What is the name of your state? Tennessee
I know everyone has their share of problems but for the last 2 years my family has turned completely upside down in what seems to be a neverending battle. When I tell friends about what's going on in my life they often compare it to a Soap Opera or simply swear its the craziest thing they've ever heard. I have to warn you, this is a very long post.
Here's my story.
My family has led a prosperous life for most of my 21 years on this planet. Of course, like many other families my parents argued on occasion... But not too often and never violent. I have 3 younger siblings. Jessica is 19, Grant and Allison are 10 (twins). Grant was born severely handicapped. He is fine mentally, but he has to be aided in everything he does.
My mom was part owner in 2 thriving businesses. She ran these businesses and I usually credit her for my keen business sense. She was the smartest lady I knew.
A couple of years ago my Mom became addicted to prescription painkillers. She would "fall asleep" at dinner as the kids would say and she would mumble her words. She was a heavy lady who was originally on the painkillers for a bad back. She said that she had taken upto 20 Loratabs in one day.
Being heavy and failing at every attempt to lose weight, my mom decided she wanted Gastric Bypass Surgery. Her doctor advised against this... until she was off the painkillers.
My father agreed with the doctor and was openly against my mom getting the surgery. But as usual, Mom got what she wanted. Always. She had the surgery in July 2004.
She began losing weight immediately. She didn't follow the recommended diet plan for the surgery and she continued taking the painkillers.
My dad reached a point where he'd had enough and we couldn't blame him. He filed for divorce in November 2004. Here is when the trouble starts.
In January 2005, 2 months after my dad filed for divorce, my mom went into seizure from what the doctors first called a "drug overdose", but it now it reads "unexplained illness". My mom entered into a coma for the better part of 3 weeks. We didn't think she was going to make it.
In the middle of her coma we found that she had taken a $35,000 loan out against our house... (forging my father's signature) That was already paid for. She had cashed out Jessica's college savings along with what little savings we had put back for Grant and Allison, the younger of my 3 siblings. Over $10,000.
She slowly recovered over the course of the next few months. The siezure had given her short-term amnesia... turns out, she can't remember the last two-three years of her life.
Soon after her recovery she evolved into a completely different person. She was "incapable" of going back to work and told me that "I don't know if that's what I want to do with my life." She now weighed 135 lbs ... a new body and a new life.
Now it's been a little more than a year since she recovered. She's still not working. The Department of Child Services removed my younger brother and sister from her care and put them with my dad... Mom now lacks a motivation to see them.
My mom now frequents local bars, hangs out with people she labeled "trash" before all of this mess. I live at home and it's not unusual to hear her coming in at 5 or 6 in the morning. She was out until 7 am on this past Mother's Day.
Here is the problem.
The divorce is still going on... it's been about 18 since my dad filed for it. My mom is claiming she's incompetent and unable to make legal decisions -- even though she's out all night a few nights a week.
My dad was forced to move into a small city house where he grew up. He works a hard shift at the local gas company after caring for my younger brother and sister full-time -- without receiving any child support from my mother or her two businesses.
He's also spent $20,000 in lawyer fees and I'm afraid he's going to snap with all this pressure on him. I view him as the biggest victim in all of this... besides of course my handicapped little brother.
The courts keep postponing... They've postponed it again to see if my mom was really incompetent.
My question is this:
Should all of this sickness and incompetence matter since my dad filed for divorce BEFORE she became ill?
Is there anything we can do to speed up the divorce process?
Is there anything I can personally do at home to provide proof that she is competent?
We're completely blown away and are dying for a solution to get my dad some child support and the divorce over with. I honestly believe my mom is competent and that if she can tell me what band is playing at the bar tonight, she can make a legal decision.
I appreciate everyone who made it this far, we are desperate for a solution.
Thanks in Advance,
Chris
I know everyone has their share of problems but for the last 2 years my family has turned completely upside down in what seems to be a neverending battle. When I tell friends about what's going on in my life they often compare it to a Soap Opera or simply swear its the craziest thing they've ever heard. I have to warn you, this is a very long post.
Here's my story.
My family has led a prosperous life for most of my 21 years on this planet. Of course, like many other families my parents argued on occasion... But not too often and never violent. I have 3 younger siblings. Jessica is 19, Grant and Allison are 10 (twins). Grant was born severely handicapped. He is fine mentally, but he has to be aided in everything he does.
My mom was part owner in 2 thriving businesses. She ran these businesses and I usually credit her for my keen business sense. She was the smartest lady I knew.
A couple of years ago my Mom became addicted to prescription painkillers. She would "fall asleep" at dinner as the kids would say and she would mumble her words. She was a heavy lady who was originally on the painkillers for a bad back. She said that she had taken upto 20 Loratabs in one day.
Being heavy and failing at every attempt to lose weight, my mom decided she wanted Gastric Bypass Surgery. Her doctor advised against this... until she was off the painkillers.
My father agreed with the doctor and was openly against my mom getting the surgery. But as usual, Mom got what she wanted. Always. She had the surgery in July 2004.
She began losing weight immediately. She didn't follow the recommended diet plan for the surgery and she continued taking the painkillers.
My dad reached a point where he'd had enough and we couldn't blame him. He filed for divorce in November 2004. Here is when the trouble starts.
In January 2005, 2 months after my dad filed for divorce, my mom went into seizure from what the doctors first called a "drug overdose", but it now it reads "unexplained illness". My mom entered into a coma for the better part of 3 weeks. We didn't think she was going to make it.
In the middle of her coma we found that she had taken a $35,000 loan out against our house... (forging my father's signature) That was already paid for. She had cashed out Jessica's college savings along with what little savings we had put back for Grant and Allison, the younger of my 3 siblings. Over $10,000.
She slowly recovered over the course of the next few months. The siezure had given her short-term amnesia... turns out, she can't remember the last two-three years of her life.
Soon after her recovery she evolved into a completely different person. She was "incapable" of going back to work and told me that "I don't know if that's what I want to do with my life." She now weighed 135 lbs ... a new body and a new life.
Now it's been a little more than a year since she recovered. She's still not working. The Department of Child Services removed my younger brother and sister from her care and put them with my dad... Mom now lacks a motivation to see them.
My mom now frequents local bars, hangs out with people she labeled "trash" before all of this mess. I live at home and it's not unusual to hear her coming in at 5 or 6 in the morning. She was out until 7 am on this past Mother's Day.
Here is the problem.
The divorce is still going on... it's been about 18 since my dad filed for it. My mom is claiming she's incompetent and unable to make legal decisions -- even though she's out all night a few nights a week.
My dad was forced to move into a small city house where he grew up. He works a hard shift at the local gas company after caring for my younger brother and sister full-time -- without receiving any child support from my mother or her two businesses.
He's also spent $20,000 in lawyer fees and I'm afraid he's going to snap with all this pressure on him. I view him as the biggest victim in all of this... besides of course my handicapped little brother.
The courts keep postponing... They've postponed it again to see if my mom was really incompetent.
My question is this:
Should all of this sickness and incompetence matter since my dad filed for divorce BEFORE she became ill?
Is there anything we can do to speed up the divorce process?
Is there anything I can personally do at home to provide proof that she is competent?
We're completely blown away and are dying for a solution to get my dad some child support and the divorce over with. I honestly believe my mom is competent and that if she can tell me what band is playing at the bar tonight, she can make a legal decision.
I appreciate everyone who made it this far, we are desperate for a solution.
Thanks in Advance,
Chris
