Must I continue to support him?

[dncr]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My husband and I quit our jobs to be self employed in 2008. He has never in that time held up his end of the partnership. Didn't bring in new business, was flaky about doing the work I assigned him, etc. He started looking for a job in 2009, but half-heartedly. For this and other reasons that are irrelevant, I told him I want a divorce. He of course decided that he would now suddenly work really hard at finding a job in hopes of reconciliation, but it's too late for me.

Being that he's A) catholic and doesn't believe in divorce and B) unable to support himself because he doesn't have a job (he makes about enough to eat on with the little bit of work I've funneled to him that he actually does), he is refusing to leave. I could just move out, but then he would default on our lease within a month and not only end up out on the street, but also harm the credit and rental history for us AND for my mom, who is on the lease but no longer lives here. The lease goes until next January. Do I have any options here?

He also threw in my face that in California the wage-earning spouse must provide for the non-wage earning spouse. I could understand this if he had been a house husband his whole life raising the kids and doing the housework, but in the case of an able-bodied/minded man with marketable skills who can't seem to apply himself, am I stuck providing for him forever?

My only daughter is grown and out of the house, so there is no issue there.

Thanks for any advice you can offer.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My husband and I quit our jobs to be self employed in 2008. He has never in that time held up his end of the partnership. Didn't bring in new business, was flaky about doing the work I assigned him, etc. He started looking for a job in 2009, but half-heartedly. For this and other reasons that are irrelevant, I told him I want a divorce. He of course decided that he would now suddenly work really hard at finding a job in hopes of reconciliation, but it's too late for me.

Being that he's A) catholic and doesn't believe in divorce and B) unable to support himself because he doesn't have a job (he makes about enough to eat on with the little bit of work I've funneled to him that he actually does), he is refusing to leave. I could just move out, but then he would default on our lease within a month and not only end up out on the street, but also harm the credit and rental history for us AND for my mom, who is on the lease but no longer lives here. The lease goes until next January. Do I have any options here?

He also threw in my face that in California the wage-earning spouse must provide for the non-wage earning spouse. I could understand this if he had been a house husband his whole life raising the kids and doing the housework, but in the case of an able-bodied/minded man with marketable skills who can't seem to apply himself, am I stuck providing for him forever?

My only daughter is grown and out of the house, so there is no issue there.

Thanks for any advice you can offer.

Amusingly enough, I found this law on a "womens rights" site. However, ladies, it applies to both genders.

http://oag.ca.gov/publications/womansrights/ch6

 

[sandyclaus]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My husband and I quit our jobs to be self employed in 2008. He has never in that time held up his end of the partnership. Didn't bring in new business, was flaky about doing the work I assigned him, etc. He started looking for a job in 2009, but half-heartedly. For this and other reasons that are irrelevant, I told him I want a divorce. He of course decided that he would now suddenly work really hard at finding a job in hopes of reconciliation, but it's too late for me.

Being that he's A) catholic and doesn't believe in divorce and B) unable to support himself because he doesn't have a job (he makes about enough to eat on with the little bit of work I've funneled to him that he actually does), he is refusing to leave. I could just move out, but then he would default on our lease within a month and not only end up out on the street, but also harm the credit and rental history for us AND for my mom, who is on the lease but no longer lives here. The lease goes until next January. Do I have any options here?

He also threw in my face that in California the wage-earning spouse must provide for the non-wage earning spouse. I could understand this if he had been a house husband his whole life raising the kids and doing the housework, but in the case of an able-bodied/minded man with marketable skills who can't seem to apply himself, am I stuck providing for him forever?

My only daughter is grown and out of the house, so there is no issue there.

Thanks for any advice you can offer.

The reality is that if you have supported him for the majority of the marriage, then you may well have to continue supporting him after the divorce - at least for a little while. Spousal maintenance, if deemed appropriate by the courts, would usually only be granted for no longer than a period equal to 1/2 the lifetime of the marriage. The goal to spousal support is to support the other spouse for a long enough period to allow them to become self-sufficient. That means enough time to get a better paying job, or go back to school to earn the degree that will allow them to get the better paying job.

The hard truth is that if you and your mother share the lease with him, then divorcing won't remove that financial obligation from either of you. In order to preserve your credit, you probably want to stay in the same home with him.

I would certainly consult with a divorce attorney to get a feel for what you can expect under your specific circumstances.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

If he is not good enough in the sack and you are beyond the "can't live without" stage, you are better off to cut your losses now. Worry about whether you are going to pay alimony later. If you are truly successful, the equity you acquire in your business, in the future, will all be going to you.

 

[dncr]

We have been married for 11 years and I've been supporting him for 4.

Until a court order is provided, do I have the legal right to evict him if he is not paying his share of rent?

 

[Zigner]

You are working together at a partnership. You are not "supporting him" - the business is.

 

[dncr]

You are working together at a partnership. You are not "supporting him" - the business is.

You can argue semantics all you want, but it doesn't change the face that I have worked my ass off for the past four years while he sat on his. He is not contributing his half of the partnership.

 

[Zigner]

You can argue semantics all you want, but it doesn't change the face that I have worked my ass off for the past four years while he sat on his. He is not contributing his half of the partnership.

You head on in to court and argue that and you are virtually guaranteeing lifetime alimony.

 

[Silverplum]

You can argue semantics all you want, but it doesn't change the face that I have worked my ass off for the past four years while he sat on his. He is not contributing his half of the partnership.

When you deal with people, is that the way you speak to them?

 

[Silverplum]

We have been married for 11 years and I've been supporting him for 4.

Until a court order is provided, do I have the legal right to evict him if he is not paying his share of rent?

Evict your husband from the marital home? Nope.

I strongly suspect you have not read the helpful link I provided.

 

[dncr]

I'm not speaking to him. I'm asking for advice here about legal responsibilities and obligations.

 

[dncr]

Evict your husband from the marital home? Nope.

I strongly suspect you have not read the helpful link I provided.

I'm reading it right now. It is very long. Meanwhile, I'm responding to other responders.

 

[Silverplum]

I'm not speaking to him. I'm asking for advice here about legal responsibilities and obligations.

I know that.

You're speaking to (typing to) people from whom you want free help: show a little respect with your language, please.

 

[Zigner]

I'm not speaking to him. I'm asking for advice here about legal responsibilities and obligations.

There's none so blind as those that will not see...

 

[sandyclaus]

We have been married for 11 years and I've been supporting him for 4.

Until a court order is provided, do I have the legal right to evict him if he is not paying his share of rent?

Not only is the place you live the marital home, but as you have already stated, both you and your husband, as well as your mother, are all named tenants on the lease. You CANNOT evict a roommate, especially when you share a lease. If his name didn't appear on the lease as a tenant, it is also the marital home, and that would ALSO prevent you from evicting him.

You can argue semantics all you want, but it doesn't change the face that I have worked my ass off for the past four years while he sat on his. He is not contributing his half of the partnership.

You CHOSE to remain in a partnership with someone who wasn't contributing an equal share of work to the business. As 1/2 of that partnership, he entitled to a share of the proceeds, regardless of who earned the money. That's YOUR fault for continuing a business partnership with someone who isn't contributing equally. The solution to that would be to dissolve the partnership, which could mean you buying him out, or him buying YOU out. You'll need to discuss the particulars with a business attorney.