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My wife joined the Air Force and I'm the CP

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father22

Member
What is the name of your state? PA

I recently won physical custody of my 2 oldest children (3 and 6 yrs old). Their mother and I were never married. She gets EOW, and 5 weeks in the summer, plus supposed joint legal, though that's not addressed at all in the costody agreement paperwork that I received. My wife and I have been married for 2 years and have an infant son together. My wife was just accepted into Air Force Officer Candidate School as a social worker. She will have to go away for training for about 3 months. I will be taking care of the kids while she's gone. After that time she will be assigned to a base. Somewhere, we don't know where yet. The move won't be for awhile most likely will take a year until that time comes.

It should be fairly easy to prove that the relocation will greatly improve our circumstances. It will definitely provide all of us a better standard of living, as well as educational and financial advantages for the kids. My wife certainly can't and won't move without me and our kids. I'm an ex-navy man and I know what to expect (especially the benefits that officer's and their family's are privy to). I addressed this with our attorney when custody was initially set, though we didn't know if she was going to be accepted or not. He didn't seem to have any concerns with it at the time though nothing was said about it in court..


I know that PA has something called a gruber hearing (sp?), but I can't seem to find any information on it. Does anyone know the formula that they use, or what the actual name is?

I don't think that my children's mom will fight the move, but just in case I'd like to know what will happen if she does try to fight it.

What steps I need to take to get everything squared away prior to the actual move?

We are more then willing to pay for transportation costs for visitation. What's usually a fair amount when the CP lives far away from the NCP? A few holidays during the year, and a certain amount of the summer?

Any advice is greatly appreciated.
 


stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Your ex could potentially get all school holidays (and/or 1 w/e a month) and the bulk of the summer.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
father22 said:
What is the name of your state? PA

I recently won physical custody of my 2 oldest children (3 and 6 yrs old). Their mother and I were never married. She gets EOW, and 5 weeks in the summer, plus supposed joint legal, though that's not addressed at all in the costody agreement paperwork that I received. My wife and I have been married for 2 years and have an infant son together. My wife was just accepted into Air Force Officer Candidate School as a social worker. She will have to go away for training for about 3 months. I will be taking care of the kids while she's gone. After that time she will be assigned to a base. Somewhere, we don't know where yet. The move won't be for awhile most likely will take a year until that time comes.

It should be fairly easy to prove that the relocation will greatly improve our circumstances. It will definitely provide all of us a better standard of living, as well as educational and financial advantages for the kids. My wife certainly can't and won't move without me and our kids. I'm an ex-navy man and I know what to expect (especially the benefits that officer's and their family's are privy to). I addressed this with our attorney when custody was initially set, though we didn't know if she was going to be accepted or not. He didn't seem to have any concerns with it at the time though nothing was said about it in court..


I know that PA has something called a gruber hearing (sp?), but I can't seem to find any information on it. Does anyone know the formula that they use, or what the actual name is?

I don't think that my children's mom will fight the move, but just in case I'd like to know what will happen if she does try to fight it.

What steps I need to take to get everything squared away prior to the actual move?

We are more then willing to pay for transportation costs for visitation. What's usually a fair amount when the CP lives far away from the NCP? A few holidays during the year, and a certain amount of the summer?

Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Ok....this may not be quite as easy as you think....and its best if you get started on it now.

You need to petition the court for permission to relocate with the kids. What may be difficult for you is that your wife made the decision to enter the military AFTER you were given custody of your children....after you knew that you had an obligation to keep the children close to their mother.

If you do win permission to relocate with the kids, then a normal visitation schedule would be every other Thanksgiving, One week at Christmas, Every or every other Spring Break, and anywhere from 1/2 to 3/4 of the summer. If you are located close enough to make long weekends feasible, then once a month visitation is not uncommon.
 

father22

Member
LdiJ said:
You need to petition the court for permission to relocate with the kids. What may be difficult for you is that your wife made the decision to enter the military AFTER you were given custody of your children....after you knew that you had an obligation to keep the children close to their mother.
QUOTE]

We made the decision that she should apply WAY before the custody hearing. Its a very long process, she started it before the custody decision was made, though she actually signed the paperwork after. Hopefully that will help my case, should it even be an issue. Does anyone know anything about the gruber hearing? (sp?)

The children's mother wants as little to do with them as possible. Hence, I don't feel an obligation to keep them close to her, she only gets 2 weekends a month with them, and more often than not refuses to even take them that much. And when she does, she leaves them with teenage babysitters most of the time so that she can go to the bar. I really don't think that she'll have much of an issue with the move. But I just want to cross my t's and dot my i's..so to speak.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
father22 said:
LdiJ said:
You need to petition the court for permission to relocate with the kids. What may be difficult for you is that your wife made the decision to enter the military AFTER you were given custody of your children....after you knew that you had an obligation to keep the children close to their mother.
QUOTE]

We made the decision that she should apply WAY before the custody hearing. Its a very long process, she started it before the custody decision was made, though she actually signed the paperwork after. Hopefully that will help my case, should it even be an issue. Does anyone know anything about the gruber hearing? (sp?)

The children's mother wants as little to do with them as possible. Hence, I don't feel an obligation to keep them close to her, she only gets 2 weekends a month with them, and more often than not refuses to even take them that much. And when she does, she leaves them with teenage babysitters most of the time so that she can go to the bar. I really don't think that she'll have much of an issue with the move. But I just want to cross my t's and dot my i's..so to speak.
It doesn't sound like mom would oppose you and I can understand why you don't feel an obligation to keep them close to her....however, its almost worse that your wife had this in the works before you got custody....if you did not disclose this to the courts and mom during the custody proceedings. Depending on the circumstances of your case, it might have made a difference in the judge's decision if the judge knew that you were likely to be moving out of state.

Just get working on it now.
 

father22

Member
Just to stand up for 1 fact here. While it was admittedly "in the works," the acceptance rate for the branch that she was accepted into is only 20%. It seemed kind of like a long shot, and I did after all mention it to my attorney. I was able to find the info I needed thanks to rmet's post :) Thanks for all of your advice.
 

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