Need advice

[crusheroz]

What is the name of your state? Arkansas
I am getting this info for my sister. She is having alot of problems with her ex boyfriend concerning their son. As of now she no longer lets him see their son. She has had to file charges against him for threats against her life and other things. She has told him if he wants to she their son to take her to court. Here is the thing, he is no where on the birth cerificate, he has never paid a dime of child support to her, or for that matter paid for anything. He is currently behind thousands of dollars in child support to another woman for his other child he never sees. He does not work. He gives lazy a whole new meaning. She is getting married soon and would like her husband to adpot her son. Does she have any chance of this happening?

 

[Beth Pouncey]

Crusheroz...
from what I understand for her new husband to adopt the child, the bio father's rights have to be terminated...meaning he has to sign over his parental rights. Your sister would know if there is any chance of him doing that.

 

[crusheroz]

Well, he isnt going to sign his rights over. She really wishes that she had never told him about the pregnancy. It has been a total nightmare on her and her son.

 

[Grace_Adler]

You might want to look this web site over and see if he has done anything on there that would be a cause to have his parental rights terminated. For example, in some states not paying support for a year or more and/or not seeing the child for a year or more would be considered abandonment and would be cause to have them terminated.

http://www.calib.com/nccanch/pubs/sag/groundtermin.cfm

Has support been ordered yet or has a paternity test been done? Because if the answer is no then I don't think he has any rights anyway. I mean the guy down the street could claim to be the child's father but without proof how would anyone know? You know what I mean?

 

[crusheroz]

There has never been a paternity test done. And there is no support order. There is no doubt about him being the father. She just wants him to go away and leave them alone. He has told her he will never pay her any money to help raise their son, but he sure does want him all time. She has told him if he wants to see him take her to court. Well she knows he doesnt have the money to do that, plus there will need to be a paternity test to prove he is the father. And he cant pay for that either. So I guess he is out of luck there. I will let her know about the web site. She has filed charges against him for threating her. So maybe something will happen with that.

 

[stealth2]

Even if she hadn't told him, she would have to disclose the father (and probably have a paternity test done) so he could be notified before the new husband could adopt the child. They will likely have to be married at least a year before an adoption is even considered.

 

[crusheroz]

They do have to wait the year. She was hoping didnt have to disclose who the father was. I dont have too. My husband is going to adopt my son. It maybe because he is 12 years old and my hubby have been in his life since he was 3. Thank you much.

 

[Grace_Adler]

Well I would tell him like this. If you don't sign over your rights so such and such can adopt our child then you can assume your responsibilities and I will go to CSE and open a case for you to start paying support and I will file for sole custody and let them know you have charges pending on you for threatening me. He might change his tune real quick. You never know. (Not saying if he signed them over he wouldn't be liable for support because he still would until the adoption took place.)

Do you still have to disclose who the father is if there is evidence of abuse?

 

[crusheroz]

I wish it were that simple. He wont do that. He wouldnt even sign over his rights on his other child he has. He has one support order that he is behind thousands on. He never pays for anything. He has no job. If he does work he lies about his info, so child support wont get the money. I dont know about the abuse issue. He seem to think he can do whatever he wants. I wish this nightmare was over for her.

 

[Sabrina26ford]

what about this?

Why don't you forget the whole adoption thing... And obviously forget about bio-dad too....
Why not have the Fiance once they are married file for Physicological Parent.. which basically gives him all the rights as adopted dad with out the cost or hassle....
Then go and have the childs name legal changed to the fiance and mom's last name..????

This would work in Oregon.. not sure if it would work in your state.