Need Advice

[dadwith2girls]

What is the name of your state? South Carolina

Just to give you a little bit of a background on us here is the story...
My husband and I got married in Oct. 2004 him and his ex went to court a few days after we got married. She got married the day after the court date because her lawyer told her it would make her look better. She did get to have primary caregiver of the girls now ages 3 and 4. The day after she got the papers saying that she was the primary caregiver sharing joint custody with my husband she left her new husband, and in a months time moved the kids out of his house 3 times. Each time moving them to her mothers house then out of her house back in to his. She stated to us after the first time that he was verbally abusive to her in front of the girls, yet she moved back in with him 2 more times after that. The last time she moved out was about a month and a half after they got married. Not to mention that six days before my husband and i got married she asked him to take her back which was 9 days before she married the other guy. The day after she did that she told me that she found out that she was pregnant by her soon to be husband and did not want my husband now. We think she was going to try to pass this baby off as my husbands if he would have given her a chance to make things work. This woman only worked when she first met my husband and even though now she has 3 kids, now having the new baby, she still is not trying to get a job and is living with her mother. The last time she left her husband it was because he found out she was talking to another guy over the internet and that she had already cheated on him. The guy that she was talking to is now her new boyfriend but she thinks that we do not know about him. She is not legally separated and is commiting adultry. On top of all the stuff she has done since the court date this gives my husband and I the chance to take her back to court from what my husbands lawyer tells us. Can someone tell me what kind of chance we have of getting the kids?
thanks in advance
Loving Step-mother

 

[titansfan]

mom's problems with hubby isnt your business

the mother's problems with her soon to be ex isnt any of your or your husbands business. let her and her husband work it out.you have no standing anyway, being as you have no legal rights to the kids. if yuor husband feels a change of custody is nessary, he will be the one who wil have to file. but honestly, i dont see him getting custody. nothing you have posted is enough to warrant a change in custody.

 

[dadwith2girls]

more info

South Carolina

My husbands lawyer has told him that he has a case to change custody because here in SC judges look at past and current behavior and she has shown that she is unstable in many ways. She has been physically abusive to her husband in front of the kids and that in its self here in SC is considered an unsafe environment for the kids and the affair is immoral according to our lawyer.

 

[LdiJ]

South Carolina

My husbands lawyer has told him that he has a case to change custody because here in SC judges look at past and current behavior and she has shown that she is unstable in many ways. She has been physically abusive to her husband in front of the kids and that in its self here in SC is considered an unsafe environment for the kids and the affair is immoral according to our lawyer.

While its possible that you live in a small town, with an old-fashioned judge who actually takes morality into consideration when making child custody decisions, the odds of her "affair"...which of course you woutld have to prove with solid evidence...is unlikely to matter.

If you can "prove", again with solid evidence, that she has committed domestic violence rather than being the victim of domestic violence, that has some chance of getting you somewhere....however the children are no longer living in that environment because she has moved in with her mother.

I honestly don't see this one going anywhere.

 

[mrsbrown]

Ignore messages like this. Ofcourse it is your business if she is making problems that are coming into your home via herself or the kids. Legally you have no technical input. But that doesn't mean that you and your husband can't consult eachother about going back to court. I am a step-mom as well and just because you have no legal rights doesn't mean you can't be concerned and want to educate yourself on the options for your husband.

Are you documenting the visitations your husband gets with the kids? Does the CP follow thru on that?

Document everything! And goodluck!

the mother's problems with her soon to be ex isnt any of your or your husbands business. let her and her husband work it out.you have no standing anyway, being as you have no legal rights to the kids. if yuor husband feels a change of custody is nessary, he will be the one who wil have to file. but honestly, i dont see him getting custody. nothing you have posted is enough to warrant a change in custody.

 

[dadwith2girls]

Thank you mrsbrown

I know that I hve no legal right to the kids but I treat them like they are mine and I feel like they are too so that gives me an emotional attachment to the situation. Thank you for understanding that. She has put the girls through so much that they are becoming clingy and whining with me and my husband when they are with us they can't leave our side because they think we are going to leave and not come back like the mothers current husband has done even though he wants to see them and his child with her she will not allow it

 

[mrsbrown]

I understand the attachment completely. Luckily my husband has residential custody of the kids in our case.

Your husband could definately talk to a lawyer and see what the options are. It can't hurt! Talk to social services about the behavior and find out what can be done. Also, with the support order that is in place currently...does he get the girls often? If not go for a modification and try for more visitation...anything is better then nothing.

 

[dadwith2girls]

While its possible that you live in a small town, with an old-fashioned judge who actually takes morality into consideration when making child custody decisions, the odds of her "affair"...which of course you woutld have to prove with solid evidence...is unlikely to matter.

If you can "prove", again with solid evidence, that she has committed domestic violence rather than being the victim of domestic violence, that has some chance of getting you somewhere....however the children are no longer living in that environment because she has moved in with her mother.

I honestly don't see this one going anywhere.

The current husband has written an affidavit stating the abuse while they were living together and he also put in the affidavit that she has went to see a physcologist because she was having a breakdown. The BM has also told me that she will make the kids hate me, which they don't yet but I don't know what she tells them about me.

 

[mrsbrown]

I doubt there is anything you can do about what she says to the kids about you. But if she is badmouthing the father then that is another story. He can take her to court for alienation.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Ignore messages like this. Ofcourse it is your business if she is making problems that are coming into your home via herself or the kids. Legally you have no technical input. But that doesn't mean that you and your husband can't consult eachother about going back to court. I am a step-mom as well and just because you have no legal rights doesn't mean you can't be concerned and want to educate yourself on the options for your husband.

Are you documenting the visitations your husband gets with the kids? Does the CP follow thru on that?

Document everything! And goodluck!

------------------------------------------------------------------
What is your problem? You tell someone to ignore the advice given, yet you are here CONSTANTLY asking for advice from these very people.

Have your HUSBAND hire an attorney, because you have wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy to many issues.

 

[LdiJ]

The current husband has written an affidavit stating the abuse while they were living together and he also put in the affidavit that she has went to see a physcologist because she was having a breakdown. The BM has also told me that she will make the kids hate me, which they don't yet but I don't know what she tells them about me.

A judge is highly unlikely to take an affidavit from an estranged spouse as evidence. I meant something along the lines of police reports.