Been Down This Road and Won!
I helped my husband win custody of his Native American daughter who was living on the reservation at the time. It was a long hard road. Here are some of the things we learned. I hope they will help.
1. They are a Sovereign Nation and are not obligated to run under our laws. It's like dealing with a foreign country.
2. Because our daughter lived on the rez they had juristiction. I would say go out immediately and start custody in VA. I am in VA, also. You WANT to get this case heard in our courts and NOT theirs.
3. This is why: The rez court we were dealing with had a lawyer to represent mom. We tried to hire our own lawyer but, every lawyer that the rez allowed to opperate in their court had to sign an agreement that they could only represent Native American clients. This meant we could not have legal counsel. This completely scewed things into mom's favor. We had to represent ourselves and the road was very long and very hard. If you get juristiction established in VA it will level the playing field.
4. If, her tribal member status forces you into their court system there are some things you need to prepare for. The rez is a tight small community and chances are those in the courts and those in child protection are relatives of the father. Many will work in the best interest of the Native American adult and not the child. For us, the judge had a direct tie to the family and was making CRAZY decisions. If you don't like the decision you appeal to the Tribal Counsel. For us, 5 of the 7 Tribal Counsel members were related to the mom.
5. Because of the family ties be VERY cautious of the information you share and with whom. We learned this message the hard way. The person assigned to manage our daughter's child protection case was the mother's cousin. All of the abuse and neglect we reported to her was relayed directly to the mother. The family knew all of our moves because I was telling this woman and she was acting like she was really concerned for this child. Not only was she the mom's cousin but, the director of the rez Child Protective services was the mothers aunt. We almost won by default one time because mom did not appear in court. The case worker (cousin) left the court room drove to mom's house and picked her up and drove her back to court. She walked in just minutes before we'd have been awarded custody and asked for a continuance which was granted.
6. Try to make friends with someone on the inside who really cares about what's going on. For us, it was the court clerk who couldn't stand what was going on. She approached us, off the record, and told us the family connections and let us know why we were having such a hard time. If you make those relationships you need to do everything you can to protect that relationship. We didn't go out and say to CPS that we know you are all relatives because so and so said. Had we done that we'd have been in a bad way. Just listen and take steps to protect yourself and that person who is trying to help you.
7. An example of this, we knew cousin was case worker so we contacted our local CPS and explained the situation. We asked them to help us and open a case locally. The first response we received was, they are a sovereign nation and we have no juristiction. They could offer suggestions to the rez CPS but, could not enforce. We told them we understood, explained the dynamics of the relationships with CPS and asked if they could be a 3rd party impartial. If other agencies are looking in they have to justify themselves a bit more. Local CPS agreed and kept in constant contact with us and rez. We started to see small differences in how they were handeling the case.
8. We also, contacted the school our daughter attended. Asked our court clerk contact to let us know of the family relationships at the school and asked who would be the best person to get on our side there. She pointed us to the nun who headed the school. We called and asked about our daughters attendance at school and if she was healthy. She told us there were issue's with lice that she had addressed multiple times and mother did nothing. She told us out of 89 days of school our daughter had missed 76. We asked if she wouldn't mind mailing day a statement of this and proof of attendance. She gladly did and that became KEY info in our case.
9. Document! Document! Document! Document every single person you talk to, date and conversation. I have 2 3" 3 ring binders FULL of information from that case. If you get a letter or any kind of document file it, save it and follow up, if needed.
10. Several requests to the court to change juristiction were denied and many rulings continued to place our daughter at risk. When I felt we had no option but to appeal to Tribal Counsel and knowing we wouldn't win that either, with 5 family members on the board, we became creative in our efforts. I began calling government officials. I called the Governor's office, Senator etc. Even many of the Native American agencies. I would speak with someone on the phone tell them our story and tell them all we wanted was to have juristiction placed in the hands of an impartial system where both families could receive legal counsel. They all wanted to help, said they had no juristiction to mandate what they did but, could be influencial. I was instructed to write a letter to each of these officials. Because I made personal contact, I asked may I send it directly to you and will you make sure this is placed on their desk right away? Most agreed. I wrote my letters and over the next several months MANY outside agencies becgan to contact the tribe and inquire about they way they were handeling this case and requesting them to simply release juristiction.
10. After almost 2 years of diligent effort, one day a letter came in our mailbox from the tribal court. It said, that they were placing our daughter in our temporary custody. That if mom wanted to see her it would be supervised and at her expense. That they were releasing juristiction of this child to the VA courts. I am happy to tell you we now have full legal and physical custody of our beautiful well adjusted daughter.
It can be done but, the road may be long so hang in there!
