Mothers Day

[friendly1]

My ex has visitation on Sundays until we go to court. Since May 13 is Mothers Day and a Sunday, does he still have the visitation right? If I would like to have her for that day, should I write him a letter asking to switch his day to Saturday? What if he denies it? What if he told me he already made plans for that day? I'm trying to get some advice without contacting my lawyer to save some $. Thanks

 

[Ambr]

what does your decree say? some detail that dad gets father's day and mom gets mother's day. if it does detail this out, then the mother's day should over ride the weekend visitation.

if it isn't detailed out, the only thing you could do would be to ask. what he decides would go, it is his time.

 

[friendly1]

It says for infants that the visitation should be on Saturday or Sunday. The catch to this is we are fighting things and he had an ammendum made that states his visitation will be Sundays and goes into detail about the rest of the hours thru the week. But no where does it state anything about holidays. I have asked him for Mom's day but he is refusing. I said he could have Saturday, have invited him to see her on occasions that aren't stated in the contract and tried to be the nice guy, yet he refuses to let me have the first mothers day with my child. I'm sorry but this really infuriates me. Would it be contempt if I denied visitation one time on the fact that it is mothers day? He is also stating that now that I am demanding mothers day, he is going to demand more visitation time and also custody. Based on the fact that I am "denying" him visitation time (Mom's Day), he says he will get custody and then he will make it so I never see her. I don't know what to do. I get so mad when he talks that way because it's my children!! I do everything I possibly can to enforce a relationship between the father and my children only to be taken advantage of. It's like I give an inch and they take a mile. I never bitch about child support and have always been easy going about everything. Maybe I should start being cold hearted, but that would only hurt my children. What am I suppose to do?!?

Thank you Ambr, and sorry for rattling on!!

[Edited by friendly1 on 05-07-2001 at 09:57 AM]

 

[Ambr]

a decree that doesn't cover holidays at all???? is it a temporary decree? maybe it is just due to the age of the child?

mine was for an infant and was broke out into sections. what would happen until the age of 1, then the age of 4, then the age of 5. i use to laugh at my decree because it was so thick, but maybe i should thank the lawyer for getting that detailed. it has paid off a couple of times.

if it doesn't detail out the holidays, then you are going to come across situations like this more often in the future. it might be worth checking into getting it re-worded. gonna take a modification, but it will be worth it in the long run.

of course this won't help you next week. if you deny him his visitation, he can file contempt charges on you. you would have to explain why you did it. what would happen would be up to the judge.

first mothers day, that is an important thing for you, but you need to weigh things out because there could be complications from your decision. if you deny him visitation, there could be contempt charges. you are showing the judge that you do not respect his decisions and you are not going to abide by his rulings. which could end up going against you in the long run.

 

[truth is powerful]

I would submit alternatives to him in writting via certified letter today. I would explain the reason for wanting to change this one day. Keep copies of the letter and ask for his response in writting. This one day may not be worth going to court over, but he sounds as if he will find something else to threaten about next. Any judge would think he is nuts if there are alternate days offered. I believe the most you would get is a slap on the hand. Maybe you should offer to let him take the both of you out to breakfast,to honor the mother you are to his child.

 

[BugHogan]

Our situation was that we are supposed to get the kids ever other weekend, but asked if we could take them two weekends in a row, then his visitation wouldn't fall on Mother's Day and she could have them then. She agreed to it.

Perhaps offer him two weekends in a row or something like that to make up for the missed Mother's Day visitation? It doesn't seem unreasonable to me that you would want your child on Mother's Day!

 

[friendly1]

Thank you so much for all of your replies!!!
His visitation is set for every Sunday. I called and asked him to switch it to Saturday. He was very upset and yelling. So I called my lawyer. He stated that Mother's Day is to always be with the Mother as Father's Day is to always be with the father. So I will not be in the wrong to keep her. So now I will have a wonderful mothers day!!! Hope all of you mothers out there and Mr. Mom's have a wonderful mothers day too!!