Mothers husband denying adult childrens legal rights

[LindaSH]

What is the name of your state?The state of Texas.
My mother is 85 yrs. old and has dementia. It has gotten to the point that she has had to be put in a nursing home, due to the fact that she gets up during the night and becomes disoriented and falls. She still knows everybody and most of the time knows what she is doing. She has been diagnosised with Sundowners Disease, which means that she becomes very disoriented at night. Her husband, (not her children's father) is not allowing any of her adult children (there are 5 of us) to have any input in any decision making about our mother. My mother does not have very much, nothing of real value, so this last week end my sister and I went to see my mother and took her over to her house so she feel good about being able to go home for a visit. While we were there my mother gave my sister and me some old family books and pictures that are from our side of the family and that she had before she married her current husband. Her husband (who is 80 yrs. old) got very angry and told us we have no right to take anything out of his house without his permission, and that my mother has no right to give away any of her personal memorbilia from her family without his permission. My question is this does he have a legal right to tell her she cannot give family things to her children, if they are not from his side of the family? Also, I am afraid he is going to try and keep us from seeing her, can he prevent us from visiting her in the nursing home? Please help me with this.

 

[tigger22472]

I'm going to assume since your mother is in a nursing home that she has a Power of Attorney. I'm also going to assume since you didn't mention it that neither you or your sister are the POA. I realize your concern but I also wonder under what rights the nursing home allowed you and your sister to remove your mother from the nursing home, assuming your step-father isn't the POA and the attitude he's taken I doubt he would of approved.

I'm less concerned about the items your mother gave you, however, if she's been diagnosed with Alzheimer which is what it sounds as if you are saying, especially with the Sundowner's then he can limit what is given without his approval. Courts will have little to say about wether she gives you these items or not. As far as not allowing you to see your mother that COULD happen if he tells the nursing home this and it depends on their policies. Again, a lot of this depends on the legal aspects of what's been done already.

 

[LindaSH]

State of Texas.
Since the last time I posted, many things have happened. To respond to the last reply. When we took my mother to visit her house, her husband was with us. I asume since he is her husband that he has POA over her, I have not seen a power of attorney. But I do know that my mother has told me that she signed a paper for emergency medical decisions. I was told that I was third or forth on the list to call, behind him, his granddaughter, and sister. None of these people are directly related to my mother. The latest events are as follows, now he has had the phone in her nursing home room disconnected. None of her children are able to call her. He has a bad heart and this week has been in the hospital. He is really in no condition to be responsible for my mother or her affairs. He has an adult granddaughter who is really the one behind all of his negative feels toward myself and my siblings. So, now my question is this. Would it be possible for me to get a guardianship of my mother and if so, could he fight me for this? I know his granddaughter is pulling all the strings for him and has the money to fight in court if necessary for him. My mother is not capable of signing any papers, because she just gets confused. Also, what would it involve for me to get a guardianship? This situation just keeps going from bad to worse and I feel I need to do something quickly before it gets completely out of hand. Thank you for all of your help.

 

[BlondiePB]

Things that you have described are "warning signs" of Elder Abuse. I haven't, yet, checked TX statutes to see how clear they are. However, most states are similiar. See FL chapters 415 (Adult Protective Services) and 744 (Guardianships) as they are very, very clear. Yes, you can apply for guardianship over your mother. Her husband will be able to contest this. Preventing you from seeing your mother is a "warning sign" unless there is "just cause". Also, removing the phone from your mother's room, without "just cause" in the nursing home is another sign of Elder Abuse. Have you discussed the removal of the phone with the nursing home administrator?