Motion heard

[mandelbrot007]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

CA

I am the dad in this matter. Custody: Joint legal and physical with equal parenting time

There was a hearing today with following pleadings:

1. Sole legal for Ex for school purposes only
2. Change child's (age 3.9) preschool A to B (also a private school)
3. Keep the child in private school B when child is ready to go to school until grade 8

I went to court to get a continuance as I was without representation. Opponent counsel objected and my oral motion for continuance was denied(reason I was served a month ago and had an ample time)

Now, I was forced into the colosseum. I argued for 20 minutes why it is in the interest of child to keep at current preschool and not change the preschool. Judged believed OC's argument more than me. For the first time I learned courts place a weight on preschool. I used childcare and preschool interchangeably. I was also not thinking sharp due to being little nervous and forgot some salient points to counter OC's argument. I also argued why public school is good for child(said diversity and current school rating as a reason in favor of public school) which seem to have had some effect on the judge

Result

1. Sole legal was denied for ex
2. Court agreed with ex on this and ordered that ex can change to preschool B
3. Didn't grant ex to continue at private school for the actual schooling. Said it can be revisited when the child is ready. ( she will go to KG in 2018

I am very dissappointed because first, I was denied right to counsel. A counsel would have easily won this case

Second, if Child go to preschool B which is a private school, my kid will be stuck there because ex will argue that it isn't in the interest of child to again change to public school after one year. I am totally opposed to the idea of sending the child to private school.

Now the question to you legal experts,

Can I retry this with an attorney again? I didn't agree to this outside the court or anything. We have also other outstanding such as finances to settle. May be an attorney can argue better and fill in the holes in my argument today. I have been in this for two years. I am tight on resources. I need to really pick and chose my battles.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

CA

I am the dad in this matter. Custody: Joint legal and physical with equal parenting time

There was a hearing today with following pleadings:

1. Sole legal for Ex for school purposes only
2. Change child's (age 3.9) preschool A to B (also a private school)
3. Keep the child in private school B when child is ready to go to school until grade 8

I went to court to get a continuance as I was without representation. Opponent counsel objected and my oral motion for continuance was denied(reason I was served a month ago and had an ample time)

Now, I was forced into the colosseum. I argued for 20 minutes why it is in the interest of child to keep at current preschool and not change the preschool. Judged believed OC's argument more than me. For the first time I learned courts place a weight on preschool. I used childcare and preschool interchangeably. I was also not thinking sharp due to being little nervous and forgot some salient points to counter OC's argument. I also argued why public school is good for child(said diversity and current school rating as a reason in favor of public school) which seem to have had some effect on the judge

Result

1. Sole legal was denied for ex
2. Court agreed with ex on this and ordered that ex can change to preschool B
3. Didn't grant ex to continue at private school for the actual schooling. Said it can be revisited when the child is ready. ( she will go to KG in 2018

I am very dissappointed because first, I was denied right to counsel. A counsel would have easily won this case

You are wrong that counsel could have easily won the case. This is one of those things that could have gone either way whether you had counsel or not.

Second, if Child go to preschool B which is a private school, my kid will be stuck there because ex will argue that it isn't in the interest of child to again change to public school after one year. I am totally opposed to the idea of sending the child to private school.

You are wrong that the judge deciding that mom could change to preschool B automatically means that the child will end up attending regular school there. The judge said it would be revisited and it will be. You can get an attorney for that.

Now the question to you legal experts,

I retry this with an attorney again? I didn't agree to this outside the court or anything. We have also other outstanding such as finances to settle. May be an attorney can argue better and fill in the holes in my argument today. I have been in this for two years. I am tight on resources. I need to really pick and chose my battles.

Unless you appeal the ruling, which would be very expensive and unlikely to make a difference, no you cannot "retry" the issue.
Focus on positioning yourself so that you can fight the battle when its time for him to start regular school.

 

[mandelbrot007]

You are wrong that the judge deciding that mom could change to preschool B automatically means that the child will end up attending regular school there. The judge said it would be revisited and it will be. You can get an attorney for that

If my child has to go to public school an year later, it will be two changes I forgot to ask judge how it would be in the interest of child to make two changes in an year. Today is was all about the interest of child. When I want to change later to public school, mother's argument will be that D is used to the current school (status quo) and the change isn't necessary(best interest of child). I don't know what will be my best argument in favor of changing to public school. Feel like its gonna be an uphill battle

 

[CTU]

If my child has to go to public school an year later, it will be two changes I forgot to ask judge how it would be in the interest of child to make two changes in an year. Today is was all about the interest of child. When I want to change later to public school, mother's argument will be that D is used to the current school (status quo) and the change isn't necessary(best interest of child). I don't know what will be my best argument in favor of changing to public school. Feel like its gonna be an uphill battle

Well, you can't appeal based on something you forgot to mention and as LdiJ said, you won't get to retry the whole case. Also, you weren't denied the right to counsel at all - you had a month to get something sorted out. That you didn't isn't Mom's, or the court's, fault.

I know that may seem harsh, but you need to start getting realistic about how this works and what is and isn't going to matter.

There is a wealth of information to be found - all you have to do is look, and start reading.

 

[stealth2]

So - why didn't you retain counsel? You say you've been on this train for two years.... you have certainly had ample time. Believe me - we all know it's not inexpensive. But that isn't the point.

 

[mandelbrot007]

So - why didn't you retain counsel? You say you've been on this train for two years.... you have certainly had ample time. Believe me - we all know it's not inexpensive. But that isn't the point.

I tried responding twice yesterday its being submitted to moderator review

There is a long story to this. My counsel was no longer serving my purpose and had to let him go around the time the motion was filed. I was counting that I would get one continuance as a court policy as I didn't want to hire someone in a hurry. Anyway I have learnt my lessons next appearance will be with counsel

Well, you can't appeal based on something you forgot to mention and as LdiJ said, you won't get to retry the whole case. Also, you weren't denied the right to counsel at all - you had a month to get something sorted out. That you didn't isn't Mom's, or the court's, fault.

I know that may seem harsh, but you need to start getting realistic about how this works and what is and isn't going to matter.

There is a wealth of information to be found - all you have to do is look, and start reading.

What is the wealth of info you are talking about? Is it info about public vs private school

The new preschool will cost me $200 more per month. The current order which was done more than an year ago says father and mother take turn to pay tuition fee to preschool A every month.

We didn't discuss the tuition at the court. When Ex brought this matter before taking me to court for change of preschool, she had said in her email that she would be willing to cover the difference in tuition and when she is ready to go to public school we can discuss and change her to public school.

To give a bit of background, ex is flaunting her new found spending capability. Ink is barely dry on divorce, she remarried, she has asked me permissions for out of state and out of country trips etc. She wants to all of a sudden change to more expensive pre-school B which is more of a status symbol. She wants to bump up the vacation days from week to 3 weeks all this as a result of her sudden increase in the household income.

I have been trying to recover from turmoil. She wanted to enroll kid to swimming and I agreed to it because the skill is one of the most important things and I wish to contribute to swimming lessons,

Now do I need to pick up the difference in tuition which is additional $200?

 

[mandelbrot007]

So - why didn't you retain counsel? You say you've been on this train for two years.... you have certainly had ample time. Believe me - we all know it's not inexpensive. But that isn't the point.

I tried responding twice yesterday its being submitted to moderator review

There is a long story to this. My counsel was no longer serving my purpose and had to let him go around the time the motion was filed. I was counting that I would get one continuance as a court policy as I didn't want to hire someone in a hurry. Anyway I have learnt my lessons next appearance will be with counsel

Well, you can't appeal based on something you forgot to mention and as LdiJ said, you won't get to retry the whole case. Also, you weren't denied the right to counsel at all - you had a month to get something sorted out. That you didn't isn't Mom's, or the court's, fault.

I know that may seem harsh, but you need to start getting realistic about how this works and what is and isn't going to matter.

There is a wealth of information to be found - all you have to do is look, and start reading.

What is the wealth of info you are talking about? Is it info about public vs private school

The new preschool will cost me $200 more per month. The current order which was done more than an year ago says father and mother take turn to pay tuition fee to preschool every month.

We didn't discuss the tuition at the court. When Ex brought this matter before taking me to court for change of preschool, she had said in her email that she would be willing to cover the difference in tuition and when she is ready to go to public school we can discuss and change her to public school.

To give a bit of background, ex is flaunting her new found spending capability. Ink is barely dry on divorce, she remarried, she has asked me permissions for out of state and out of country trips etc. She wants to all of a sudden change to more expensive pre-school B which is more of a status symbol. She wants to bump up the vacation days from week to 3 weeks all this as a result of her sudden increase in the household income.

I have been trying to recover from turmoil. She wanted to enroll kid to swimming and I agreed to it because the skill is one of the most important things and I wish to contribute to swimming lessons,

Now do I need to pick up the difference in tuition which is additional $200?

 

[CTU]

I tried responding twice yesterday its being submitted to moderator review

There is a long story to this. My counsel was no longer serving my purpose and had to let him go around the time the motion was filed. I was counting that I would get one continuance as a court policy as I didn't want to hire someone in a hurry. Anyway I have learnt my lessons next appearance will be with counsel



What is the wealth of info you are talking about? Is it info about public vs private school

The new preschool will cost me $200 more per month. The current order which was done more than an year ago says father and mother take turn to pay tuition fee to preschool every month.

We didn't discuss the tuition at the court. When Ex brought this matter before taking me to court for change of preschool, she had said in her email that she would be willing to cover the difference in tuition and when she is ready to go to public school we can discuss and change her to public school.

To give a bit of background, ex is flaunting her new found spending capability. Ink is barely dry on divorce, she remarried, she has asked me permissions for out of state and out of country trips etc. She wants to all of a sudden change to more expensive pre-school B which is more of a status symbol. She wants to bump up the vacation days from week to 3 weeks all this as a result of her sudden increase in the household income.

I have been trying to recover from turmoil. She wanted to enroll kid to swimming and I agreed to it because the skill is one of the most important things and I wish to contribute to swimming lessons,

Now do I need to pick up the difference in tuition which is additional $200?

Are you familiar with something called "Google"? All snark aside, Dad, if you're going to be doing this yourself you have to start researching, reading, absorbing ... and this forum is just one of many. Look at old posts (focus only on those pertaining to your state). Dig up your state statutes. Heck, go to court a few times and watch what happens (this in and of itself is eye-opening and occasionally brain-bleach worthy).

You're the one in charge of your case - so TAKE CHARGE!

 

[mandelbrot007]

Are you familiar with something called "Google"? All snark aside, Dad, if you're going to be doing this yourself ..

Nope will not do it alone again. I will fight with an attorney if ex wants to continue our child there for real schooling instead of a public school.

What do I do with tuition dilemma? Can I refuse to pay more than what I am already paying for the current preschool. It is a pinch in my pocket even if is only 200 bucks as I have to save up to fight for public school later. For ex not so because her household income just became double due to remarriage

 

[CJane]

To give a bit of background, ex is flaunting her new found spending capability. Ink is barely dry on divorce, she remarried, she has asked me permissions for out of state and out of country trips etc. She wants to all of a sudden change to more expensive pre-school B which is more of a status symbol. She wants to bump up the vacation days from week to 3 weeks all this as a result of her sudden increase in the household income.

You realize that this all sounds like a bunch of whiny blah blah blah, right? So what if your ex has more money available in her household than yours? That's BOUND to happen to one parent in a divorce situation. Heck, my Ex made easily 3x more than me for a decade. Then I remarried, and suddenly our household out earns his. Big. Deal.

Now do I need to pick up the difference in tuition which is additional $200?

You don't need to pay any more than your order says you do. So if it specifically says that you pay the tuition to DayCareX e/o month, then that's the amount that you pay. If it says you pay "associated child care costs" or something like that, then that's what you pay. So... maybe.