Need Help Asap

[tiffy]

Need Help ASAP-Court is Friday

What is the name of your state?VA
I have full physical custody of my 4 year old daughter and share legal with my ex.I have filed to have the visitation agreement changed He is supposed to get her every other weekend and on Wednesday nights. He stopped getting her on Wednesday's back before Christmas and hasn't gotten her on a weekend in 5 months b/c he was in jail for drug use. He called about 3 weeks ago to get her and I didn't let her go. I don't know where she would have been staying and I didn't feel safe letting her go. Can I get in any trouble for not letting her go? He has gone to the court and filed for show cause. What does this mean for me?

 

[Kevmar44]

He has every legal right to see his child regardless of where he might have taken her. It stinks, but it's true. Here's the harsh truth...as custodial parent you are required to follow the law to the "T" and as the non-custodial parent, your ex can pretty much do what ever he pleases. Doesn't want to come see his daughter on Wednesdays, doesn't have to. Doesn't want to pick up his daughter on his week-end (if he's not in jail!), doesn't have to. But if YOU keep her from him YOU are in contempt of court for not allowing him to have his time with his daughter. Crazy, ain't it???? However, to do this he has to take the time and money to file charges against you and in most cases you will receive a slap on the wrist.

 

[kat1963]

>>Can I get in any trouble for not letting her go?

IF the judge finds that you are in contempt of the court order, you face a slap on the hand, fines, jail time, even loss of custody. We only know one side of the story & we also don't have a crystal ball to tell you which way a judge will rule. Your ex obviously takes his visitation seriously, regardless of his drug problem. You should take your possible contempt of court seriously too. VA judges hate visitation interference. Heck, Mr. KAT’s judge told him she wanted have jailed him for refusing summer visitation (that it wasn’t in the divorce order). Judge said she didn’t care it wasn't in the original (only) oder; it was in the state guidelines. Get a lawyer.

>>He has gone to the court and filed for show cause. What does this mean for me?

It means that you are being brought before the court in order to *show cause* WHY you should not be held in CONTEMPT for not following an order of the court. In VA a judge it’s not contempt unless a judge finds you guilty. There is also criminal contempt which goes on your record but I doubt that is what you are dealing with now, unless you left out a long history. YOU have to prove WHY you should not be found as such... Don't do a good enough job in the eyes of the judge (who each have their own agenda’s) then see above for possible penalties. You could get a witch for a judge who today decides she hates your blue dress because yesterday, a guy in blue looked at her wrong. Get a lawyer.

You should have filed for modification & drug testing while he was in the pokie, not after....but that's a moot point now. You had 5 months, possbily longer since it takes months to get to court here. Get a lawyer.

KAT

 

[tigger22472]

Here is the posters other post

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=193400

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?VA
I have full physical custody of my 4 year old daughter and share legal with my ex.I have filed to have the visitation agreement changed He is supposed to get her every other weekend and on Wednesday nights. He stopped getting her on Wednesday's back before Christmas and hasn't gotten her on a weekend in 5 months b/c he was in jail for drug use. He called about 3 weeks ago to get her and I didn't let her go. I don't know where she would have been staying and I didn't feel safe letting her go. Can I get in any trouble for not letting her go? He has gone to the court and filed for show cause. What does this mean for me?

I don't think that you are looking at anything too serious at this point. Yes, you are technically in contempt but you have a pretty decent reason. In the best case scenario the judge is going to agree with you (because of his drug conviction and time in jail) and modify visitation to supervised. In the worst case scenario the judge will probably lecture you, maybe give you a small fine and leave the visitation as it is.

I agree with the others though that you would be better off with an attorney. If you truly can't afford one then make sure you at least get the police reports regarding his arrest and any other proof you can get regarding his conviction.

I personally wouldn't have allowed my child to go either....but I would have offered him the option of visiting in my home or at a public place with me present.

 

[tiffy]

Am I able to get proof that he was in jail just by calling or what do I need to do? If he was on probation before going to jail would the probation officer be able to give me any information? Any information anyone could give would be appreciated!!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

It would have been easier if you had kept to one thread. You need to take everything you have said and put it into chronological order. Why you petitioned to modify visitation, how conserned when you didn't know where he was when he was in jail, you didn't say if he notified you or the court of this? When he was released and wanted visitation why you didn't let her go, was it because he was evicted and he coudn't provide for a safe place for your daughter during visitation? You will have to get everything together, gather the records about his drug use and conviction, go to the police and the courts for this and contact his PO. Ask for supervised visitation, drug testing, parenting classes, other programs for him if you have not already. Some may be available on line others not and you only have w days for this so get busy. The PO may have it all so start there or they can tell you where the records are.

 

[tiffy]

Ok from the beginning. I originally wanted to change visitation b/c he wasn't following the order. He never called when he wasnt going to get her- he just didnt show up. Then he would call past the time to pick her up and want to get her. And on Wednesday's he only had her from 5:30 to 8:00 so if he called late there was no point in him getting her. Then I was never told by anyone that he was in jail. For the first 2 weekends that he was in jail(and remember I didnt know he was in jail) his mother would come and pick her up and she never told me. I asked my daughter one weekend what her and her daddy did this weekend and she said "my daddys out of town I stayed with grandma". So I kind of thought something was strange then. That's when I called his PO and she said he would be in jail for 3 months for failing a drug test. So the whole time he was in jail she didnt go with his parents, which they had tried to make me think they were just picking her up while he was at work on the weekends. Then he got out around the end of July and didnt call to get her until August 11. But I didnt know where she would be staying so I didnt let her go and I havent since then. Then he went and filed a show cause. Do I have a leg to stand on in court?

 

[VeronicaGia]

You both have a leg to stand on. No one can tell you what a judge will decide. He did the crime, he did the time. He's not doing time now and wants the court order enforced.

Also, I can see the Wednesday visitation issue as a he said/she said situation.

 

[stealth2]

And remember - it is his choice to not exercise his visitation. It is not your choice whether to allow the child to go. And.... I suspect that the judge may feel it would have been a reasonable assumption that he/your child would be spending the time at Grandma's - so that argument of yours may not go far.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

And remember - it is his choice to not exercise his visitation. It is not your choice whether to allow the child to go. And.... I suspect that the judge may feel it would have been a reasonable assumption that he/your child would be spending the time at Grandma's - so that argument of yours may not go far.

But after Grandma's deceptive behaviors, that raises a flag also, is that where he was evicted from his mother's or somewhere else? Definately call the PO ASAP and get what you can there, you have to lay it all out. Also does his visitation involve his "friends"?

 

[stealth2]

Not necessarily. They may not have realized that it would be a problem, or assumed that Dad had talked to Mom about it - who knows.

 

[tiffy]

Do you mean that he isn't supposed to be around his friends when she is there? If so no but it does say no drugs or alcohol while she is with him.

 

[stealth2]

Then you have to wait until you can PROVE that he was using/drinking while she was with him - you can't legally withhold visitation as a pre-emptive act.

 

[tiffy]

He was evicted from the house he was renting, not his mothers. And I rent from the same lady he did and she has told me horrible stories about when she went in the house and what she saw. But I know unless she goes with me what she has said will do no good b/c I cant prove it. Will the PO be willing to give me all the info?