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What is the name of your state? north carolina
well in may 2002 i got primary custody of my son, and his mothers care of him has always been questionable. but know since the middle of july her care has got even worse. she has failed to give him medicine 3 differant times during her weekend visit. he has come home with flea bites all over him, and them infected. he came home 4 weeks ago, and his penis was swollen and red. the doctor suspected sexal assault, but i told the doctor tyler's mother would not do that. so they left it alone. then last weekend he came home on monday with a bruise on his right leg. tyler said that mommy's boyfriend grabbed him. my lawyer says we do not have enough to take away her visitation away. but there has got to be something i can do. i'm scared to send him to her. plus he does not want to go. i taped him for 26 minutes last friday crying after i told him mommy was coming to pick him up. can any one tell me if there is anything i can do.
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Under the Radar Member
I think your best bet at this point is start building a case through documentation. If ANY DOCTOR tells you they suspect abuse - you should INSIST it be investigated. It could be your ex, it could be her b/f, it could be someone else. The doctor actually should have filed a report anyway - and I'm surprised s/he didn't.

If there are bruises, etc that are suspicious (let's face it - most kids have some bruises) - take photos and take the kid to the doc. If he comes home with flea bites - take photos and take the kid to the doc. If a cut, etc is infected - take photos and take the kid to the doc.

The audio tape may or may not help. There's no way you're going to be able to prove with a tape that you don't say anything to the kiddo about Mommy unless you're taping 24/7. And (I'm assuming your son is quite small), separation anxiety happens a lot - a lawyer's going to claim that.

Good Luck - I hope it works out for you and your son.



thanks for your imput, and believe me i have a complex case file on the ex. i'm a police officer, and i have doctor records,photos,statements, etc. i have more than enough solid evidence. but i have had a big problem getting the judge to listen, and under stand. that she does not need as much visitation as she gets. even with what i had on her when we went to court for primary custody. it's a wonder i got custody. so i'm at the end of what i can do. now it is do i turn her in to dss or hope a judge will finaly get the message. or wait tell he ends up dead or seriously injuied.


Under the Radar Member
Re: thanks

tylersdad said:
but i have had a big problem getting the judge to listen, and under stand. that she does not need as much visitation as she gets.
There's your problem. Push for supervised visitation.


I would definitely go back to court regardless of what your attorney is telling you.\

File for a modification of the existing order insisting that at a MINIMUM Tyler NOT be present while the boyfriend is there.
I would definitely follow momma_tigers advice and definitely have it investigated and I would definitely say this neglect/treatment is justifiable cause for filing for a modification. If for nothing else it is one more thing in the file.

How old is Tyler? Old enough to tell you what is happening to him? When he is crying does he say why he doesn't want to go?

The video you said your took can be used in court....and it may sway the judges decision...I have seen it done before. Try to have someone go with you when you drop off your son, have them video his reaction to being left there too.
Is the mother leaving Ty there with the boyfriend? omg...my stomach is sick.
Did you think about hiring a private investigator? I know police officers aren't always very fond of PI's (i use to be one) but they can be very useful in custody cases. Actually in your case it sounds like you have a lot on your side right now...I would just file for an emergency modification if possible.

How do you remain sane? Dear Lord have mercy.

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