moving, modifying custody..

[delia]

Hey everyone. I'm from Pennsylvania. I'll be leaving in August for the Air Force and hopefully if all goes well, my current boyfriend, who is going through a divorce, will be moving right along side after school. Visitation of his child now is in writing and I of course, know nothing about divorce, child custody, etc. I'm afraid his ex will say alright.. you're leaving, you're not seeing him ever. Could she even do that? Or will the courts step in and say no you can't do that just because he's leaving.. this is when he sees him... and draw up new rules.

We're hoping to fly home at least once a month.. and maybe have him for a few weeks here and there.

Thanks for any help.. I have no where else to go really to settle my nerves about any of this.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Since you are not a party to anything related to your boyfriend's custody matter, it would be a waste of time to even address the issue. If your boyfriend wants answers, tell him to post here.

 

[delia]

no no...

You're just simply misunderstanding. I know he has the answers. He has a lawyer, everything. I just feel like he says things to calm my nerves about it... like don't worry.. this is how it is..she can't call the shots that way.. because he is just like that. With me leaving for bootcamp he knows I don't need anymore stress.
So I was hoping to get advice from other people besides someone who really wants to pacify the situation. And to say I'm not a part of it.. is ridiculous because.. I love him and his son and he is leaving because of me. So.. thanks.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

You're just simply misunderstanding. I know he has the answers. He has a lawyer, everything. I just feel like he says things to calm my nerves about it... like don't worry.. this is how it is..she can't call the shots that way.. because he is just like that. With me leaving for bootcamp he knows I don't need anymore stress.
So I was hoping to get advice from other people besides someone who really wants to pacify the situation. And to say I'm not a part of it.. is ridiculous because.. I love him and his son and he is leaving because of me. So.. thanks.

Then the only advice that is applicable to your situation is support him, stay out of the situation as best you can and move on with life.

The more you interject yourself in HIS situation, the harder you will make it on him in court.

 

[stealth2]

he is leaving because of me.

All the more reason to stay as far out of his divorce as possible. Because you could totally balls it up for him. Does it seriously surprise you that his wife isn't keen on their son spending time with his mistress?

 

[bigbadbrat]

stay out of fiance's legal battle

You're just simply misunderstanding. I know he has the answers. He has a lawyer, everything. I just feel like he says things to calm my nerves about it... like don't worry.. this is how it is..she can't call the shots that way.. because he is just like that. With me leaving for bootcamp he knows I don't need anymore stress.
So I was hoping to get advice from other people besides someone who really wants to pacify the situation. And to say I'm not a part of it.. is ridiculous because.. I love him and his son and he is leaving because of me. So.. thanks.

it doesnt matter how much you love them, this situation is between your fiance and the child's mother ONLY. your fiance doesnt need YOU putting your two cents in, especially in court, it will hurt his case.as another poster stated, you need to stay out of it, its none of your business, this isnt your child.

 

[delia]

Ok.. I don't want to go to court.
I simply asked if it was possible someone can actually do that to a child and parent. In general I am interested. Personally I am interested. I'm not weird or nosy because I have questions.
Why do you think I asked here? Because I don't want to bother him. It's not too hard to see that.
And I never said anything about her not wanting the child around me. Believe it or not, as it stands her and I are fine.
I'll get my advice some place else. Have a good day guys.

 

[LdiJ]

Ok.. I don't want to go to court.
I simply asked if it was possible someone can actually do that to a child and parent. In general I am interested. Personally I am interested. I'm not weird or nosy because I have questions.
Why do you think I asked here? Because I don't want to bother him. It's not too hard to see that.
And I never said anything about her not wanting the child around me. Believe it or not, as it stands her and I are fine.
I'll get my advice some place else. Have a good day guys.

You got the responses that you did because in general, stepparent or significant others tend to make issues with children more complicated. Particularly when those stepparent or significant others cause the parent to move away from the child.

However, my take on your original question is that you don't want to be responsible for making things more complicated for your boyfriend, and are asking for reassurance that you won't.

Your new career is going to make things more complicated...period. You are going to have to live with that. However, your boyfriend is telling you the truth. If he handles things properly the schedule will be re-done based on the distance.

 

[dbd]

okay,if a natural parent does not show a sincere intrest in a child,whether because they do not visit them,or provide for a childs welfare,then a parent may lose their parental rights,which would severe the ties of connection completly.
If on the other hand a sincere effort to over come any obsticles placed in the way between the parent and child relationship by the parent exists,then visitation cannot be based upon a military absence.
Please note however that durring the Gulf war,a soldier whom was in an Iraqi prison,was sent to jail when he was released and sent home,because he failed to pay his child support while as a POW.
This shows you,that one cannot be too carefull in preserving your right as a parent,least ye may find yourself within the gordian knot(gordian knot excerpted from my home brewed video game).

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

okay,if a natural parent does not show a sincere intrest in a child,whether because they do not visit them,or provide for a childs welfare,then a parent may lose their parental rights,which would severe the ties of connection completly.
If on the other hand a sincere effort to over come any obsticles placed in the way between the parent and child relationship by the parent exists,then visitation cannot be based upon a military absence.
Please note however that durring the Gulf war,a soldier whom was in an Iraqi prison,was sent to jail when he was released and sent home,because he failed to pay his child support while as a POW.
This shows you,that one cannot be too carefull in preserving your right as a parent,least ye may find yourself within the gordian knot(gordian knot excerpted from my home brewed video game).

What the heck are you talking about? You are giving crap advice to everyone you post to. Did you even read the question?

 

[Ohiogal]

okay,if a natural parent does not show a sincere intrest in a child,whether because they do not visit them,or provide for a childs welfare,then a parent may lose their parental rights,which would severe the ties of connection completly.
If on the other hand a sincere effort to over come any obsticles placed in the way between the parent and child relationship by the parent exists,then visitation cannot be based upon a military absence.
Please note however that durring the Gulf war,a soldier whom was in an Iraqi prison,was sent to jail when he was released and sent home,because he failed to pay his child support while as a POW.
This shows you,that one cannot be too carefull in preserving your right as a parent,least ye may find yourself within the gordian knot(gordian knot excerpted from my home brewed video game).

And OP is not a natural parent (whatever the heck you are talking about because here we talk about mom and dad and we mean the legal parents) so that doesn't apply. As for losing parental rights -- that has nothing to do with not seeing a child OR providing for their welfare. (I'll let you figure out why you are wrong here). Moving on, dad is not in the military. Hence dad does not have a military absence to use as an excuse -- not that that would be an excuse but in your world apparently it is.
As for the POW -- case citation please. I would love to read this case and see exactly why he was jailed. If you can't cite it, don't state it.
And please, KNOCK OFF THE MISINFORMATION! I have a full time job and cleaning up the bs you write is NOT it.