My ex ruined my life and took the only things I love, my childern

[petite_mom]

I posted a message on here and never got any replies. I am from Utah, I have 3 kids with my ex, my oldest is not his biological child and we were never married. In Dec he filed a temporary protective order against me in hopes that it would scare me to stay with him. He lied to the courts and said things that were untrue. At the time this all happened I was a stay at home mom, so when he placed the order in effect I was told I had to leave my home and kids. We went to court a week later and the judge decided that we each had to prove our case in a trial. My ex has postponed it since then and I haven't got a way to afford an attorney. I had to also move from my home town in southern Ut to a northern UT town, because I had no where to go. I need some advice .I have no money, no transpertation and no idea how to fight my ex. Iif there is any one out there who can help me or at least tell me what I can do I would be so grateful I would even like some one just to talk to, or any one who knows anything about protective orders. Thank you in advance

 

[mad_in_Michigan]

I am not sure if this is correct but you can try it. If the protective order is only against the husband and dosent say you cant be around the kids then go and get them from school and then go dircetly to your child support enforcment unit and file for child support and custody.

 

[petite_mom]

Thank you for your advise,but the problem is he put the order against me so I can't be around my kids. He lied to get it, he also told the courts that we was my oldest childs step father which he is not and until he quits postponing the hearing I'm kinda of at a loss. I was told once that the order he put in place was only good for 150 days which on may 11th it will be 150 days, but i don't know what i can do after that.

 

[GirlinOz]

I can really understand ....

Hi i can really understand what you are going through my ex took our 2 kids out of school while i was working in the schools tuckshop ( u call it a cafeteria/ canteen ). He took the house ,the money, the cars but that doesn't mean anything to me he took the things that knew would hurt me the most " my kids " as he thought i would go back to him as he had the leverage look at my thread.... GirlInOz i am re-applying to get my children back as to me it is my moral duty to do so an as a Mum , it's even got to the stage where i am thinking of getting fake ID for the 3 of us an just leaving the country ( i am in Australia ) as the law courts here are so slack hope u get some good news soon .

What i normally do is everytime something happens i write a letter of how i am feeling an what happened put it in an envelope name an date it, some are to my daughter some are to my son seal it then put it away in a safe place , so then years from now they can read what occurred an how i was feeling believe me it helps you

 

[leasaw2]

You're not alone

I am a mother also trying to fight for my childs rights and mine. I have been fighting an uphill battle in a custody case for over three years now. I know the heartbreak it is to lose access to the only thing that really matters, your kids. I want you to know that you are not alone and that if you look around, you will find strength and courage in places you didn't think possible. I encourage you to be an advocate for yourself and your kids any way possible. This is a good step, reaching out. I have learned that the family laws in my state are lacking and are not here to solve your problems, they are only here to uphold the law. It is up to you to do the work and I know how hard that is when you have been emotional beat up. Keep searching for all the knowledge you can get, my biggest goal is to create a new system where the children are protected and have a voice to shout for them that they can have parents who will do the right thing for them.
God bless

 

[petite_mom]

thank you to every one who replied if it did nothing more it let me know i'm not a lone, to all you mothers in the same situation I wish you all the best and as I have been trying not to do , don't give up thank you and god bless you all

 

[petite_mom]

If there is any one who has a lot of knowledge on protective orders I need some information, not on how to get them against some one because the order is against me, obtianed by my ex who lied to get it, basicly just a way to spite me. If any one knows anthing about them could you please let me know? thanks

 

[L R's Mom]

the laws these days seem unbelievable. i had to tape record my husband threatening me and harassing me in order to get a single police officer to arrest the jerk much less to allow me any issuance of some sort of court order of protection which had been much needed for months.
I know this has nothing much to do with your current situation, but to say that I later found out he was trying to obtain one against me, although with no such luck.
But even so, what disgusts me more is how this jerk gets not only his visitation rights with his children because God forbid we should deny him, he also comes to the house he's been courted ordered to stay away from to pick them up with no police or anyone to supervise and continues to harrass me without proof again on my part.
i know my situation seems reversed, but i question our legal system, children need their mother. Please pursue your visitation rights. if you can't afford an attorney the courts should be able to provide you with one. i hope you prevail and i'd like to let you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.
you are the first person i've felt compelled to answer.

 

[petite_mom]

I don't get it if he has a court order to stay away then why does he not get arrested? I have a bogas order against me and I haven't seen my kids in almost 5 months, i was told it was a temp order for 150 days and on the 11th of this month the 150 days is up so what can Igo get my kids or could he have had it extended and i not know and if the order only gave him temp custody for 150 days who will have cusdoty after? if any one has any answers it would really help.

 

[petite_mom]

Protective orders?

I need some information on temoparary protective orders, not how to get them but how to deal with them when the order is against you. My ex put one against me so I can't see my children I need to know how long they last and what I can do once one has expired. If anyone can answer a few questions for me it would help thank you in advance

 

[nailtech]

(i) a statement notifying the petitioner for an ex parte protective order that knowing falsification of any statement or information provided for the purpose of obtaining a protective order may subject the petitioner to felony prosecution;
(ii) a separate portion of the form for those provisions, the violation of which is a criminal offense, and a separate portion for those provisions, the violation of which is a civil violation, as provided in Subsection 30-6-4.2(5);

from this link Utah protective orders

 

[petite_mom]

I just wanted to say thank you nailtech I have been looking for that infomation.

 

[nailtech]

Your welcome, glad I could help......

 

[A.J.HASEK]

LR children also need there fathers

 

[petite_mom]

A.J. Of course children need thier Father, they need thier Mother too, what they don't need is a parent that purposly keeps the child from one parent or the other, unless there is a pretty good reason for keeping the child from them. In my case I am not wanting to keep my children from their dad, but I also don't want him to keep them from me either.I cannot complain about him as a Dad he is great, I was lucky, when my kids were still babies he was always there to help, changed dipers, feed them, bathed them, and even got up in the middle of the night with them, but what he has done to me and them was wrong I didn't deserve what he did to me and I don't know if he knows he is hurting them too. I hope he realizes it soon, if there is a way to deal with the situation on our own I'm all for it.