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my son wants to live with me

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brywolf

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?illinois
i get my son everyother weekend. he is seven years old. he tells me and his
mom that he wants to live with me. she tells him she is tired of hearing it and if he keeps up he won't get to see me at all. when i go to take him back he is
always upset and sometimes in tears. he wants to go to school here. i guess my question is how old does a child have to be to choose who he lives with?
 


T

titansfan

Guest
not untill your son is older

right now, your son is too young to make that kind of decision-when he is about 12 or so, a judge may take his wishes into consideration. tell mom if she withholds visitation, you will not hesitate to file contempt charges on her.she cannot legally withhold visitation for that reason, she can be fined, jailed, or lose custody.
 

HCR

Member
yet another warning about titansfan

OP,

While I agree with telling mom about the contemp stuff, which is entirely accurate, I would not put much hope in the age 12 or so thing she said.

Just because a child talks to a judge at 12, the judge still makes the final decision and that may be to leave him at mom's house. Unfortunatly until the child is 18, they don't get to decide where to live. I find it disturbing that she is telling your son this to get him to stop, it probably actually feeds his desire to be with you more. You might mention that saying that to him is equivelant to telling a child that is afraid of the dark that there is a monster in the closet too.

What you might do is see if mom is willing to give you some more liberal vistitation with the kiddo. It doesn't have to go through court, you could probably use a mediator to get the court what needs to be in writing. Perhaps if your son knows that you will at least discuss the idea of more time with mom it will help. If you are only seeing him every other weekend, see if she will let you take him for a couple of hours one or 2 weekday nights. You could see if she would let you enroll him in some sport that would allow you to spend some time together (swimming lessons??) or just to take him to dinner and do his homework together. However, if you try that, plan to do all the driving. Price you pay for getting more time with him.

Hopefully she will be reasonable for her son's sake.

Good luck!

HCR
 

Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
I aplogize for the wrong info Titan has given, she is what you would call a forum troll, and a little insane. Seriously, she has dead family members that are alive now, and I think 15 kids that she takes care of. Her profile states she is unemployed. :rolleyes:

Your answer....

You have not given enough information to really answer your question.

What are the court orders in regard to custody? YOU will always have the right to file for resident custody with the courts, but like I said, no one knows what your orders are right now.
 
Last edited:

snostar

Senior Member
HCR said:
Just because a child talks to a judge at 12, the judge still makes the final decision and that may be to leave him at mom's house.
Although it is likely, is not necessarily guaranteed that a judge will listen to the child's wish at age twelve, that also is up to the judge to decide.
 

brywolf

Junior Member
my court papers say that i get my son every other weekend and one night a week but she has moved about 70 miles away and i just cant afford to run down there durring the week so it is just down to the weekends.
thanks everyone for your input. i will keep a post here and let you know what happens because i am going to try and take her to court for custody.
i have to try something it tears me up every time i take him to her and he is crying.
thanks again.
 

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