Mother moved out of state.

[Elliot57]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

Hello everyone,

About a month ago, my daughter's mother told me that she was going to be moving down to Alabama with her boyfriend. She said that we'd talk about it at some point. We didn't and on Memorial Day, I dropped off my daughter and she told me that she was leaving that night. I was never given a date till then, I wasn't told about my kid being taken out of school, or any changes in who her doctor is. From my understanding, she needs either approval from the court or a written agreement with me. She has neither. I'm not really sure what to do next. I contacted Family Court, but all they did was tell me that she could be held in contempt when our parenting agreement was broken and to contact an attorney. I've been looking into attorneys, but I was wondering if there was something I could file at the courthouse in the meantime or do I just need to wait until the parenting agreement is broken then file for contempt?

Which brings me to my next question. She believes that she can't be held in contempt, since I'm still welcome to get my daughter this Friday as per our parenting agreement. I want to see my daughter, but if I go get her this weekend and her mother picks her up Sunday, will that not count as contempt since we're still doing the custody agreement. There's nothing in the agreement about moving. Is it a bad idea to drive down there to see her after I get off work on Friday?

Thanks in advance for any advice.

 

[HRZ]

Mom is totally wrong about the relocation issues in NC ..and to relocate with a BF is not even a compelling reason ....but I think you would be wise to use counsel to best leverage the situation .... in you shoes I'd want the child returned to NC or as a bare minimum Mom picks up ALL transportation ..but use counsel to articulate what is best for child in your view .

 

[CTU]

Despite what the previous poster would like you to believe, moving with a boyfriend can be a compelling reason to relocate the child. It is not unheard of.


You need an attorney, like tomorrow. First thing. Do it.

 

[t74]

Where are you supposed to pick up your daughter? At the original location or AL?

 

[CJane]

Please think more about your daughter than about how it will look to the court. Please show HER that you'll move heaven and earth to have a relationship with her. Don't sit around and NOT visit her because it may or may not have an impact on whether the court punishes Mom.

Please.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

Hello everyone,

About a month ago, my daughter's mother told me that she was going to be moving down to Alabama with her boyfriend. She said that we'd talk about it at some point. We didn't and on Memorial Day, I dropped off my daughter and she told me that she was leaving that night. I was never given a date till then, I wasn't told about my kid being taken out of school, or any changes in who her doctor is. From my understanding, she needs either approval from the court or a written agreement with me. She has neither. I'm not really sure what to do next. I contacted Family Court, but all they did was tell me that she could be held in contempt when our parenting agreement was broken and to contact an attorney. I've been looking into attorneys, but I was wondering if there was something I could file at the courthouse in the meantime or do I just need to wait until the parenting agreement is broken then file for contempt?

Which brings me to my next question. She believes that she can't be held in contempt, since I'm still welcome to get my daughter this Friday as per our parenting agreement. I want to see my daughter, but if I go get her this weekend and her mother picks her up Sunday, will that not count as contempt since we're still doing the custody agreement. There's nothing in the agreement about moving. Is it a bad idea to drive down there to see her after I get off work on Friday?

Thanks in advance for any advice.

So you plan to punish your daughter because you think it might take away some leverage in court if you go see her? Don't do that to your daughter.

Contempt is not important right now. Filing for a change in primary custody because mom relocated without permission is the issue. Or, in the alternative, filing for a modification of the parenting schedule due to the relocation is the issue.

 

[HRZ]

THe move away factors in NC per Ramirez-Baker v Baker are :
The advantages of relocation to improve the minor child’s quality of life.
The custodial parent’s motives in seeking to move.
The likelihood that the custodial parent will comply with visitation orders.
The integrity of the non-custodial parent in opposing the move. (good faith or spite to oppose move?)
The likelihood that a realistic visitation schedule can be arranged which will preserve and foster the minor child’s relationship with the noncustodial parent.

I suggest you use counsel to articulate your point of view as to what is best for child...and exercise good faith and clean hands

Mom in Baker did NOT get permission to move ...but that was to be to CA.

 

[Zigner]

THe move away factors in NC per Ramirez-Baker v Baker are :
The advantages of relocation to improve the minor child’s quality of life.
The custodial parent’s motives in seeking to move.
The likelihood that the custodial parent will comply with visitation orders.
The integrity of the non-custodial parent in opposing the move. (good faith or spite to oppose move?)
The likelihood that a realistic visitation schedule can be arranged which will preserve and foster the minor child’s relationship with the noncustodial parent.

I suggest you use counsel to articulate your point of view as to what is best for child...and exercise good faith and clean hands

Mom in Baker did NOT get permission to move ...but that was to be to CA.

You can't see how item 1 & 2 would apply in this case?

 

[Elliot57]

Thanks everyone for the responses.

The only reason I was given for the move was that the boyfriend has family in AL and might be able to get a better job. My family that my daughter is used to seeing when I have her is up here in NC.

CTU - I'm looking into attorneys. I'm seeing if I can find an unbundled one that's decent since I had some unexpected experiences come up a while ago.

CJane & LdiJ - This isn't about punishing the mother. I'd prefer to actually have as little to do with her as possible, and filing for contempt is just going to bring headaches and arguments, but I don't want it to look like I'm condoning the move in any way. Also, filing for contempt or getting an attorney are the only things that Family Court told me I could do.
The only reasons not to go visit her is because I don't want it to look like we're trying to make the move work and because it's 9 and a half hours to get down there. That means not getting her on Friday like I'm used to. I'll have to leave work at 5, find a hotel, pick her up in the morning(hopefully she'll sleep most of the way back or play games on the iPad), then another 9 and a half hours back with her mom on Sunday. Or maybe I should just try to find some stuff to do with her down there. Find a park or something then spend the night in a hotel. However, my mom and brother want to see her and they're up here in NC.

Thanks again everyone.

 

[Ohiogal]

File a motion objecting to the move and asking that the child be returned to NC until said time as a decision is made.

 

[HRZ]

What suits the BF is not necessarily in child's best interest.....this in not about BF.

OG is the odds on expert here ....file seeking child be returned to NC pending a decision as she suggests

At least to my lay thinking , to move some 19 hours away , round trip, is also constructive denial or frustration of the NCPs visitation rights ...unless by some miracle CP steps up to the plate and does ALL the driving each way .