My Mother's Rights

[Arianna]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?I live in New York State, I am 30yrs old., I have a 21 month old son, by my Fiancee. Lately my mother's behavior has become very erratic, (her behavior ever since I have been 5yrs old has been bad), but over the last few months she has gotten MUCH worse. She is prone to drastic mood swings, raging temper tantrums, screamng, swearing, calling 100 times in a day to continue a fight she started, etc. My Fiancee and I decided that we do not want our son anywhere near that kind of behavior. We told my parents' that they may see our son every other weekend, at our house, with us present. Neither my Fianceee or I feel it is safe for him to be around her alone should she "go off" on one of her rants. She used to watch him every other weekend, up until a few months ago, cause of her behavior. However my Fiancee and I noticed her bringing him back later and later then we asked, all of the milk we sent with him was sent back, even the milk already in the sippy cup, she gave him a haircut (his 1st by the way), and didn't even give us the locks that were cut. She tells me that she wishes I were dead, and now has filed a petition in court seeking my son every other weekend (Sat6a.m to Sun 6p.m), 2 weeks every summer and alternate holidays. Does she have a case and can she possibly win?

 

[Ohiogal]

Look for Rushia to post as she has been through it in New York State. Does she have a case? Not necessarily as you and your fiance are in agreement and you are not denying her any contact. However, again, Rushia can guide you.

 

[Arianna]

Look for Rushia to post as she has been through it in New York State. Does she have a case? Not necessarily as you and your fiance are in agreement and you are not denying her any contact. However, again, Rushia can guide you.

Thank you.. I look foward to hearing from Rushia

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

She is prone to drastic mood swings, raging temper tantrums, screamng, swearing, calling 100 times in a day to continue a fight she started, etc.

Witnesses besides yourselves on this behaviour? Phone records?

 

[Arianna]

My brother has witnessed her behavior over the years, as has his fiancee, my fiancee of course has seen them, as well as an old roomate of mine. I can access phone records from my wireless provider, but I haven't always picked up the phone when she is in her rages.

 

[BL]

Someone forgot my familiarity with the subject and the State .

Anyways yes , Rushia put up a fight and lost .

I don't recall what the Grands were awarded in her case .

In my GF's case , as in most , the Judge will push see if the parties can come to an agreement ( stipulated into orders ) .

In my GFs case the grandmother was having EOW a few hrs a day .

She stopped the visits because of the grandmother's and father's influence on the child ( derogatory talk about mother,family,even going to the child's school to spread it to the staff ).

The GM would be taking the young child to a prison to see his father .

Well , my GF ended up agreeing with stipulations for EOW for 8 hrs.

That was a mistake and took contempt petition after contempt petition before the visit were stopped .

The damage was done though .

In these types of cases , it is NOT recommended to agree .

I think in Rushia's case the GP's actually were awarded more time .

 

[Arianna]

We have agreed to let her and my father come every other weekend, at whatever time is good for them. The last weekend they knew they could come, they didn't show, no phone call, no e-mail nothing. We have not denied her any visitation, we just do not want him alone with her.

 

[LdiJ]

We have agreed to let her and my father come every other weekend, at whatever time is good for them. The last weekend they knew they could come, they didn't show, no phone call, no e-mail nothing. We have not denied her any visitation, we just do not want him alone with her.

Stand your ground. Do not allow yourself to be coerced into agreeing to anything. Insist on due process and insist on the judge hearing the case and making a decision based on the actual merits of the case.

You also might consider moving out of NY if it would be reasonable for you to do so.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Does mom let the call actually get to voice mail? Just thinking of how to PROVE that mom calls many times in one day.

 

[Ohiogal]

Sorry BL. I did forget. Please accept my apologies. Wasn't trying to marginalize you or discount your experience. Getting old. Brain doesn't work as well. Wonky sleep for the last month doesn't help.

Someone forgot my familiarity with the subject and the State .

Anyways yes , Rushia put up a fight and lost .

I don't recall what the Grands were awarded in her case .

In my GF's case , as in most , the Judge will push see if the parties can come to an agreement ( stipulated into orders ) .

In my GFs case the grandmother was having EOW a few hrs a day .

She stopped the visits because of the grandmother's and father's influence on the child ( derogatory talk about mother,family,even going to the child's school to spread it to the staff ).

The GM would be taking the young child to a prison to see his father .

Well , my GF ended up agreeing with stipulations for EOW for 8 hrs.

That was a mistake and took contempt petition after contempt petition before the visit were stopped .

The damage was done though .

In these types of cases , it is NOT recommended to agree .

I think in Rushia's case the GP's actually were awarded more time .

And yes, in Rushia's case the GP's were awarded time. She can explain what the findings of fact were in her instance.

 

[LdiJ]

Someone forgot my familiarity with the subject and the State .

Anyways yes , Rushia put up a fight and lost .

I don't recall what the Grands were awarded in her case .

In my GF's case , as in most , the Judge will push see if the parties can come to an agreement ( stipulated into orders ) .

In my GFs case the grandmother was having EOW a few hrs a day .

She stopped the visits because of the grandmother's and father's influence on the child ( derogatory talk about mother,family,even going to the child's school to spread it to the staff ).

The GM would be taking the young child to a prison to see his father .

Well , my GF ended up agreeing with stipulations for EOW for 8 hrs.

That was a mistake and took contempt petition after contempt petition before the visit were stopped .

The damage was done though .

In these types of cases , it is NOT recommended to agree .

I think in Rushia's case the GP's actually were awarded more time .

Its not much more than that.

 

[BL]

These cases were actually in different Counties .

The Differences in Judges also do make a difference ..

The Judge in my GF's cases was actually a sitting/retired Judge .

The same Judge for my original Custody/Visitation case , originally from yet another County .

Any good attorney can tell the OP how the/each Judge usually rules in such cases .

 

[Rushia]

OK, here I am. Yes, the GP's were awarded time in my case. It was based on the fact that I had lived with the paternal grandfather for 3 years. Now, here we go for the OP....

Where in NY are you? If you're not comfortable posting that then send me a pm.

I can tell you that since your child is still young there may be a chance you could be alright. However, the fact that you allowed the child to go EOW is going to work against you. Gramma is going to be awarded standing.

Agree to NOTHING. If for some reason you do feel it necessary to come to an agreement then make sure that EVERYTHING is spelled out.

 

[Arianna]

I live in Erie County, and she only watched him every other weekend for a few months. What is "standing"???

 

[Rushia]

I live in Erie County, and she only watched him every other weekend for a few months. What is "standing"???

You are very close to me then. The judges are getting very gp favorable around here. I'm in Niagara county.

NY statutes on gpv is a two tier system. First a gp has to prove that they have the right to sue, called standing. Then it moves to the best interests of the child. I'm going to try to send you a pm with my phone number. I'm going out but I'll be home later tonight. Call me and we'll discuss this....

ETA: I tried to send a pm, you don't have it set up yet. Set it up and send me a pm with your number or let me know that you set it up and I'll give you mine.