Mother trying to get back in the picture

[jmuldome]

What is the name of your state?

Arizona

i need help. prepare for a long story.

i myself and the mother of my daughter were together for 2 yrs.
we parted ways shortly after my daughters 1st b-day and my daughter was with me until her mother came and took her away from me and kept her from me for a month.
at that time, her living arrangements fell through and she turned over my daughter to me. several months later it became known to me that my daughters mother became pregnant by another person. months after that fact she decided she was going to move out east to let her relative adopt this new child. this idea she soon backed out of and decided to keep this new child.
approximately 1 year ago, i was awarded by the court, sole legal and physical custody with no visitation rights.
well the situation as it stand is that my daughters mother now has a total of 5 children ( two prior to our relationship currently living with grandparents, my daughter, and two more children with her husband).
my daughters mother recently paid to allow the grandparents to adopt the first two children, my daughter is 3yrs old and has resided with me for all but one month of her life, and the two new children reside with my daughters mother and her husband.

well now that you know the history, here is my plead for help.
after a year and a half of her absence, my daughters mother is wanting to return into my daughters life.
i am reluctant at this time due to the emotionl rift her absence caused and due to the rift her re-appearance followed by absence will cause to my daughter.
naturally my daughters mother is threatening to "do this the hard way"
what can she legally do to me or my daughter?
my daughter is so happy now after a year of emotional turmoil and i do not want any disruptions to that.
what rights does she have given the fact that the court has awarded me sole legal and physical custody?
i am confident yet worried at the same time.
somebody help.

 

[sunfun]

Well, she can take you to court for visitation or custody. Chances are that she will not get custody. There is a chance that she will get visitation though. She will have to apply for all of this in a court district where YOU reside with your daughter so make darn sure you show up to court and with your own lawyer. You can request supervised visitation so that your daughter and her mother are not alone together. Since she hasn't seen your daughter in so long it will probably be granted. I don't see a judge granting visitation without supervision in your case. Does Mom pay support? If this goes to court, it would be a good time to ask for it since you are fully intitled to it whether or not she sees your daughter. Good luck.

 

[jmuldome]

well i dont forsee her doing much. she gave up on two kids and now she lives in the mideast.
i dont predict that she will come all the way down her to file for a very difficult visitation arrangement.
but thanks for the other info.

 

[VeeGee]

well i dont forsee her doing much. she gave up on two kids and now she lives in the mideast.
i dont predict that she will come all the way down her to file for a very difficult visitation arrangement.
but thanks for the other info.

Jmuldome....I wouldn't worry about your ex wife taking you to court...as you said she lives in the mideast. If her daughter wasn't important enough to fight for back when the two of you departed...then chances are the same applies now. If by chance she does take you to court, all she "might" get are supervises visitation rights. I have to commend you on taking charge of your daughter's life...not many dad's do what you have done. Your daughter is a very lucky child to have a dad like you in her life. Good luck and I wish you the best!

 

[jmuldome]

here is some funny business about the gender bias in courts.
when i went to my child support hearing, they awarded me $11 per month.
no that is not a typo, $11/mo.
my friend who is in the same situation( i make the same as he, and his x makes the same as mine) is paying over $200 per month although he has visitation every other weekend.

does visitation really figure THAT much into support?

upon hearing my child support payment, i told the judge thanks but no thanks.

the judge awarded it to me despite my protest.

$11 per month, what a joke!

but even that much, the mother is not paying and i am not going to waste my time to go to the courts to enforce it.
i also am not going to the courts to get it adjusted, wasting my time and money for money i will never receive.

 

[VeeGee]

I have to agree with you on that...you probably will spend more money for lawyers and court, and it's not worth it.

 

[Seanscott]

Have you considered filing for termination of her parental rights due to abandonment & failure to support? That will keep her out of the picture forever - legally. In some states, if a parent has given up other children, it can be used against her in a termination hearing.

Best wishes to you.

 

[tiggerswife]

Have you considered filing for termination of her parental rights due to abandonment & failure to support? That will keep her out of the picture forever - legally. In some states, if a parent has given up other children, it can be used against her in a termination hearing.

Best wishes to you.

How is that done? i mean what is considered abandoment? and for how long does it take to be considered as much?