my wife won't pickup up on sceduled visits

[mydaughtersdad]

What is the name of your state? ma,I have joint custody with my x,I am the custodial parent,my daughters areliving with me & I get child support.My question is, every wednesday & every other weekend my wife is suppossed to take the girls,per divorce agreement.Almost 100% of time,she does not pick them up unless she is made to.Everytime is argument,& when she does,they are dropped off early to sometimes an empty house because I am not at home.Can she do this & is she required to go by the agreement, & is their anything I can do,I already bend over backwards for her & the kids are starting to not want to go at all with her, thanx for any advice !

 

[Zephyr]

she cannot be forced to use her parenting time...however if you have been documenting the number of visits she has missed and your cs is based on her having a certain number of overnights per year- you may want to look at modifying support to ensure you are getting the proper amount

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? ma,I have joint custody with my x,I am the custodial parent,my daughters areliving with me & I get child support.My question is, every wednesday & every other weekend my wife is suppossed to take the girls,per divorce agreement.Almost 100% of time,she does not pick them up unless she is made to.Everytime is argument,& when she does,they are dropped off early to sometimes an empty house because I am not at home.Can she do this & is she required to go by the agreement, & is their anything I can do,I already bend over backwards for her & the kids are starting to not want to go at all with her, thanx for any advice !

Visitation is not an obligation it is a right. She doesn't HAVE to utilize her visitation. How old are the girls? If she doesn't use her parenting time you could seek a modification of the custody order to limit her visits with the children. She may end up with a higher child support order if her visitation is reduced.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? ma,I have joint custody with my x,I am the custodial parent,my daughters areliving with me & I get child support.My question is, every wednesday & every other weekend my wife is suppossed to take the girls,per divorce agreement.Almost 100% of time,she does not pick them up unless she is made to.Everytime is argument,& when she does,they are dropped off early to sometimes an empty house because I am not at home.Can she do this & is she required to go by the agreement, & is their anything I can do,

YES, she can do this. Visitation is a RIGHT for the NCP, not an obligation. On the other hand, paying support is an OBLIGATION for the NCP; and receiving CS is a RIGHT for the children with the CP.

Do you see the difference clearly?

I already bend over backwards for her

How? Especially if she isn't showing up?
One main duty of the CP is to FACILITATE the relationship between the child/ren and the NCP...the other parent. As CP, you pretty much have to bend over backwards for the NCP -- for the sake of the continuing relationship with the child/ren and their other parent.

& the kids are starting to not want to go at all with her, thanx for any advice !

See my last answer, just above this one? Same thing.

 

[Silverplum]

Is it that I'm halfway on the other end of the country from you people?
Is it that I haven't had enough coffee yet?
Why am I late?
Shall I just pack it up now?

 

[penelope10]

What is the name of your state? ma,I have joint custody with my x,I am the custodial parent,my daughters areliving with me & I get child support.My question is, every wednesday & every other weekend my wife is suppossed to take the girls,per divorce agreement.Almost 100% of time,she does not pick them up unless she is made to.Everytime is argument,& when she does,they are dropped off early to sometimes an empty house because I am not at home.Can she do this & is she required to go by the agreement, & is their anything I can do,I already bend over backwards for her & the kids are starting to not want to go at all with her, thanx for any advice !

Unfortunately, legally it is impossible to force a parent to see their children if they are disinterested. I went through the same frustration at the beginning of my divorce with the ex.

I would, however, keep an ongoing log of every visitation missed, every visitation the ex shows up late for, and every time the ex drops off the kids early when no adult is at home.
I would also keep of a log of any conversations or communications you send to ex regarding these matters should you need to go to court in the future.

Let the ex know that she is to call you before dropping the kids off early. This insures the kid's safety because who knows what could happen if they are alone. Do not argue with her when she calls. This will just reinforce her bad behavior.

I'm guessing that ex is busy right now getting on with her own life, with little thought to how her actions effect the kids. Once she remarries, or gets into a serious relationship,you will probably see an about face in regards to her actions. Because any decent person she's involved with will wonder why she does not exercise her visitation rights.

I went through this for about six years before the ex finally got his act together and started seeing my daughter consistently. (Showing up on time, dropping off on time).

It has gotten much better now that he has remarried.