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My Girlfriend's Problem

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BIGSCARY

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?FLORIDA
THIS IS ACTUALLY MULTI-PARTED. FIRST OFF I AM NOW DATEING A GIRL AND SHE HAS BEEN WITH A GUY FOR 5 1/2 YEARS ( WHO IS A CONVICTED FELONY DRUG DEALER AND HAS NOT HAD A JOB FOR 5 YEARS) AND HAS A CHILD WITH HIM. I AM 25 AND SHE IS 22 HER CHILD IS 3. SHE RECENTLY BROKE IT OFF WITH HIM AND STARTED DATEING ME, WELL MY GIRLFRIEND AND HER EX. LIVE TOGETHER IN MY GIRLFRIEND'S HOUSE ,AND HIS MOTHER IS WORKING FOR THE LOCAL POLICE DEPARTMENT, HIS PARENTS HAVE LEGAL CUSTODY OF THEIR CHILD FOR INSURANCE PURPOSES, THEY RECENTLY TOLD HER THAT SHE COULD NOT DATE ME ANYMORE BECAUSE OF THE WAY I LOOK (THEY HAVE NEVER EVEN MET ME) OR THEY WOULD NOT ALLOW HER TO EVER SEE HER CHILD AGAIN. I AM 6'6 305LBS I HAVE TATTOO'S AND PIERCINGS BUT THEY SAID THE WAY I LOOK THEY DO NOT WANT ME AROUND MY GIRLFRIEND'S SON, BUT MY GIRLFRIEND HAS NO PROBLEM WITH THE WAY I LOOK, I HAVE NO CRIMINAL BACKGROUND I DO NOT EVEN HAVE ANY TRAFFIC TICKETS AGAINST ME, BUT THEY ARE AFRAID THAT I AM A CRIMINAL AND A BAD PERSON (ACTUALLY SAID THAT TO HER) JUDGED SOLELY ON THE DESCRIPTION MY GIRLFRIEND GAVE THEM ( WHICH WAS ONLY THAT I LOOK LIKE A BIKER) I HAVE HAD A JOB SINCE I WAS 12 AND HAVE HELD DOWN MY CURRENT JOB FOR 4 YEARS. THEY TOLD HER SHE IS NOT ALLOWED TO SEE ME OUTSIDE OF HER JOB AND WE ARE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS. ALSO THEY SAID THAT SHE MUST HAVE HER EX CONTINUE TO LIVE WITH HER EVEN IN THE SAME ROOM AND BED, OR SHE WOULD LOOSE HER CHILD,( THE HOUSE AND THE UTILITIES THERE ARE ALL IN MY GIRLFRIEND'S NAME AND SHE HAS A JOB AND SUPPORTS HER CHILD AND HER EX)) OR SHE CAN MOVE IN WITH THEM AND QUIT HER JOB AND NOT TALK TO ME ANYMORE OR LOOSE HER SON, BASICALLY BECAUSE OF MY PHYSICAL LOOKS ALONE THEY DO NOT WANT HER WITH ME OR THEIR GRANDCHILD AROUND ME BECAUSE THEY CONSIDER ME A BAD PERSON, (I AM A TRUELY NICE GUY A GENTLE GIANT IF YOU WOULD) THEY ALSO CALL HER A BINGE DRINKER (WHICH SHE IS NOT, SHE WILL DRINK 1 OR 2 TIMES A WEEK AND BECOME SOMETIMES BECOME INTOXICATED) AND THAT THEY WILL TAKE HER TO COURT WITH ALL THIS IF SHE DOES NOT DO AS THEY SAY (THEY TOLD HER TO GO TO ALCOHOLIC REHAB SO THEY CAN SHOW THE COURT SHE IS GETTING HELP THOUGH, I TOLD HER NOT TO BECAUSE DOING SO IS SAYING BASICALLY SHE ADMITS TO HAVING A PROBLEM SHE DOES NOT HAVE)CAN THEY REALLY SAY THAT ABOUT ME AND GET AWAY WITH IT? AND CAN THEY DO THAT TO HER?
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
BIGSCARY said:
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?FLORIDA
THIS IS ACTUALLY MULTI-PARTED. FIRST OFF I AM NOW DATEING A GIRL AND SHE HAS BEEN WITH A GUY FOR 5 1/2 YEARS ( WHO IS A CONVICTED FELONY DRUG DEALER AND HAS NOT HAD A JOB FOR 5 YEARS) AND HAS A CHILD WITH HIM. I AM 25 AND SHE IS 22 HER CHILD IS 3. SHE RECENTLY BROKE IT OFF WITH HIM AND STARTED DATEING ME, WELL MY GIRLFRIEND AND HER EX. LIVE TOGETHER IN MY GIRLFRIEND'S HOUSE ,AND HIS MOTHER IS WORKING FOR THE LOCAL POLICE DEPARTMENT, HIS PARENTS HAVE LEGAL CUSTODY OF THEIR CHILD FOR INSURANCE PURPOSES, THEY RECENTLY TOLD HER THAT SHE COULD NOT DATE ME ANYMORE BECAUSE OF THE WAY I LOOK (THEY HAVE NEVER EVEN MET ME) OR THEY WOULD NOT ALLOW HER TO EVER SEE HER CHILD AGAIN. I AM 6'6 305LBS I HAVE TATTOO'S AND PIERCINGS BUT THEY SAID THE WAY I LOOK THEY DO NOT WANT ME AROUND MY GIRLFRIEND'S SON, BUT MY GIRLFRIEND HAS NO PROBLEM WITH THE WAY I LOOK, I HAVE NO CRIMINAL BACKGROUND I DO NOT EVEN HAVE ANY TRAFFIC TICKETS AGAINST ME, BUT THEY ARE AFRAID THAT I AM A CRIMINAL AND A BAD PERSON (ACTUALLY SAID THAT TO HER) JUDGED SOLELY ON THE DESCRIPTION MY GIRLFRIEND GAVE THEM ( WHICH WAS ONLY THAT I LOOK LIKE A BIKER) I HAVE HAD A JOB SINCE I WAS 12 AND HAVE HELD DOWN MY CURRENT JOB FOR 4 YEARS. THEY TOLD HER SHE IS NOT ALLOWED TO SEE ME OUTSIDE OF HER JOB AND WE ARE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS. ALSO THEY SAID THAT SHE MUST HAVE HER EX CONTINUE TO LIVE WITH HER EVEN IN THE SAME ROOM AND BED, OR SHE WOULD LOOSE HER CHILD,( THE HOUSE AND THE UTILITIES THERE ARE ALL IN MY GIRLFRIEND'S NAME AND SHE HAS A JOB AND SUPPORTS HER CHILD AND HER EX)) OR SHE CAN MOVE IN WITH THEM AND QUIT HER JOB AND NOT TALK TO ME ANYMORE OR LOOSE HER SON, BASICALLY BECAUSE OF MY PHYSICAL LOOKS ALONE THEY DO NOT WANT HER WITH ME OR THEIR GRANDCHILD AROUND ME BECAUSE THEY CONSIDER ME A BAD PERSON, (I AM A TRUELY NICE GUY A GENTLE GIANT IF YOU WOULD) THEY ALSO CALL HER A BINGE DRINKER (WHICH SHE IS NOT, SHE WILL DRINK 1 OR 2 TIMES A WEEK AND BECOME SOMETIMES BECOME INTOXICATED) AND THAT THEY WILL TAKE HER TO COURT WITH ALL THIS IF SHE DOES NOT DO AS THEY SAY (THEY TOLD HER TO GO TO ALCOHOLIC REHAB SO THEY CAN SHOW THE COURT SHE IS GETTING HELP THOUGH, I TOLD HER NOT TO BECAUSE DOING SO IS SAYING BASICALLY SHE ADMITS TO HAVING A PROBLEM SHE DOES NOT HAVE)CAN THEY REALLY SAY THAT ABOUT ME AND GET AWAY WITH IT? AND CAN THEY DO THAT TO HER?
Yep, they really can do that to her because she made the very foolish mistake of giving them custody of her child for "insurance purposes".

She needs to hire an attorney and go to court to get back custody of her child.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
and child support which will include health insurance something her ex not his parents should have been providing all along, which means, he needs to get a real job, not deal drugs, he can move back home with his parents. If your gf is getting drunk several times a week, then she does have a problem and should at least stop drinking and join AA.

You do realize that her dependence in this situation may not really make her free to have another relationship until this is settled and the ex is out of her house. But she needs to think of her child first.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
And make darn sure you DON'T have a sexual relationship with her, because if she is drinking to that extent and shoyld get pregnant, she will likely produce a child (YOUR child) that suffers from Fetal Alchohol Syndrome and will be negatively impacted for life.
 

keith46

Junior Member
Confused

:( Happy new am from virginia and am sorry to hear about the matter of how one looks /at one time it was a matter one race.I have a matter to be looked at the matter of desertion & aduletry my wife & i separated for 3months &within the 3months she became pregnant by another man /& her mother thinks & beleaves its my fault her mother also said its because i didn;t suppost my wife but my wife had work the hold marriage one time & that was for only two days myself ive work two job to try & have a place for my wife & myself she wouldn't work i feel its not my fault only about the place but who fault is it about her becoming pregnant/in virginia the law said the husband most suppost the child my question is do they mean the child of married parties are a child out of wedlock also.CONFUSED
keith46. :( :( :( :( :(
 

BIGSCARY

Junior Member
Hmmm

SORRY IF MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON IS STUCK AND I HAVE NOT GOTTEN A NEW KEYBOARD YET AND SEEMS TO BOTHER EVERYONE, MY QUESTION WAS BASICALLY CAN THEY ACTUALLY TELL HER WHAT TO DO OR LOOSE HER KID LIKE THAT? AND AS FAR AS THE PERSON THAT SAID SHE NEEDS TO GET IN AA YOU ARE JUDGING THE SAME AS THEY DID SHE DOES NOT GET DRUNK SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK AS I STATED, SHE DRINKS A COUPLE DAYS A WEEK 2 MAX AND MAY SOMETIMES BECOME INTOXICATED I DID NOT SAY ALWAYS. THANKS FOR THE RESPONSES BUT NONE HAVE BEEN ANY HELP I THOUGHT I WOULD GET A RESPONSE FROM AN ACTUAL LAWYER. :mad:
 

BIGSCARY

Junior Member
Don't Be So Judgemental

This Is Not A Forum Of If People Are Drunks Or Alcoholic's So Don't Judge People Like That. If Someone Drinks A Couple Times A Week That Is Not A Problem. She Is 22 Thats What Young People Do I Am Sorry If Everyone That Is Alot Older Does Not Drink Anymore Than Once A Year But That Is Why Their Is Bar's People Drink A Having A Couple Drinks A Week Is Not A Problem. No She Does Not Need Aa!
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
BIGSCARY said:
This Is Not A Forum Of If People Are Drunks Or Alcoholic's So Don't Judge People Like That. If Someone Drinks A Couple Times A Week That Is Not A Problem. She Is 22 Thats What Young People Do I Am Sorry If Everyone That Is Alot Older Does Not Drink Anymore Than Once A Year But That Is Why Their Is Bar's People Drink A Having A Couple Drinks A Week Is Not A Problem. No She Does Not Need Aa!
And some of us have lived in Europe and have gotten into the habit of having wine with dinner on a normal basis, which doesn't make us alcoholics either. However, IF (and it isn't necessarily the case for the OPs girlfriend) someone gets falling down drunk twice a week it could indicate a problem....even if they are only 22.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
However, getting drunk a few times a week may cause her problems when it comes to her kid. Is it really worth it? I have a glass of wine with dinner every night - sometimes two. But there is never a time when I have the kids that I am unsafe to drive should I have to take them somewhere unexpectedly. If she's doing this when she has custody of her child - it could be an issue.
 

gretchensanders

Junior Member
hey mom and dad how about myob?

your gf needs to tell her parents to butt out-that is still HER child,and she has a right to be in the childs life.her parents are trying to control her thru threats and intimidation.who she dates is none of her parents business,shes an adult,and can make her own deicsions.
 

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