My son attends a religious school

[bnies]

I am the non custodial parent of a son who currently attends a religious school. I do not want him attending this school. My ex has sole custody of my son. Is there anything I can do to prohibit him from attending this school? I want him to go to public schools.

 

[Ukiah]

I am the non custodial parent of a son who currently attends a religious school. I do not want him attending this school. My ex has sole custody of my son. Is there anything I can do to prohibit him from attending this school? I want him to go to public schools.

Why are you against your child going to a religious school? I'm not very religious, but I see no problem in a child going to one of these schools, or even a private school. There are less problems, such as guns, violence, and a bonus of having smaller classes.

How old is the child? Have you discussed this with both the child and the CP? If the child is doing well in the school, and he/she likes the school, students and teachers, WHY take him away from that?

Are you worried that your X may come after you for more support for the child attending such a school? If so, then I feel you are being selfish, and not taking his education very seriously.

As far as something you can do to prohibit it, probably not, but, I'm not an attorney and I don't live in your state.

Talk to you child, then talk to your X. Compromise, let CP know you have a problem with it, but will stand by your child. because in the end, it is always what is the best interest of the child that matters.

Ukiah

 

[bnies]

reason for ukiah

Where we live is a small rural community that does not have the problems you listed. I do not want him attending this school because where we live, children attending schools like that are ostracized from the rest of the children in the community because they are looked at as different. I have no problems with religous or private schools in general, however, this certain institution is run by an extreme fundamentalist group that teaches ideas and values that I find outrageous. For example, my son, 6 years old and in first grade, told me upon one of our recent visitations that my mother, his grandmother, was going to go to hell because she was part of the devil. When I asked him where he got this idea, he said that his teacher told him that those who do not go to church will go to hell and they are part of the devil. That ideolgy is way too much for a 6 year old to be taught. And I just do not agree with it. What is in the best interest for my child is to grow up in society with the same opportunities as other children. Not to be labeled as weird or not to be able to participate in activities that other children participate in. He cannot be involved in sports, he cannot listen to non-secular music, he cannot watch TV, etc. Don't get me wrong, I am not too fond of what TV, music, and sports have to offer these days. I do believe that to restrict a 6 year old from those opportunities and limit his exposure to what is the culture of the world around him, will only make it harder for him to be part of society and harder for him to learn to socialize with the majority of those around him. But, maybe I am wrong.

 

[LegalBeagle]

I am the non custodial parent of a son who currently attends a religious school. I do not want him attending this school. My ex has sole custody of my son. Is there anything I can do to prohibit him from attending this school? I want him to go to public schools.

Sole Custody = You can do squat.

 

[Ukiah]

Response

Where we live is a small rural community that does not have the problems you listed. I do not want him attending this school because where we live, children attending schools like that are ostracized from the rest of the children in the community because they are looked at as different. I have no problems with religous or private schools in general, however, this certain institution is run by an extreme fundamentalist group that teaches ideas and values that I find outrageous. For example, my son, 6 years old and in first grade, told me upon one of our recent visitations that my mother, his grandmother, was going to go to hell because she was part of the devil. When I asked him where he got this idea, he said that his teacher told him that those who do not go to church will go to hell and they are part of the devil. That ideolgy is way too much for a 6 year old to be taught. And I just do not agree with it. What is in the best interest for my child is to grow up in society with the same opportunities as other children. Not to be labeled as weird or not to be able to participate in activities that other children participate in. He cannot be involved in sports, he cannot listen to non-secular music, he cannot watch TV, etc. Don't get me wrong, I am not too fond of what TV, music, and sports have to offer these days. I do believe that to restrict a 6 year old from those opportunities and limit his exposure to what is the culture of the world around him, will only make it harder for him to be part of society and harder for him to learn to socialize with the majority of those around him. But, maybe I am wrong.

It would be best to address these concerns with your X, and the child's school and teacher(s). This could be something as simple as an adjustment period for your child. Either way you need to voice your opinion to your X and the school. Make sure you reserve your parental rights in writing to the school.

If you need to pursue this matter farther, go to mediation, talk to a judge, go to court. Regardless, she has SOLE Custody, so YOU HAVE to work WITH HER.

Good luck,
Ukiah

 

[MySonsMom]

Re: Response

Regardless, she has SOLE Custody, so YOU HAVE to work WITH HER.

Good luck,
Ukiah [/B][/QUOTE]

If she has sole custody, he can work with her about his feelings but she has NO obligation to work or even listen to him.

Even if they did have joint legal custody, he could voice his concerns but the final decision is up to the custodial parent. So, other than voicing his concerns, that's about as far as that will go.

 

[Ukiah]

True

Regardless, she has SOLE Custody, so YOU HAVE to work WITH HER.

Good luck,
Ukiah

If she has sole custody, he can work with her about his feelings but she has NO obligation to work or even listen to him.

Even if they did have joint legal custody, he could voice his concerns but the final decision is up to the custodial parent. So, other than voicing his concerns, that's about as far as that will go. [/B][/QUOTE]



Very true, MSM, that's basically what I was telling him. Either way he needs to become more involved not only with the mother, but the school. If he starts concentrating on a better relationship with his former wife, she may be more willing to work out the situation with what he stated the teacher is telling the child. IF their "new" relationship is one that is irrepairable, then the child suffers.

Just because his X has sole custody doesn't mean that he can't become more involved in the child's education. He needs to reserve his parental rights in writing to the schoo, make sure he is on the emergency card, etc. talk to the teacher about his stance on what is being taught. He has that right (not that I am arguing with you, cuz I'm not). The better the relationship with the CP, the more willing they are to address the concerns that come up.

The teacher needs to be addressed as to what was said. Telling a child that their grandparent is going to hell or is a part of the devil is wrong.

Ukiah

 

[MySonsMom]

I think if the Mother has sole custody, then she can request that the Father not have access to the childs school information. That is the whole reasoning behind joint custody, that means that the non custodial parent CAN have access to school, medical etc..records concerning the child so IF they wish to be involved in those things they can be. Since this Mother has sole custody, he cannot just go in there and get whatever he wants etc...he would need to Mother's consent.

So most likely he will have to go through the Mother to get everything, and it is up to her to listen, respect or ignore what she wants.

 

[Ukiah]

I think if the Mother has sole custody, then she can request that the Father not have access to the childs school information. That is the whole reasoning behind joint custody, that means that the non custodial parent CAN have access to school, medical etc..records concerning the child so IF they wish to be involved in those things they can be. Since this Mother has sole custody, he cannot just go in there and get whatever he wants etc...he would need to Mother's consent.

So most likely he will have to go through the Mother to get everything, and it is up to her to listen, respect or ignore what she wants.

I don't know what state he is in but in Cali, under calif code section 3025 "Notwithstanding any other provision of law, access to records and information pertaining to a minor child, including, but not limited to, medical, dental, and school records, shall not be denied to a parent because that parent is not the child's custodial parent."