Need Advice About Relinguishing Parental Rights

[bribrizgirl]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Michigan
I need help on understanding something. My husband needs information on relinquishing his parental rights is this permissibal in the state Michigan? And by doing this would he still be responsible for child support?

 

[brisgirl825]

The majority of states will not allow a TPR w/o an adoption usually by a step-parent. He would also need the ex's permission to do this as well.

If everyone is in agreement and there is a SD to adopt, he may TPR and he would no longer be required to pay present and future support. Anything in arrears or owed to the state, he will continue to pay.

 

[Rushia]

Here's what I found. Looks like the answer is NO unless there is a Stepparent to adopt.

http://search.netscape.com/ns/boomframe.jsp?query=Termination+of+Parental+Rights+in+Michigan&page=1&offset=0&result_url=redir?src=websearch&requestId=9664460e3f715817&clickedItemRank=10&userQuery=Termination+of+Parental+Rights+in+Michigan&clickedItemURN=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.childcustody.net%2F45.html&invocationType=-&fromPage=NSCPResults&ampTest=1&remove_url=http://www.childcustody.net/45.html

 

[enjay]

Imagine a world where every man (or woman) who didn't want to pay child support was able to just relinquish his (or her) rights and walk away from the responsibility. Thankfully, it doesn't work like that.

If there is a step-parent willing to adopt he'd be able to do it. Otherwise...nope.

 

[bribrizgirl]

Ordered to pay 716.00 a month for support

This is the whole story from the beginning. Today my husband was ordered to pay $716.00 in child support. Up to this point he was trying to be fair with the mother of the child. Both my husband and the bio mom had agreed to $500.00 monthly for support, he would claim to the child who at this time is now 10 ( he was served in Feb 2005, took a paternity test, found to be the father June 2005, whent before the referee in wayne county in July conclusion at that time was order that my husband pay 739.00 then reduced it to 716.00, defense attorney objected it then was going to be heard by a judge, which happened today) every year except for tax year 2005, child in discussion would have last name changed to represent the father's last na me first then the mother's (seperated by a hyphen) and that for the summer vacation it would be 50/50. In the beginning this is what the childs mother and my husband had agreed upon. Within the last week she totally changed her mind. Childs mom now claims that the child had decided to keep mother's last name first then followed by my husbands last name, she wanted to be able to claim child every other year and she wanted the summer vacation to be rotated every two weeks in duration. My husband has alot at stake currently I am a full-time student and still trying to find a full-time job to make ends meet but the job adventure is not panning out I have been wo work since May 2005. We were told by my husbands attorney that the courts do not recognize current expenses as a consideration when calculating support. I have a child with my husband (a two year old) and a son who is twelve and the courts don't recognize him because my husband did not adopt him so basically they are saying forget the twelve year old.
The deduction they gave for my daughter is 444.00 this is not including her daycare cost when I find work again (my daughter is already registered and signed up with a daycare they are just waiting for me to find a job so I can bring her back)that cost is 588.00 a month for daycare cost based on four weeks in a month.

The problem my husband has with this mother is the simple fact that this women is on assistance has been for 17 years now she is 33 yrs old has three children by three different men ranging in age 17 to 5 the youngest is by a married man, she pops up after ten years claiming my husband to be the father and in addition to it all there is another man's name on the birth certificate. So because they can't get the others fathers to pay they are trying to attack my husband with 716.00 for one child when they calculated his two year old daughter at 444.00 not including daycare cost. I don't understand it, the laws and how they can tear down another family because of one child it is not fair. They in reality took nothing into consideration yes, they did some calculation and came up with some figures but off the top they considered nothing.

This women has a felony fraud charge with the state of Michigan. She was recieving monies for caring for her grandfather through the state and when he died she did not report that and kept recieving a check which they eventually found out and she was indicted and had to pay it back and yet she is still getting public assistance from the vary agency she frauded. I just don't understand. We are tax paying citizen making an honest living and my husband stepping up to the plate to do the right thing and they slammed him hard to the ground like this.

My husband is a houskeeper working for one of the Big 3, granted he make 24.98 an hour he is union. I may look and sound good because this doesnt come often, heck no one is going to get a job like that making that kind of money hourly but the reality of it all is quite frank my husband lives pay check to paycheck we have bills we don't have money sitting in the bank accruing interest we have bills to pay. Some would say that we ourliving beyond our means but that is not true at all we have a house mortgage that is $1284.54 this is not a new house (1950). I don't know what to do my husband is extremely angry at the world right now he is threatening to quit his job and be homeless. I just don't know what to do, all I can do is be here for him and keep trying to find a job myself. this is so frustrating no one wants to hire me and pay me for what I'm worth I'm not going to school for nothing.

My kids and I need my husband I want to find resolution so we can live and be content and not be streesed out bythis situation and slowly loose everything by falling behind on our responsibilities. The mother of this child now lives with her mother because she can't keep a job due to her felony fraud charge (supposedly) so she was evicted from the home she was living in and she is acting like my husband owes her something.

If anyone know how to help or has suggestions or advice please do respond. We desperately need help in some type of relief from all this.

 

[Rushia]

This is the whole story from the beginning. Today my husband was ordered to pay $716.00 in child support. Up to this point he was trying to be fair with the mother of the child. Both my husband and the bio mom had agreed to $500.00 monthly for support, he would claim to the child who at this time is now 10 ( he was served in Feb 2005, took a paternity test, found to be the father June 2005, whent before the referee in wayne county in July conclusion at that time was order that my husband pay 739.00 then reduced it to 716.00, defense attorney objected it then was going to be heard by a judge, which happened today) every year except for tax year 2005, child in discussion would have last name changed to represent the father's last nanme first then the mother's (seperated by a hyphen) and that for the summer vacation it would be 50/50. In the beginning this is what the childs mother and my husband had agreed upon. Within the last week she totally changed her mind. Childs mom now claims that the child had decided to keep mother's last name first then followed by my husbands last name, she wanted to be able to claim child every other year and she wanted the summer vacation to be rotated every two weeks in duration. My husband has alot at stake currently I am a full-time student and still trying to find a full-time job to make ends meet but the job adventure is not panning out I have been wo work since May 2005. We were told by my husbands attorney that the courts do not recognize current expenses as a consideration when calculating support. I have a child with my husband (a two year old) and a son who is twelve and the courts don't recognize him because my husband did not adopt him so basically they are saying forget the twelve year old.
The deduction they gave for my daughter is 444.00 this is not including her daycare cost when I find work again (my daughter is already registered and signed up with a daycare they are just waiting for me to find a job so I can bring her back)that cost is 588.00 a month for daycare cost based on four weeks in a month.

The problem my husband has with this mother is the simple fact that this women is on assistance has been for 17 years now she is 33 yrs old has three children by three different men ranging in age 17 to 5 the youngest is by a married man. They can't get the others fathers to pay why is it that they are trying to attack my husband with 716.00 for one child when they calculated his two year old daughter at 444.00 not including daycare cost. I don't understand it, the laws and how they can tear down another family because of one child it is not fair. They in reality took nothing into consideration yes, they did some calculation and came up with some figures but off the top they considered nothing.

This women has a felony fraud charge with the state of Michigan. She was recieving monies for caring for her grandfather through the state and when he died she did not report that and kept recieving a check which they eventually found out and she was indicted and had to pay it back and yet she is still getting public assistance from the vary agency she frauded. I just don't understand. We are tax paying citizen making an honest living and my husband stepping up to the plate to do the right thing and they slammed him hard to the ground like this.

My husband is a houskeeper working for one of the Big 3, granted he make 24.98 an hour he is union. I may look and sound good because this doesnt come often, heck no one is going to get a job like that making that kind of money hourly but the reality of it all is quite frank my husband lives pay check to paycheck we have bills we don't have money sitting in the bank accruing interest we have bills to pay. Some would say that we ourliving beyond our means but that is not true at all we have a house mortgage that is $1284.54 this is not a new house (1950). I don't know what to do my husband is extremely angry at the world right now he is threatening to quit his job, he is saying that he is going to buy a gun and kill himself (he did when he was 17) I just don't know what to do, all I can do is be here for him and keep trying to find a job myself. this is so frustrating no one wants to hire me and pay me for what I'm worth I'm not going to school for nothing.

My kids and I need my husband I want to find resolution so we can live and be content and not be streesed out bythis situation and slowly loose everything by falling behind on our responsibilities. The mother of this child now lives with her mother because she can't keep a job due to her felony fraud charge (supposedly) so she was evicted from the home she was living in and she is acting like my husband owes her something.

If anyone know how to help or has suggestions or advice please do respond. We desperately need help in some type of relief from all this.

I'm sorry, but theres not a whole lot you can do. He can't TPR without a stepparent adoption esp if she is getting state aid. If he quits his job, that's not going to do him a lot of good as then he will be "voluntarily underemployed" and as such his support would most likely remain the same. If he is threatening suicide then perhaps you should seek therapy for him. I'm not trying to sound flip here, but this is how things work.

 

[brisgirl825]

she wanted to be able to claim child every other year.

That is pretty standard and she should also have the benefit of the tax deduction every other year too.

I have a child a son who is twelve and the courts don't recognize him because my husband did not adopt him so basically they are saying forget the twelve year old.

Then go after that child's dad for support, it's not your husband's job.

The deduction they gave for my daughter is 444.00.

That's actually a considerable amount.

They can't get the others fathers to pay why is it that they are trying to attack my husband with 716.00 for one child when they calculated.

It goes by incomes and your husband makes a considerable wage. They don't pick a number out of their a$$es.

This women has a felony fraud charge with the state of Michigan.

So...

my husband is extremely angry at the world right now he is threatening to quit his job.

Well, that wouldn't be smart. Voluntary unemployment is not rewarded with a downward modification. So he'll make less money and pay the same amount in support.

he is saying that he is going to buy a gun and kill himself (he did when he was 17)

So he's dead?

If anyone know how to help or has suggestions or advice please do respond. We desperately need help in some type of relief from all this.

Get a job, no matter how much it pays.

 

[CJane]

she is acting like my husband owes her something.

He does. He owes her exactly what the court order states. Yeah, it's a lot, but the state doesn't care that your house payment is astronomical, or that you're willing to pay $600/month for daycare, or anything else. They look at all of that as choices that you make, not as extenuating circumstances that make it ok to not support an existing child ESPECIALLY since the mom is on state aid (regardless of the reasoning).

 

[bribrizgirl]

He did not know he had a son until February 2005

My husband did not know he had a son until this year, February 2005. The bio mom kept the child from my husband for ten years and had another man's name on the birth certificate and fradulently accused another man to be the father and lied to the state on top of it all. This mom is not trying to do better for herself or her family, this women is trying to depend on three different fathers for financial support for her three kids instead of taking the responsibility as a parent and getting off of her butt and getting a job and being a role model for her children she has three boys and all they see is a different man moving in each month and and moving out one to two months later. What type of lifestyle is that for a child to witness, there is no solid foundation but here the courts say my husband has to be responsible but where is her responsiblity (the childs mom)??????? This sickens me that the law is like that. I wish they would all together get rid of "The Family Independent Agency" so these dead beat people get off their butts and get a job and stop depending on the state or the other spouse (man or Women) for free income.

 

[stepmom&mom]

I feel for you. I've never been in agreement that subsequent children are of less value than the first (think if our welfare system told moms who have ten kids this!) Your husband does make quite a bit of money, and the truth is, CSE is going to take advantage of that to make up for the other kids whose dads aren't paying. It's doesn't seem morally right, but that's the way it is. Your best bet is to get a lawyer and attempt to get as many deductions as you can. Does your husband provide insurance for his child? Is there a standing visitation order (because the more days he spends with dad, the lower the child support will be)? Good luck and hold your head up.

 

[bribrizgirl]

I feel for you. I've never been in agreement that subsequent children are of less value than the first (think if our welfare system told moms who have ten kids this!) Your husband does make quite a bit of money, and the truth is, CSE is going to take advantage of that to make up for the other kids whose dads aren't paying. It's doesn't seem morally right, but that's the way it is. Your best bet is to get a lawyer and attempt to get as many deductions as you can. Does your husband provide insurance for his child? Is there a standing visitation order (because the more days he spends with dad, the lower the child support will be)? Good luck and hold your head up.

He is ordered to pay insurance this is not a problem, the visitation is not a problem up to this point he was getting the child every other weekend and he had him this past week. I don't think they took his visitation into consideration. My husband is not a dead beat dad he tried to do the best thing for his sons benefit. Now my husband has plans to do himself in because of this. Now my family is being torn apart by this disruption. I don't know what I'm going to do if he follows through with doing himself in I need my husband and my kids need their father. I'm scared because I am still looking for a job and bills are due and now this. My heart is slowly starting to break because of this.

 

[stepmom&mom]

I would recommend you take up bleulaluna's offer and pm her for the stepmom site. It might be of help to you.

 

[kat1963]

Sounds like it's time to circle the wagons for a custody battle. Don't THINK she has a felony record, FIND OUT for sure!
Lotsa' reading & support here:
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/articles.htm
KAT

 

[NotSoNew]

i feel for you too, my BF's support order is 624 a month and we simply cant afford it. mom had no job so BF has to pay 100%. They dont care that we cant afford our bills, just that BF makes enough to be able to pay 624 a month. Its really depressing and we went through a really rough time dealing with it. Our only hope that we hold onto is getting this amount reduced in the future. When mom goes back to work we will file for a reduction, if she doesnt we will file when she claims her taxes because we KNOW shes receiving an income. As soon as she agrees to more time, we will file for a reduction then (right now we dont meet the 28% required for parenting time to get a credit). They also didnt give him enough of a credit for the health insurance so we will ask to change that. We are gonna find anything we can to get this amount reduced so we can afford to live. What gets me is the credit he gets for our daughter is 3100 a year, but it costs 7488 a year for DD #2. thats fair right? NOT!

 

[bribrizgirl]

I agree totally

i feel for you too, my BF's support order is 624 a month and we simply cant afford it. mom had no job so BF has to pay 100%. They dont care that we cant afford our bills, just that BF makes enough to be able to pay 624 a month. Its really depressing and we went through a really rough time dealing with it. Our only hope that we hold onto is getting this amount reduced in the future. When mom goes back to work we will file for a reduction, if she doesnt we will file when she claims her taxes because we KNOW shes receiving an income. As soon as she agrees to more time, we will file for a reduction then (right now we dont meet the 28% required for parenting time to get a credit). They also didnt give him enough of a credit for the health insurance so we will ask to change that. We are gonna find anything we can to get this amount reduced so we can afford to live. What gets me is the credit he gets for our daughter is 3100 a year, but it costs 7488 a year for DD #2. thats fair right? NOT!

I just don't know what to do we are just getting started with as of yesterday. This childish female called our house twice last night and did not say a word, then called this afternoon I started to speak a different language then she hung up not less then ten minutes after that a male called asking for my husband, I asked who's calling this person took to long to answer then said Charlie, the funny thing is my husband doesnt know anyone name charlie and it came from the same number that has been calling our house. This female is beside herself with anger and out to get revenge for my husband not wanting her. The judge did however award my husband the ability to claims his son for tax purposes. In their agreement they had aside from the support ordered my husband wanted to claim him every year after 2005 tax season she was at the time in agreement to it but now she has since moved back in with her mother along with her three kids age 17, 10 and 5. I think her mother had something to do with the change of heart regarding my husband claiming his son. When he dropped his son off this past Sunday they had a discussion that turned into an argument because she now wanted to be able to claim her son every other year and she wanted her son to keep her married name she had when she was last married of which that man is also on my husband's son birth certificate. This is so screwed up my husband refuses to watch everything he worked so hard for to slowly disappear because we will not be able to afford it while this trifle female continues to sit on her butt doing nothing for her children or even herself for that matter with her straw in my husband's wallet. Because of this food is being taken from my children's mouth. That kid is not going to benefit from that 716.00. That female has a habit that comes before her family (cigarettes) and the funny thing about that is even when she claims to have no money she always manages to get her hands on a pack of cigarettes. Go figure. Situations like this really make you start thinking of some crazy thing to do. All I can do is be there for my husband and help him financially regain what is being taken from us. First I have to get one of these companies out there to hire me. I am so tired of repeating myself over and over again in these interviews. I don't know what these companies are looking for obviously I met the criteria to be inteviewed, then I'm complimented on all aspect of my experience and my resume package. I just don't understand then why not hire me. I know GOD has a plan for me. When do I get my reward. I am so tired of the job drama, the baby momma drama, I really need a time out.........permanently this is all to over whelming for me to handle then my husband contemplates suicide and tells me to hurry up and find a job, he wants me to do all the leg room advertising one of our bedrooms for rent and moving my daughters stuff out of the room he wants to rent out and he wants me to act quickly because his patience is running out and he swears he will carry out his original plan if plan B does'nt work.
Killing himself - I can't convince him otherwise he feels this is his only way out from it all instead of watching himself slowly loose everything he has work so hard for. My husband has been through so much since he was a child he has already attempted in the past to take his own life he was seventeen, he is now 37 but he claims to still have the same mentality. I don't know if he is capable of repeating history but I don't want to find out
I don't know what else to say, I just know we need help.