NCP requested visitation schedule but does not make arrangements

[Isis1]

California

i have been reading past forums but haven't seen anything that pertains to my question.

visitation with the NCP was EOW (from Friday 5pm to Sunday evening) and Wednesday nights from 5pm-8pm. now they are EOW from Friday after school until Monday drop off at school with every Wednesday from afterschool until Thurday morning school drop off.

I have a long term parenting class that i have been attending since before the visitation increase since December. Wednesdays at 2pm. which allows me to be about 15 minutes late since i have to pick up my son from school first. This new visitation scheduled was supposed to eleviate me of being late. School lets out for the oldest at 2pm on Wednesdays. However, despite the NCP requesting this new schedule, he made it known to me yesterday that he works until 2pm and would not be available until 3pm to pick up the kids. now this puts me in a pinch with my classes. and i got reamed last week for not going. and again this week. I called him and told him i had an appointment i could not change. since he could not follow the court order, the children would not be available until atfer 5pm when i returned. he made arrangements to make an exception just this week. picked them up at 2:20pm. Next week, i HAVE to start going again. i will call again with the same offer of the kids being available at 5pm if he cannot pick them up at his requested shceduled time per the court order. Now, if he wants to be a prick about this he'll call the cops each time. does he have a standing?

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

California
Now, if he wants to be a prick about this he'll call the cops each time. does he have a standing?

If the wording of your order actually says "after school", then yeah.

There's no afterschool program the kids could attend?

Also, did you start the class in December before or after the order was signed?

 

[Isis1]

If the wording of your order actually says "after school", then yeah.

There's no afterschool program the kids could attend?

Also, did you start the class in December before or after the order was signed?

yep, wording is "after school". and no this school does not have any afterschool programs for with the kindergartner or the 4th grader.

and yes i was attending these classes prior to the hearing and the order being signed.

this was the problem with the new visitation, there is way too much grey area. when i was the NCP, after school meant whatever time any child got out. preschool was out at 11:30am. i picked him up at 11:30am. the older one was let out at 2:15pm, i went at 2:15pm. didn't matter the times were different, i made the time to be there whatever time school let out. even on minimum days. worse yet, i had to travel to two different school districts to pick them up at least one hour away from each other. but i did it.

if i was the NCP with this new schedule, i would be picking up the kids at each different times. oterwise, "after school" would mean anytime i had the time to pick them up. wouldn't it?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

California

i have been reading past forums but haven't seen anything that pertains to my question.

visitation with the NCP was EOW (from Friday 5pm to Sunday evening) and Wednesday nights from 5pm-8pm. now they are EOW from Friday after school until Monday drop off at school with every Wednesday from afterschool until Thurday morning school drop off.

I have a long term parenting class that i have been attending since before the visitation increase since December. Wednesdays at 2pm. which allows me to be about 15 minutes late since i have to pick up my son from school first. This new visitation scheduled was supposed to eleviate me of being late. School lets out for the oldest at 2pm on Wednesdays. However, despite the NCP requesting this new schedule, he made it known to me yesterday that he works until 2pm and would not be available until 3pm to pick up the kids. now this puts me in a pinch with my classes. and i got reamed last week for not going. and again this week. I called him and told him i had an appointment i could not change. since he could not follow the court order, the children would not be available until atfer 5pm when i returned. he made arrangements to make an exception just this week. picked them up at 2:20pm. Next week, i HAVE to start going again. i will call again with the same offer of the kids being available at 5pm if he cannot pick them up at his requested shceduled time per the court order. Now, if he wants to be a prick about this he'll call the cops each time. does he have a standing?

Is the class court ordered parenting class?

Have the X be responsible for after school care on Wednesday. (PS - It's not you.)

 

[Isis1]

Is the class court ordered parenting class?

Have the X be responsible for after school care on Wednesday. (PS - It's not you.)

yep..it's court ordered parenting classes.


LMFAO@NCP being responsible for aftercare for that one hour!! i'm not laughing at you, i'm just laughing at the whole idea of having to arrange a sitter for two kids for one hour in a city where he knows no one, nor is he going to shell out money to pay a facility for one hour.

but i will take that into consideration in the wording of the next letter i write.

thank you!

 

[casa]

yep..it's court ordered parenting classes.


LMFAO@NCP being responsible for aftercare for that one hour!! i'm not laughing at you, i'm just laughing at the whole idea of having to arrange a sitter for two kids for one hour in a city where he knows no one, nor is he going to shell out money to pay a facility for one hour.

but i will take that into consideration in the wording of the next letter i write.

thank you!

You're a Mom, network. It's easier, faster, less conflict. Surely your child knows at least ONE student @ the school who goes directly home afterwards? I'd contact those parent(s) and see if the kids can spend an hour with a friend everyday. I do this for a friend on 2 days a week for only 1 1/2 hrs while she fights traffic.

At least try that first.

And, even if the school doesn't have an afterschool program...in CA there are TONS of YMCA's &/or Big Brother's, Big Sister's orgs. Did you check any of those out?

I'm approaching this as if the situation were entirely up to you- and there was NO option of a Dad being there (because if he fights you, that's what you are dealing wtih anyway).

 

[Suzz]

i will call again with the same offer of the kids being available at 5pm if he cannot pick them up at his requested shceduled time per the court order. Now, if he wants to be a prick about this he'll call the cops each time. does he have a standing?

So HE requested that his time be expanded to the timeframe it is now ... and yet he expects you to still do pick up during his visitation time? Or am I misreading?

 

[Isis1]

You're a Mom, network. It's easier, faster, less conflict. Surely your child knows at least ONE student @ the school who goes directly home afterwards? I'd contact those parent(s) and see if the kids can spend an hour with a friend everyday. I do this for a friend on 2 days a week for only 1 1/2 hrs while she fights traffic.

At least try that first.

And, even if the school doesn't have an afterschool program...in CA there are TONS of YMCA's &/or Big Brother's, Big Sister's orgs. Did you check any of those out?

I'm approaching this as if the situation were entirely up to you- and there was NO option of a Dad being there (because if he fights you, that's what you are dealing wtih anyway).

i have actually tried networking, problem is, every single one of those mothers don't speak english (i speak no spanish) and the one other parent that actually agreed to introduce herself to me has a "no friends til homework is done" policy. which i totally agree with. and given the NCP's habit of being physically agressive and completely rude, subjecting that woman to his frustration wouldn't be fair. but i definitely will check into the YMCA! they do offer a pick up program. which i can print and send to the NCP with the costs of the program (it's a rate according to income) so he can make arrangements for his vistational time.

 

[Isis1]

So HE requested that his time be expanded to the timeframe it is now ... and yet he expects you to still do pick up during his visitation time? Or am I misreading?

no, you read that right. he has no intention of arranging his schedule to pick up the children at their school let out times. he is doing it this friday only as i let him know if he cannot pick them up, they won't be available until the following day otherwise. being available for my children isn't the problem, it's having to wait around when i have things to do and errands to run when he decides to show up at his convenience. i wanted to stick to strickly the court order. he needs me to make allowances on a visit to visit basis.

maybe i was reading the court order wrong, but he should be picking up the kindergartner at 11:40 am and the older one ar 2pm on wednesdays. and the same for every other friday with the exception of 3pm when the 4th grader gets out.

 

[StampGirl]

This entire thread makes me giggle!!

I received an email (one of about 8) the other day from my Ex. He has "issues" with being responsible for picking up the kids when its his friday. Mind you its ONLY 2 Friday's a month and lately with him choosing to work the third friday of the month its down to 1 Friday a month.

Anyways, he is whining about what he will have to do when I move in May. I am getting married and moving to the south end of the city. So he will have to drive an additional 15 minutes to pick up the elementary school kids then back to the Jr High (on his way home) to pick up the 7th grader. Poor baby.

Get this? He wants me to "figure something out so he can just pick them all up together at 3pm at the police station". We do exchanges that do not occur at the schools at the police dept. Dont ask. LONG story.

Yeah right!!! Um let me just LEAVE work, drive an hour to pick them up, wait for you then go back to work (missing 3 hrs of work).

Ok....Im done!!! I can sympathize with you OP.

Call the YMCA and figure that out with them and bill the Dad. Sounds good to me

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Sorry to post and run earlier

Sounds like DAD has an issue that HE needs to deal with.