My life is becoming a soap opera...help

[Mudhoney98]

What is the name of your state?Nevada

Note: I have posted this under different Family Law forums because it deals with child support, visitations, and domestic violence.

A little background-- I have been divorced for over three years. My ex was appointed visitations every other weekend. Howeverm he has showed no interest in a relationship with my daughter. He has not seen her in over a year (his choice...not mine). He calls every 3 or 4 months... mainly to discuss his life, not my daughters. He has not paid child support in over two years- he is over $10,000 in arrears. He is Native American and has managed to evade attachment by doing odd jobs under-the-table on the reservation. My case worker said that the tribe was not "hiding him", but they were not facilitating attachment.

Recently I found out that he has gotten a job with a reputable company that is not affiliated with the tribe, so I know I can attach. The problem is-- my ex told me that if I attach his wages he will take me to court to have the support order and visitiations amended. Since, he will have council provided by the tribe, he has threatened to make it a "knock-down, drag out battle." I am a medical student in the middle of clinicals. I will not graduate if I am continuously taking time off to go to and from court. Nor do I have the finances to afford an attorney. Most importantly, I am very concerned about future visitations. My ex was recently in a bar fight that ended in his getting shot AND about a year ago he was arrested for domestic violence. In addition, he has a severe alcohol problem (in my divorce decree there is a stipulation that he CANNOT drink while my child is with him)

All that being said, I have a couple questions: 1. Should I try to attach his paycheck or let sleeping dogs lie? 2. Due to his history of reckless behavior, is there a chance I could be awarded supervised visitations? 3. If he is making $10.00 working full-time and has three other children what can he amend the support to (he is supposed to pay $400.00 now)?

I would appreciate any help! I am so glad I found this site, it is such a blessing!

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?Nevada

Note: I have posted this under different Family Law forums because it deals with child support, visitations, and domestic violence.

A little background-- I have been divorced for over three years. My ex was appointed visitations every other weekend. Howeverm he has showed no interest in a relationship with my daughter. He has not seen her in over a year (his choice...not mine). He calls every 3 or 4 months... mainly to discuss his life, not my daughters. He has not paid child support in over two years- he is over $10,000 in arrears. He is Native American and has managed to evade attachment by doing odd jobs under-the-table on the reservation. My case worker said that the tribe was not "hiding him", but they were not facilitating attachment.

Recently I found out that he has gotten a job with a reputable company that is not affiliated with the tribe, so I know I can attach. The problem is-- my ex told me that if I attach his wages he will take me to court to have the support order and visitiations amended. Since, he will have council provided by the tribe, he has threatened to make it a "knock-down, drag out battle." I am a medical student in the middle of clinicals. I will not graduate if I am continuously taking time off to go to and from court. Nor do I have the finances to afford an attorney. Most importantly, I am very concerned about future visitations. My ex was recently in a bar fight that ended in his getting shot AND about a year ago he was arrested for domestic violence. In addition, he has a severe alcohol problem (in my divorce decree there is a stipulation that he CANNOT drink while my child is with him)

All that being said, I have a couple questions: 1. Should I try to attach his paycheck or let sleeping dogs lie? 2. Due to his history of reckless behavior, is there a chance I could be awarded supervised visitations? 3. If he is making $10.00 working full-time and has three other children what can he amend the support to (he is supposed to pay $400.00 now)?

I would appreciate any help! I am so glad I found this site, it is such a blessing!

My advice.....leave it alone for now. Its obvious that your child is safer at this point without having regular, unsupervised visitation with him. Filing to attach his wages would obviously open a huge can of worms at this point....and he is likely to just quit the job anyway.

Many would disagree with me about that....and in reality its both letting dad off the hook AND caving into blackmail.....but you don't have the time to "fight the good fight" right now..and your child's safety should be your first priority.

 

[tigger22472]

My advice.....leave it alone for now. Its obvious that your child is safer at this point without having regular, unsupervised visitation with him. Filing to attach his wages would obviously open a huge can of worms at this point....and he is likely to just quit the job anyway.

Many would disagree with me about that....and in reality its both letting dad off the hook AND caving into blackmail.....but you don't have the time to "fight the good fight" right now..and your child's safety should be your first priority.

Actually I agree too. If you can get by and obviously you have without the support then let it go for now. As Ldij said you will be opening a can of worms and if he REALLY wants to get out of support he will so it will be a long, drawn out, stressful process and you might not get anywhere in the end.

As Ldij said some may disagree but IMO the ends don't justify the means here and the one who will be hurt is your daughter.

 

[Mudhoney98]

Thanks for the posts. To be honest, that's what I am leaning towards. I really don't think that $400.00 a month (and possibly lower if amended) is worth the stress of my daughter being in a bad situation.

Thanks again, I appreciate the insight.

 

[concernedmom4ki]

Actually I agree too. If you can get by and obviously you have without the support then let it go for now. As Ldij said you will be opening a can of worms and if he REALLY wants to get out of support he will so it will be a long, drawn out, stressful process and you might not get anywhere in the end.

As Ldij said some may disagree but IMO the ends don't justify the means here and the one who will be hurt is your daughter.

Seems as though I am jumping on the bandwagon here, but I TOTALLY agree with Ldij and tigger.. DON'T open this back up right now.

You have everything going for you in med school right now and are making it without him. I know it may be tough but no amount of money ( and believe it will be small) that you can SQUEEZE from his tiny little paycheck willl be worth the sacrifices and stress you will have to endure just for the sake of a few bucks. Seems to me that you and the child are better off without his meesly bucks anyway.

You will spend more money in lawyers and court costs and lost time at school - probably more tuition, gas money (HIGH RT NOW) etc etc etc....
than you will ever get back from him.

Finish your degree THEN pursue the avenue of trying to get back child support etc if you want to at that time.... my mother never got a dime of child support and said it was worth it through everything - even the 'no' Christmas's because she didn't have to MAKE us go and see him. You will be forced to make that child go and see their father on his court ordered REQUIRED visitation days, whether they cry not to go or not.. and if you don't make them go then you are hauled into court on contempt charges and risk the other parent getting full custody and YOU paying child support.. so think really long and hard about it!!

BEST OF LUCK and God Bless!

 

[dallas702]

All those suggestions are fine, but I don't know of any judge in NV who will even consider giving your ex a break on either support or visitation. Supervised visitation would be almost guaranteed with a DV (conviction, though even an arrest is persuasive). You can easily get a garnishment, but he can also give up the $10 job and melt back onto the reservation. Being $10K in arrears is a huge red flag for judges and he could be thrown in jail....which obviously doesn't do anyone any good.

So, yes you can attach and get support based on the NV formula; and yes, you can get any visitation supervised at a DFS facility. But, as the others have pointed out, will it be worth dealing with him.

The problem you have is that your child also belongs to the tribe. If something happens to you and your ex the tribe automatically gets first rights to raise him/her. If that's ok with you (considering the statistically miserable economic and educational progression of most "NA's" that stay on reservations), you can leave everything as is. If you don't like that possible future for your child you might consider talking him into terminating his parental rights. Of course, this may be the reason for his sporadic calls every 3-4 months. You need 6 months of no contact for an abandonment plea.