Need answers

[taytertot]

You don't even support yourself yet. You live with your mother. You plan to move in with your boyfriend. Is that because you need to share expenses in order to survive? How are you going to be able to support yourself and your 12 year old sister on your own?

I've been supporting myself for a few years. I've paid my own rent. My own Bill's. But I got into a severe car accident in early 2019 (that is weird to say) and had to move home due to medical conditions

 

[Eekamouse]

I've been supporting myself for a few years. I've paid my own rent. My own Bill's. But I got into a severe car accident in early 2019 (that is weird to say) and had to move home due to medical conditions

You paid your portion of the bills but have you done it on your own in your own apartment for any length of time? It's a lot different than paying a couple of hundred bucks to mom each month. Sorry about your car accident. Hope you recovered from it well.

 

[t74]

Your sister is not parentless. I think the situation would be different if both parents were dead and you were the only family option, Adding legal challenges to the adaptation to an atypical living situation makes me hope you can find a different way to assist your sister. Perhaps instead of her living with you full time, you could arrange for her to spend weekends and vacations with you thus limiting the time she is at home with your mother while you do not have to assume full responsibility for her.

 

[CdwJava]

And nothing you have mentioned here will convince a court to revoke your mother's parental rights and turn them over to you. Such action is a last, desperate action to be taken, and generally done only after careful consideration and an articulable risk of harm to the children. From what you have written, I don't see that the situation at home has risen to the point where the state can make the case to seize your sister.

As others have suggested, perhaps you can be a stabilizing influence and mentor in your sister's life. Maybe work with mom and dad to allow her to stay with you for long weekends or some Holidays. There are other options besides fighting a lengthy, expensive, and likely unwinnable court fight that would invariably shatter what little sense of family seems to exist between you and your parents.

 

[commentator]

I doubt if any principled attorney would see this as a legitimate case enough to try and make it a court fight. Simply because the situation happens so often that it is a cliché. As soon as an older sibling ages out and escapes from a bad situation, they immediately want to turn around and liberate their younger siblings. No court is going to give you custody as unstable as you are at present, you're one degree removed from moving back in with these same "unfit" parents yourself, and now you want to get legal custody of your younger sibling? No, it's not going to happen.

What you can do is as has been suggested, enhance your relationship with your sister, see if you can persuade your parent to let her spend time with you, get her a phone to call for help with, encourage her, be involved with her and appreciate what she is living through, as no one else really can. But don't draw a line and strike up a battle that will alienate you from your mother, and possibly get it to the point she forbids her 12 year old to have anything to do with you. This is a fight she will very likely win. Don't have it. No amount of dirt that you can come up with based on what happened to you ten years ago while you were living with her is going to have any sort of affect on how the courts look at the situation now.

I actually have seen a situation this where, as teen grows up, coming to stay with older sister who has raised me anyway, guess what? Baby sis turns up pregnant. Guess who is father? Older sister's --well in this case it was husband, I guess you'd have to say "fiancé." Suffice it to say this custody arrangement not going to happen legally, and you do not need to go further than a legal consult to find this out.

 

[stealth2]

I actually have seen a situation this where, as teen grows up, coming to stay with older sister who has raised me anyway, guess what? Baby sis turns up pregnant. Guess who is father? Older sister's --well in this case it was husband, I guess you'd have to say "fiancé." Suffice it to say this custody arrangement not going to happen legally, and you do not need to go further than a legal consult to find this out.

I, sadly, envisioned a similar scenario...

 

[paddywakk]

Hi everyone. Im in California. I'm 22 and my sister is 12. I raised her and my sister acknowledges me as the person who raised her not our mother. I'm trying to get custody of my sister, my mother is emotionally and mentally unstable. She has threatened to kill herself to myself and in front of my sister. Currently I live with my mother and her mentally/emotionally abusive and manipulative boyfriend. I'm in the process of moving out of her house and into a place with my fiancee and his son. We both have stable jobs, it would be a stable living environment, and my sister said she would rather live with me. My mother has threatened kicking me out multiple times as well as threatening to take my sister away. There is currently a case against my moms boyfriend from my other sister (19) for something that happened a few years ago, and I never came forward about what happened with me.

What are the odds of me being able to get her? She doesn't feel safe being at my moms. Most nights she sleeps with me because she can't sleep.

Currently, my mom and dad have 50/50 custody of my sister but my dad said he would be willing to sign his rights to me, knowing I would still let him see her because we are in good standings. My dad is not able to care for her at this time as he isn't working.

What paperwork do I get from the courts? Should I get a lawyer? Should I call CPS?

From personal experience in CA - my 23 year old niece was unable to gain custody of her younger brother and sister when the parental rights of BOTH parents had been terminated. Reason: the judge said it was too great a burden to place on her. I wish you and your sister well.

 

[taytertot]

You paid your portion of the bills but have you done it on your own in your own apartment for any length of time? It's a lot different than paying a couple of hundred bucks to mom each month. Sorry about your car accident. Hope you recovered from it well.

I was living somewhere else, and paid rent then. But after the accident I had to move out because I had to pay for the hospital and was unable to pay rent. I lived on my own for about a year before this happened. And I have now. Thank you.