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Aylib

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (Minnesota)?

Hello,
I'll start out by saying that I am very new to legal matters, terminology, criminal system, etc.

Roughly a month ago, my wife and I started arguing. We were sitting in different rooms, without any physical confrontation or threats. We were basically having an ugly, pointless shouting match, yelling f-- you back and forth. She then called the cops, saying she felt threatened. When they showed up, they told me to leave the house, also telling me that I'm getting a break, since one of the cops noticed my dog tags laying on the floor. We chatted about serving in the military for a bit, and he said that he understands where I am coming from (I told him I had PTSD after serving in iraq) and will give me a break. He also gave me his number to call in case I just need to talk. I spent the night elsewhere, then we patched things up, my wife saying she shouldn't have called the police, but she was too angry and didn't think rationally.

Few days ago we had another fight, in which she started to hit me and throw things at me. When I tried to leave the house, she got in the way and would not let me out, blocking the doorway. I told her to let me get out. She would not, instead continuing to hit me. I grabbed her and threw her out of my way. Then she went to sit on the bed, and I followed her, grabbing the bed and tipping it on the side, making my wife fall to the floor. Knowing I was way too angry, I left the house. When I came back about an hour later, there was a squad car in our driveway.

I left again, for a whole week this time. When we spoke on the phone days later, she told me that the cops aren't going to do anything, and that she just told them we had a fight, thats it.
Shortly afterwards I received a notice saying I am due in court in a month, charges being gross misdemeanor domestic assault and/or fear of great bodily harm/death.
I am not familir with the penalties, or the proceedings. She is telling me this isn't going to go on my record, all she has to do is call them and ask to withdraw the charge, or not show up at the hearing, or ask to dismiss it then. I was under the impression that it is not only her, but also the city/county that is involved, am I wrong? In other words, it will take more than her petition to get the charge to be dropped.

Sorry about the long rant, and thank you for your input.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


MALEDVCOLORADO

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (Minnesota)?

Hello,
I'll start out by saying that I am very new to legal matters, terminology, criminal system, etc.

Roughly a month ago, my wife and I started arguing. We were sitting in different rooms, without any physical confrontation or threats. We were basically having an ugly, pointless shouting match, yelling f-- you back and forth. She then called the cops, saying she felt threatened. When they showed up, they told me to leave the house, also telling me that I'm getting a break, since one of the cops noticed my dog tags laying on the floor. We chatted about serving in the military for a bit, and he said that he understands where I am coming from (I told him I had PTSD after serving in iraq) and will give me a break. He also gave me his number to call in case I just need to talk. I spent the night elsewhere, then we patched things up, my wife saying she shouldn't have called the police, but she was too angry and didn't think rationally.

Few days ago we had another fight, in which she started to hit me and throw things at me. When I tried to leave the house, she got in the way and would not let me out, blocking the doorway. I told her to let me get out. She would not, instead continuing to hit me. I grabbed her and threw her out of my way. Then she went to sit on the bed, and I followed her, grabbing the bed and tipping it on the side, making my wife fall to the floor. Knowing I was way too angry, I left the house. When I came back about an hour later, there was a squad car in our driveway.

I left again, for a whole week this time. When we spoke on the phone days later, she told me that the cops aren't going to do anything, and that she just told them we had a fight, thats it.
Shortly afterwards I received a notice saying I am due in court in a month, charges being gross misdemeanor domestic assault and/or fear of great bodily harm/death.
I am not familir with the penalties, or the proceedings. She is telling me this isn't going to go on my record, all she has to do is call them and ask to withdraw the charge, or not show up at the hearing, or ask to dismiss it then. I was under the impression that it is not only her, but also the city/county that is involved, am I wrong? In other words, it will take more than her petition to get the charge to be dropped.

Sorry about the long rant, and thank you for your input.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Minnesota,

I am sorry for what your going through. I am going to almost an identical situation as yours. We had a fight except the cops arrested me and because I was in the military (ARMY) infantry soldier I had the potential to be extremely violent. MY spouse assaulted me and wouldnt let me leave a few days earlier busting my lip knocking teeth loose and biting my back. when she had realized what I did she then started to cry and would not let me leave. She apologized and I didnt call the cops. I waited for her to leave and grabbed what I could and left. I removed myself off the lease and just wanted out of the abusive relationship. I came back two days later as I was going to leave the state and she would not let me get my things. I pushed the door open, she called the cops and they came and arrested me on the spot. They loaded the charges against me and I told them what she had did to me two days prior and they hesitated to arrest her put I had pictures proving what she did. We both were arrested and bonded out and tried to reconcile for my sons sake. Two days prior to my court date we get into it because she is cheating on me. I grabbed her phone she chases me and the phone breaks. SHe begins to hit me and kick me, I push her out they way and we go to our own rooms. The next morning I ask if I can have my son for his b-day after school and she says yes. She goes and drops my son off and goes to the police station and waits for the detective that was handling the previous case and tells her that I assaulted her and wouldnt let her leave the house. The detectives come and get me and load me up on as much charges as they can find (read my post). They arrest her for just violating the protection order. I spend 1o minutes in my holding cell defending myself on the bruises and marks I have with them telling me they dont believe she did this to me and that the marks dont look fresh. So now here I am prior to one month ago I had no criminal history and now one month later I have a long criminal history. Spent nine years defending this country only to have them turn on me. The cops only cared about rushing me down there and building a case against me where all the charges they placed would stick. SO I understand what your going through. DOn't contact her. THe state picks up charges and the young prosecutors only worry about putting hashmarks on the wall to say they won and they will offer you a bogus plea deal that will tarnish your record forever. YOu will never own a handgun again and you will have dv on your record. Its a shame how you can lay your life on the line multiple times overseas only to come back and be spit on by this police officers.
 

Hot Topic

Senior Member
"Colorado," you should have started your own thread instead of trying to divert interest in Aylib's thread to yours.

The disposition of the case is up to the District Attorney, not you, Aylib, or your wife.

Yours sounds like a case of mutual combat. She threw things at you and hit you. She later sat on the bed, which you intentionally tipped so she'd fall off.

You need an attorney and serious marriage counseling.
 

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