NCP suing for Custody

[nghia4ever]

HELP! NCP is suing for Custody!

Los Angeles, Calif. NCP has not seen daughter in over 5 years. She is 6years old now. (We were never married.) He never expressed interest to see her until last year. Said no, because all he wanted to do was just "see" her and come and go as he pleases. He dissapeared, then a year later (last month) called again to express intrest in seeing her. In the mean time, we are going through CS modification in which he had the case continued because the DA ordered him to pay $400 more in CS and wants to fight it cause he now wants to establish a relationship with daugther and to also get the payments lowered. He then hired an attorney a month before we return to the DA's office to sue me for visitation, Joint physical and legal custody. My daughter has not seen him at all. She doesn't even know he exists. She thinks my fiance will be her father. I am sure the judge will give him some kind of visitation, but what should I expect in regards to the Joint physical & legal that he wants? What kind of visitation will he get?

Please help! Thanks in advance.

 

[rickcori]

I think one of the best things you can probably do right now is invest in a lawyer. Its hard to say what kind of visitation he will get depending on an excuse. He could always say you never let him see her excuse which worked with my ex. But when it all came down I think you have to think what is right for your daughter. She does need her father and if he is willing to change then maybe its time to get them together. Im sure he wont be eligible for physical but Joint legal maybe. You can also ask for supervised visitation since he hasn't spent any time with her. There is no judge that will tell the father he has no right to see her unless she might be in danger. I mean think about it, I know you say your fiance is like her father but your child is seriously going to wonder in her head why her own blood father wants nothing to do with her unless you do let it happen then she will see for herself and maybe things will work out. Also if you get visitation set up and he fails to meet required visitation then the judge will definetly have something to sink his teeth into. Just make sure you document everything and anything and the minute he decides to slip up then he is in contempt. Good luck.

 

[july_child]

Hello, Nghia4ever. I don't know how the laws work in CA b/c I live in VA. But there's no way a judge is going to award joint physical b/c the child doesn't even know the father!!! How can she spend half the time with him when he is a stranger to him. That's ridiculous. As for joint legal, he shouldn't even get that but as I mentioned before I don't know the laws in CA. My child's father saw her once every other month and hasn't seen her for 6 months. He took me to court for custody/visitation. I got a lawyer b/c I wanted to make sure I retained custody. He didn't show up and I was awarded sole legal/physical custody. I was told that since he wasn't around half the time that him getting physical custody was a joke and joint legal was a possiblity depending on the judge. If the father tells the judge he's going to be more involved they give them a chance. In your case, he hasn't been around for 5 years...so in my opinion he doesn't need any say legally in her life until he proves that he's going to be around. I would definitely consult a lawyer. You should also ask for supervised limited visitation until he gets to know the child. It's not fair to her if she had to leave with a stranger even if it is her father. That shouldn't be a big issue. I don't see any judge giving anything but supervised visitation. Please seek a CA family lawyer to give you more information. Good luck!

 

[TxStep]

The fact that the father has not seen your daughter in 5 years may not work in your favor because YOU prevented contact. The father has a right to see his child, even if as you said, he just wants to "see" her. If you are willing to take his money, you need to be willing to have him involved in other ways, too. Fathers do not exist only for financial support.

 

[nghia4ever]

Going to court!

In regards to the last reply;

The fact that the father has not seen your daughter in 5 years may not work in your favor because YOU prevented contact. The father has a right to see his child, even if as you said, he just wants to "see" her. If you are willing to take his money, you need to be willing to have him involved in other ways, too. Fathers do not exist only for financial support.

The father has not seen my daughter because of his own will. He made no effort for 5 years and only tried to make contact when he was served for a modification for child support. In return I told him that if he wanted to have any contact with her, he would have to take me to court and seek visitation. He did nothing for a year and then when we went to court for support, he was apalled that he had to pay 3times the amount. He then in turn served me with for legal joint and physical custody.

I know that the courts will grant him some vistation even though I feel that he is not at mind at taking responsiblilty to be her father. I'm sure he will come around once or twice and then disappear. He has no bond with her and she is a shy and quiet child. Can not get along no matter what. We are both in a different frame of mind. I am lookingout for the best intrest in my daughter, and he is still blaming me for having her. I was just inquiring if any one knew what the courts would do in my situation in California.

Thanks for all your replies!

 

[july_child]

He will get some type of visitation even if it's supervised. Considering his track record, like you said, he won't exercise the visitation so it's not a big deal. I would suggests retaining a lawyer to make sure your child's interest are taking care of. He probably wants to get the visitation done legally so maybe he can get a reduction in support. I'm not familiar with the laws in CA about joint custody. Good luck!

 

[nghia4ever]

thanks july_child

Your right, i am seeking a attorney. I have an appointment tomorrow and a court date on the 24th. I'm sure that he is doing this out of spite for me and to lower the support payments. He has no intrest in being in my daughters life. The only sad part is telling my daughter about him and then explaining to her why he doesn't come around.

 

[nghia4ever]

update after seeking legal advice

I went to a lawyer and she was great. She confirmed that he would only get at most 10% vistitaion. And it would be supervised 1 or 2 hours every other weekend on Sundays. He would not get joint physical due to the fact that he is a stranger to both me and my daughter. (we only dated for 3 months until i got pregnant) Legal custody, most likely. But I'm sure he's looking for a way out to pay less. I got to court on Monday for support in which he had continued. Will they continue my case once again because he is trying to get visitation to make it lowered or will they just make him pay what was determined because the amount of visitation will not be significant enough to lower his payments or can they have it continued again just to make sure how much % he will actually get?

Hope someone can help!

Thanks-

 

[nghia4ever]

just trying to get advice

Does anyone have any legal advice to my posts?

Thanks-

 

[july_child]

Research child support laws

You might want to call your local child support enforcement agency to get more information. Or search on the internet.

 

[nghia4ever]

Thanks for your advice. Wish me luck Monday.

 

[july_child]

Court

Nghia4ever, what happened in court on Monday?????

 

[nghia4ever]

Great news!

Hi July,
Well things went very well. He showed up with a lawyer and at first I got nervous. My DA was very cool with me and my case. My ex's lawyer wanted to agree on 20% and questioned her schooling/daycare amount and didn't want to add that. He said he wanted evidence and I showed him my carbon copy of the check that I wrote out and he was like, no. I need to see the actual dup. check. Whatever, my DA said it was good enough and said that we could go into a hearing to dispute the childcare issue with the judge and that there is no way he would get 20% off the back since he never has been with my daughter.
Long story short, he hired a lawyer for nothing. He now owes me 5 months in arrears w/10 % interest and my new CS amount is $600. The DA computed 0% visitation. If he wants to do a modification, he has to do it on his own.

We have mediation next week for visitation/custody. Hopefully he won't show. (I doubt it. I'm sure he will be there) I will ask for
1 hour every other Sunday for 6 months and if he is consistant, he can have more time with her. He will also have to take a parenting class before he meets her, since he is not around children. Do you think this is possible?

Let me know your thoughts....

 

[smh33]

1. You said 5 years no contact..until he got the notice of 'modification'....5 months arrears....has to pay 3x amount.....
this indicates to me he has apparently been paying support faithfully atleast until 5 months ago...? If there was a support order already, what about custody?
2. Visitation is a right, exercising the right is a choice. If not married, not custody order...you have legal,sole custody as the mom. Dad has not established rights so legally his no visits are not wrong, morality different issue.
3.Have you changed or grown as a person in the last 5 years? Don't be so sure your ex hasn't gone through some changes & increased support can result in increased interest in visitation that is exercised...
4.Think you have to give him atleast 2 hours evo Sunday...I mean what can you do in 1 hour....15 mins is getting in & out of the car with kids??? You know.
5. Parenting classes?? Is the guy really that big a doof? If you have not seen in 5 years, do you know his info....he has not been around any children in the last years, no nieces,cousins,etc??? Also how long you knew dad before baby has no bearing on dad's right to be dad...he didn't donate less to the creation based on knowing you briefly.
6.Making him prove consistancy to increase time is probably good but, do not be totally inflexible, things do happen unexpectedly. Any reason you give your child for dad's absence should not be derogatory.

 

[july_child]

I know you're glad that part is over.....

Well that didn't seem too bad about the child support. Why did they go back 5 months? Did he stop paying b/c of the increase? As for the visitation, I would do more than one hour. Probably 3-4 hours. Does he live near you? Considering he doesn't know the child at all you should request supervised visitation. I'm sure your child would be more comfortable with you there. I know you probably don't have 2 words to say to her father but it will make your daughter more comfortable until she gets to know him if he sticks around. You could agree to do it for 6 months only on paper and if he is consistent and your daughter wants to spend more time with him, let her. It all depends on what he does but I wouldn't agree to any more legally until he proves that he is going to be around. When I went to court for custody/visitation, the judge ordered both of us to take a parenting class. It wasn't to teach you how to take care of relate to kids, it was about raising a child with 2 separate/different households and how to communicate with difficult co-parents. I would suggest that both of you take the class. It's not a big deal but the judge will look on that positively. I don't see why they will not make him take the class if you request it. As for custody.......since he hasn't been around at all you should have sole custody BUT since he is acting like now he wants to be a part of her life AFTER 5 years....they might give joint legal. You will get sole physical custody. I would make a list of what you want out the mediation and a list of what you can live with. You don't want to agree to anything that is going to make you and your child miserable. To me it seems as though he doesn't have much leeway visitation wise since he hasn't made an effort. You know and have raised your daughter so you know what's best and I'm sure you want to protect her interests. Go with what makes you comfortable and you can always increase it if he sticks around.