our time together is spend doing things he wants to do. i need help i dont know what kind of legal action i can take or what kind of a case i even have. i would love to have custody of him but it seems like unless the mother is a serial killer a chance of that is out of the question.

please help

 

[worried stepmom]

you hit the nail on the head. We are going through almost the same situation with my stepson and his mother. My husband is a wonderful father, and his son worships him. he gets no attention at home because his mother chooses her work and live in boyfriend over him. we see the evidence that she is a bad mother--beer cans, leaving with grandmother, negative comments about my husband and myself, but still they say we have to prove her unfit. How much more unfit does she have to get.
The best advice is to document--write down everything she does to you, him, or your fiancee. Keep it dated and detailed. If you are like us, we feel when he gets old enough to choose, he will choose us, and by then we will have tons of documentation to support his decision.
I know this doesn't help much, but at least you are getting to see your son. My stepson's mom got mad because he obeyed me at a ball game and didn't obey her, and now she refuses to let us see him. There is nothing to do short of getting a police officer to enforce the court order, and the lawyer doesn't advise this because the lawyer will look down on this action. So, basically, we won't see him until 6/28 when the trial is. On top of not letting us see him, she is going to ask for more $.
Good luck!