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my husband wants to see his kids

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Senior Member
We are in CA-my husbands ex and his 13 yr old twins are in Oregon-she did move them without my husbands written permission nor did she let the court know-he did not know he could do anything about it at the time.
I wish I had a nickle for every time the ex has lied or done something to hurt her children or my husband-I would be very rich!
Anyway-current situation-ex filed to increase support and change of venue, we responded by not accepting this and asking for custody and if nothing else, a change in original visitation agreement which is "reasonable visitation that the ex has to agree with"-we had actually wanted to do this last summer when she created a problem but just recently were able to afford an attorney and were able to pay the court fees. My husband has seen his kids a total of about 10 hours in the last 2 years when the ex came here to visit her mother-she told us she was doing us a favor by letting us see them during this time.
My husband and ex had mediation meeting (her by phone) a couple of weeks ago-ex lost her temper and tried to lie her way out of a bunch of stuff (fortunately, my husband had copies of emails she sent which proved she was lying:she even swore at the mediator!) The ex even tried to have the kids included in on this phone meeting-she tried to use her computer for the call (where everyone can hear what is said)-the mediator heard the kids in the background and told her they were not to be a part of this-told her to get a phone card and call back-this all delayed the meeting by about 45 minutes-she then told the mediator that the kids left for school. I believe they were there (since school starts at 8:28 and this whole phone call business started at 8:50)and we are asking their school to send us their attendance records to see if they showed up or were late.
Now, the mediator is requesting an interview with the kids the day before court-we are assuming this is because they are taking our request for custody seriously.
Originally, the ex thought she could bring the kids into court for our court date-the mediator told her they would not be allowed in court-she then said she would not let them come here at all. Well, that is all changed now since the court requested the interview and we know they will be here.
Here's my question-would it be wise for my husband to ask her to see the kids before court date? We think they will be here at least a couple of days before. This may be the only time he gets to see them. We are hoping the judge will just let them stay for the summer, but you never know-and the ex may just take off with them anyways.
Sorry so long-I could go on for days about all the things this person has done over the last 4 years-and my main concern has always been these kids.


Senior Member
are you still in touch with the mediator? maybe you could put the request through the mediator to the mother.

for her to maintain custody - she has to show that she is willing to "nuture the relationship between the child and the NCP." she is definitely not willing to do that. your examples would be that the children were present during the mediators call, that she insists on bringing the children to court when the mediator has requested that they not be present (kids definitely don't need to hear alot of these details). if you ask - through the mediator - to see the children and she refuses, then she is proving that she isn't willing to nuture the relationship. eyewittness - the mediator.


Senior Member
Thanks for the advice-we did contact the mediator and she told us we have to got through the family court facilitator, which we might do. In the mean time, my husband has emailed her a request to see the kids before their interview, so we will see what happens. I'm just afraid that if she doesn't like what the judge says in court, she may just take off with the kids. At least we know they will be here before this meeting. And, if she says no, for whatever reason, we will be bringing this to court with us.
thanks again

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