My wife and her son

[clri000]

I'm 62, live in Georgia and married for over 20 years. Years ago, my wife her son became homeless and has been struggling ever since. We've tried to take him with us, but it's virtually impossible for longer periods because of his brutal nature. Every time he's on the streets, my wife would send him money for car repairs, hotels, food, medicine and all that. Because his situation became hopeless she decided to buy a 50K condo for him, free of charge without paying rent. I did not agree with it, but she did it anyways and it put allot of stress on our marriage. To make matters worse, after sniffing in her books I learned that over the years she wired around 60K to him. She also took a credit card and sold a 6K IRA. Because she's totally bankrupt, and I refuse to pay for his bills, she moved in with him and threatens with a divorce. I can't believe what all is happening to me and wonder what my rights are (if any) in case of a divorce.

 

[zddoodah]

Like anyone else, you have dozens of legal rights (you can't reasonably believe you don't have any rights), but it would serve no useful purpose to try and compile a list.

I suggest you confer with a local divorce attorney, but if you have actual questions for us, please feel free to ask.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I'm 62, live in Georgia and married for over 20 years. Years ago, my wife her son became homeless and has been struggling ever since. We've tried to take him with us, but it's virtually impossible for longer periods because of his brutal nature. Every time he's on the streets, my wife would send him money for car repairs, hotels, food, medicine and all that. Because his situation became hopeless she decided to buy a 50K condo for him, free of charge without paying rent. I did not agree with it, but she did it anyways and it put allot of stress on our marriage. To make matters worse, after sniffing in her books I learned that over the years she wired around 60K to him. She also took a credit card and sold a 6K IRA. Because she's totally bankrupt, and I refuse to pay for his bills, she moved in with him and threatens with a divorce. I can't believe what all is happening to me and wonder what my rights are (if any) in case of a divorce.

Get an initial consult with a divorce lawyer. (Actually 2 or 3.)

Were marital assets involved in her largesse? Ask these lawyers about the definition of "marital asset" and "wasteful dissipation of marital assets".

 

[stealth2]

Well, it shouldn't shock you that she wants to help her child.

 

[clri000]

Age 35, 2 years jail time, drug abuse, mentally distorted etc etc ... He once ***** his wife in front of us. I wouldn't call this a child. Yes there were marital assets involved, how else. She runs a small online business and all of her profits went straight to him. I've not seen a dime from her in 8 years.

 

[clri000]

Like anyone else, you have dozens of legal rights (you can't reasonably believe you don't have any rights), but it would serve no useful purpose to try and compile a list.

I suggest you confer with a local divorce attorney, but if you have actual questions for us, please feel free to ask.

Thanks. I'm thinking about it. The idea of not having any rights is because she tries to make me believe that she would get 50% of everything we own even though my input was 95%.

 

[stealth2]

Age 35, 2 years jail time, drug abuse, mentally distorted etc etc ... He once ***** his wife in front of us. I wouldn't call this a child. Yes there were marital assets involved, how else. She runs a small online business and all of her profits went straight to him. I've not seen a dime from her in 8 years.

You don't have kids of your own, do you?

 

[cbg]

What she tells you she would get, and what she actually would get, are not necessarily the same thing.

 

[Zigner]

Age 35, 2 years jail time, drug abuse, mentally distorted etc etc ... I wouldn't call this a child.

He is not her child?

 

[adjusterjack]

Thanks. I'm thinking about it. The idea of not having any rights is because she tries to make me believe that she would get 50% of everything we own even though my input was 95%.

My marriage went the same way when my son became an addict and a criminal and my ex enabled him.

My advice: YOU file for divorce. Get a jump on her and get out. Take whatever lumps come your way. You'll survive and recover. I did.

Otherwise nothing changes and you'll sink further and further into the morass of despair.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Thanks. I'm thinking about it. The idea of not having any rights is because she tries to make me believe that she would get 50% of everything we own even though my input was 95%.

Hence why you need to consult a lawyer, and perhaps get both of you a reality check.

Georgia is an equitable distribution state. This means assets are split equitably. "Equitably" is not a fancy way of spelling equal.

An equitable distribution of assets can be 50/50, but it can also be something very different. Your ability to prove/document how your wife hid and spent marital assets could affect that.

Your wife cares for her son and worries about him. The problem is that you are not on the same page, and she has violated your sense of trust.

If your stepson's include any violence, then protect yourself, and get out.

 

[Just Blue]

Hence why you need to consult a lawyer, and perhaps get both of you a reality check.

Georgia is an equitable distribution state. This means assets are split equitably. "Equitably" is not a fancy way of spelling equal.

An equitable distribution of assets can be 50/50, but it can also be something very different. Your ability to prove/document how your wife hid and spent marital assets could affect that.

Your wife cares for her son and worries about him. The problem is that you are not on the same page, and she has violated your sense of trust.

If your stepson's include any violence, then protect yourself, and get out.

You offer wonderful, logical and insightful advice, Red.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thanks. I'm thinking about it. The idea of not having any rights is because she tries to make me believe that she would get 50% of everything we own even though my input was 95%.

She is entitled to 50% of marital assets and 50% of marital debt as are you. And she is also able to ask for spousal support if you earn substantially more than her.

 

[zddoodah]

she tries to make me believe that she would get 50% of everything we own even though my input was 95%.

Well...assets acquired during the marriage are generally considered to be marital assets. In a divorce, if the parties don't resolve the property division by way of a settlement (which happens in the overwhelming majority of cases), marital assets are divided in a manner that the court considers to be equitable based on numerous factors. In an equitable division, 50/50 is presumed to be equitable, but it's impossible for folks on a message board to opine intelligently about how things might turn out in any given case. That's obviously a far cry from not having rights.

I agree that you need to confer with a divorce attorney.

 

[clri000]

You don't have kids of your own, do you?

Yes I have three sons myself and she has a second son. None of them know about the ins and outs.