Moving out of state

[MominRI]

What is the name of your state? Rhode Island

Hi I have a 3 year old son me and his father were never married. He has his fathers last name and he is on his birth certificate. We do not have any child support or visitation orders in place. I am currently selling my house and planning to move out of state for economical reasons. I consulted with a lawyer who basically said all i have to do is inform his father in writing that I am leaving and if im not pursueing child support there is nothing else i need to do. Im just not so sure this is correct. Im heistant to just try and leave without having a legal agreement in place in fear of having to come back and start all over. I need advice on what I should do and if it is legal since in rhode island since we were never married i have physical custody. His father is a good man and I in no way am trying to take him away from him and would offer to pay for him to come and visit a few times a year and allow him to come anytime he wanted. I just want to beable to make a smooth move out of state. I have another child who i have full custody of and i want this transition to be as smooth as possible for both my children.
-Mom in Rhode Island

 

[snostar]

Is there a custody order?

 

[MominRI]

Custody order

There is no custody order. There is no order of any kind. We we never married and have just been making arrangements over the last 3.5 years as we see fit. He takes him 2-3 times per week usually on a specific day unless other wise discussed. He pays for his medical and we both splitt all other expenses such as child care clothes etc. He spends 75% of his time with me and the other 25% with his father. But again there are no orders in place since there hasnt been a need for one as of yet.

 

[Joke]

Since there are no orders in effect, your attorney is right, however, what he may have failed to tell you is that the father can petition the courts to have you bring that child back if he wants to fight the move.

Since he IS excercizing some visitation, it is anyone's guess on how the court would respond to his request.

The best option if you want to avoid court is trying to convince Dad that the move is beneficial and GET IT IN WRITING that he says it is OK to move.

Otherwise, the safest option is getting it court approved...the catch 22 may be that the court denies it if Dad fights it.

Does this help any or did I confuse matters more?

 

[snostar]

Did the attorney's you asked know that there were no court orders? You can file for custody now in RI. If you move, you will have to wait at least 6 months in order to establish residency in the new state before filing. During those 6 months Dad can file in RI, and that will be where you will have to return for court appearances. Also know, that any custody/visitation agreement not signed by a judge is basically worthless.

 

[MominRI]

it helps i think the best thing is for me to just go ahead and put a visitation order into affect which states my intentions to move and my plans to allow him to visit his son. And pray for the best. They obviously cannot stop me from moving but I would like to beable to take my son with me. The thing is i have some reasons i want to move. 1 is im selling my house due to the high cost and a break up with my fiance and the house prices have risen beyond belief in this state as well as apartment rentals. They just arent affordable for a one person household. I want to beable to provide my children with the same environment they are accustomed to once this house is sold. Which I cannot do in this state its too expensive. I just pray that the judge doesnt rule in his favor.

 

[snostar]

Joke - are you a RI attorney? I have been under the understanding that as long as no court orders exsist, parental notification is not necessary. I am not sure however about RI, which is why I ask.

 

[MominRI]

snostar* as far as all the research I have done and everything the attorney has told me all I have to do is inform him of my move and that is out of moral obligation not legal. But like previously discussed above one of the thinkes joke mentioned is what I am nervous of I dont want to go down there get settled and then have to uproot back up to rhode island to go to court. Im not sure I would have to do that because Me and the chilkd would be in Georgia but since im not a lawyer i really dont know if they can make me do that. I think he has to come to Georgia but im really unsure. But I just want to go about everything the right way to get it done and not have to deal with it over and over again. I have about 3-4 months to get all this in place before I move so I am taking my time and thinking it all through before I send him court papers that arent necesary you know. Well any advice is helpful!

 

[snostar]

I didn't think there was a legal obligation...re read my reply(#5).

 

[MominRI]

the attorney agrees with that he told me Just go and have a good life lol. But im just scared he is going to sue the pants off me once im there and make me come back. I have every intention of making sure he can visit his son I just dont want to be forced to live here to make sure that happens. People move all the time and if I wasnt so caring I would just leave and not even think twice but I want to make sure legally its taken care of and that his father doesnt feel like im trying to take him away from him eventhough im moving to another state.