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Hamper

Guest
What is the name of your state? Arkansas

I have seen this question before, but this situation is a little different. In Arkansas, an unwed mother has sole and complete custody until father goes to court to establish visitation, support, or fight for custody.

My daughter is joining service and will be moving out of state. The father has only seen granddaughter a couple of times since she was born and doesn't pay support. He has not taken daughter to court to establish anything. He is listed on birth certificate and has signed affadivit of paternity.

Does my daughter have to notify him of her intent to move?

Thanks!
 


stealth2

Under the Radar Member
The only thing I can really suggest is to try and get a consultation with an attorney and find out what she can and cannot legally do. Sorry I don't have a better answer for you.
 
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nobodyimportant

Guest
Just curious...you said he has only seen the child a few times yet fail to mention how old the child is.
 
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Hamper

Guest
I'm sorry......she will be 5 months old tomorrow. He came to the hospital when she was born, came to the house to visit 1 week later and then again 2 months later. We haven't heard from him since.
 
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nobodyimportant

Guest
ok first off without you answering this sounds like a very young couple

and I have seen young dads scared to death over this and they rarely get the support a mom does. They just run around confused.

Ok this isn't legal advice. Because honestly legally your daughter probably could just move away.

Morally though I think that is so wrong. He WAS there at the child's birth he has been there...it has only been a few months I think this is a young person...oh and correct me if I am wrong if the guy is 30 I take it back.

But morally, the guy has shown that he does care about the child, and I think it would be wrong to not let him know. If he is that scared of being a parent, he probably won't fight, but to have his child just disappear without him knowing...do you really think that sets up any good future between them regarding the child? No it sets up a basis for mistrust. And this child regardless of what you wish is both of theirs and the battles can go on forever, so it would be best to start off on the right foot.

He has not paid CS well has she filed for it? She is equally wrong there! Responsiblility falls on BOTH their parts.

You may not like what I say, but I think if she just slinks off with the child he will feel betrayed that is not good. Do what is right. Otherwise be prepared for years of battle.
 
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nobodyimportant

Guest
Ok while I was writing that you answered the age thing.

Then NO NO NO

it isn't right

legally could be and I guess that is all you care about.

But let me remind you. He is adressed as the father LEGALLY. So no matter what he is part of that child's life until 18. He can create legal battles regarding this child forever whether custody or child support of visitation. She can move with the child but he can still fight visitation, and her running off without telling him doesn't portray her very well if he pursues that venue. Her moving away does NOT remove him from their lives. Hate to tell you they are attached for at least 18 years minus 5 months.

Your choice on how you want to start that off...with deception or honesty.
 

haiku

Senior Member
I was under the immpresion that when a single parent goes to boot camp they must sign over temporary custody to someone else? normally the other parent?
 
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nobodyimportant

Guest
interesting point haiku...

but then again I have seen posts recently where people don't have to tell the parent that they are incarcerated for months so I don't know.

Very interesting point.......
 
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Hamper

Guest
No, I don't want to keep my granddaughter from her daddy or his family....I never have and I never will. I am in contact with his mother very very often and have opened my home to them to come visit her. None of them seem interested in getting involved.

My daughter did go through CSE. The day the papers were received, he quit his job. He moved from the apartment they shared together, and his mom won't tell us where he is. We do know all their furniture is in storage.

When you said morally speaking the guy has shown that he cares about the child, he really honestly hasn't. His mother from time to time will show some interest, but not enough to come visit her. When he did come to visit, other than the hospital, it was when he brought his little brother to see his new niece.....and then with his mother. Both times, I would say he was here for about 2 hours, spending over half that time outside smoking (won't let anybody smoke around my kids). When my daughter started dating someone else, he told her he was done. Whatever he meant by that is not exactly clear, I just know we haven't heard from him since.

I know all this explanation has nothing to do with my original question, but I wanted to make sure you understood. His mother is going to court next week....her home was raided, found over $48,000 in cash, 22 firearms and about 10 pounds of marijuana. I don't know what kind of sentence she is looking at, but she is our only link with her son at this time, and she will not tell us where he lives or works.

Thanks for your response, though, I do appreciate it!
 
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Hamper

Guest
haiku.....my daugther is now married. She is joining the Air Force. Her recruiter told us that since she has sole custody, it is assumed the child will be with the step father and she doesn't have to sign over custody.

However, while she at boot camp, my granddaughter will be staying with me. It was afterward that I was concerned about.

Thanks for responding!
 
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nobodyimportant

Guest
let me get this straight............

ok.........they met were together had this baby...but during this turmoil she also dumped him adding to the distress of this....

She is already married to someone new and the child is 5 months old.......and you wonder why he isn't making regular visists?

PLEASE!

amazing what comes out when questions are asked. Yes your pure innocent daughter has done nothing wrong...had this guy show up for the child's birth but hey she is already planning on getting married...well geeeeeesh

Sure it sounds like he isn't from the greatest home but sorry if she is already married with a 5 month old baby there are things to wonder about her side too!

Good luck you will make of this what you want. I just pity the poor child.

it is assumed the child will be with the step father and she doesn't have to sign over custody.
why isn't the child going to be with the step father? Since that is what you are letting them believe?

Geesh you ALL need help!
 
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